February 18, 2011

Why I hate (hearing) Bob Dylan (all the time).

Update: a few of Dylan’s recent commercials.

Bob Dylan’s Victoria’s Secret commercial:



Love this one:


A Rant inspired by Pandora and Every Café’s lazy love for Bob Dylan.

Bob Dylan has a unique voice. So what. My grandma has a (very) unique voice.

Bob Dylan has—well, had—amazing lyrics. Bob Dylan was cool, back in the day. Now he fronts legitimately cool bands at the Grammys. That was nice of him—a pass-the-baton kinda moment. Now pass that baton, and don’t ask for it back:


He was his own man back in the day, sure, with his baby face and cool dark glasses and wild happy hair and funny way of walking around being mopey and interesting.

But Bob Dylan is just irritating, now. And, worse, he’s mediocre:

Bob Dylan back in the day was the only folk-er to ignore Civil Rights and Vietnam. He never bothered to pick his alt self up off the couch and do anything for the greater good. He was too cool for that.


My dis-ease with Bob Dylan stems from the fact that his worbly horribly wobbling voice is overplayed at cafés nationally—I’ve made an inadvertent study of this and can say that he’s outlasted other ubiquitous safe-yet-alt go-tos such as Postal Service or Regina wassername or whomever got famous off the last Apple ad or Norah Jones and Buena Vista Social Club and even Miles Davis.


But Dylan? He makes ubiquitous look precious.

One time, years ago, without premeditation, I had a temper tantrum and had to leave a cafe when I heard his annoying drawling voice come on. For the 20th time that week.

Yes, literally.

Yes, at moments like that, I wish I had my own office so I could overplay Mumford & Sons or whomever I’m spazzing out on this week.

Yes, I love some of his early stuff.


But I’d take any other strange-voiced whackjob over BD—gimme a young Neil, er, Young (who bothered to care about, yah, Vietnam and Farm Aid and the Iraq Wars) or Johnny Cash any day.

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