Imagine: Charlie Sheen walks into your yoga class, rolls out a mat, and takes a seat. Over eight years of teaching, I’ve seen yoga help all kinds of crazy, including my own. Depressives who admit there’s a bright side, compulsives who learn to laugh at themselves, Anxious Annies who sit and breathe through the static. One frequently raging student surprised himself by not yelling at a passing car.
Can you be too crazy for yoga to help?
Yoga’s definitely got the goods Charlie Sheen needs—centeredness, focus, peace of mind, even, dare I say, humility. There’s nothing like a face-plant while launching into an arm-balance to assure you, nope, that is not tiger blood running through your veins.
And breathing—do you suppose that’s what’s ailing him? A shortage of oxygen to the brain? An entire ninety minute class of ujjayi breath and hip openers might be exactly what it takes to land him back on planet Earth.
Certainly yoga could help him channel that drug he’s on—known as Charlie Sheen—toward good rather than evil, toward sun salutations and handstands instead of couch surfing daytime talk shows. And the self-awareness yoga offers might be a revelation to Charlie—yes, you are special. And so is everyone else. He might find himself responding instead of reacting, pausing thoughtfully before he speaks, or god forbid, placing someone else’s well-being before his own.
I’m not saying it’s likely. Just possible. Though much less entertaining.
If he could contain his manic magic on his mat long enough to hold some standing poses and forward bends, a few back-bends and twists, I imagine he would meet his tired body in savasana and finally find himself at home. A refuge within himself that his celebrity and crazy-making never touch.
What do you think? What kind of yoga would help Charlie Sheen?
Kimber Simpkins is a Certified Anusara Yoga Instructor and the author of the memoir Finding Fullness: How one woman found yoga, eased her inner hunger, and started loving herself (yet to be published). Currently, she’s writing her second book, The Love Your Body Book, on her blog based on the workshop in which she shares with women the tools that led her from loathing her body to loving it. She comes from a family of lay preachers, teachers, singers, and healers and is happy to have found an occupation that seems to blend all of these roles. When not on her yoga mat, Kimber may be found playing, writing, or hula-hooping in her backyard garden. You can reach Kimber and find her schedule at her website or email her directly at email@example.com.
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