Healing is easy: some evidence!

Via Ben Ralston
on Mar 19, 2011
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After writing this morning about How healing / personal development / therapy became super-fast and easy! I received a beautiful email from a client that I worked with via skype last week.

In the ‘client information’ document that she returned to me, she stated clearly the issues that she wanted to work on:

“ 1. Depression and sadness triggered by relationship problems: self destructive behavior – smoking weed, overeating and loss of joy in food/cooking, loss of sexual desire, apathy, wanting to sleep all day, isolating myself, finding very little to be happy about, feeling empty, increasing bouts of crying, some suicidal thoughts (not serious) (more warning sign to myself), lack of interest in most things except teaching yoga and my yoga practice.

2. Relationship breakdown due to an incident of violence and the above.”

This client is a yoga teacher, and balanced her problems with a regular yoga practice.

We had one session three days ago, and today I received this email from her.

“Hi Ben,

Just some feedback after the session:

I felt lighter, unburdened and not so emotionally charged in the days following the session. Often happy. Less sad.

Still have some negative behaviour (smoking) but I feel that it more linked to dealing with my relationship and the sadness I feel over it’s break-down.

Almost instantly a deep pain I had in my shoulder and neck shifted and though there was a slight ghost of it coming back to linger – it is definitely out the door.

I feel more connected to people (like my Mother/friends); rather like there was a person in me for others to connect to. Open and able to receive.

And very simply I noticed and welcomed a feeling of strength/grounded-ness and as if a ‘survival/fear reflex had been switched off’.

Even the way I spoke was noticeably different as if I could express myself quite clearly and without a previous reactivity/sensitivity.

Very curious indeed and Wow!”

This is the result of a single 2-hour session. I’m constantly amazed at the seemingly miraculous power of this therapy. But as I wrote in the article I linked to above, healing should be fast, easy, and fun. We are meant to happy. It’s our natural state.


About Ben Ralston

Ben Ralston has been practising personal development—necessity being the Mother of invention—since he was about six years old. He’s been teaching and sharing what he’s learnt along the way for a couple of decades. His main thing is Heart of Tribe retreats—whose very purpose is to help you fall back in love with life, no less. Leading these retreats alongside his woman Kara-Leah Grant—also an elephant journal writer (that’s how they met!)—they combine a deep well of lineage-based yoga teaching experience, with expertise in healing trauma and various other methods of personal development. Ben also works with clients one-on-one via Skype, writes, makes videos from time to time, and is passionate about parenting. He lives in an intentional, tribal community in the hills of Croatia, where you might find him gardening barefoot and talking to the rocks. Connect with Ben on Facebook or YouTube or check out his website for more info.


5 Responses to “Healing is easy: some evidence!”

  1. […] don’t fidget as much. They can stay in Savasana for a longer period of time. So I teach restorative poses in asana workshops, both in the beginning of the class and at the end of the class, doing more […]

  2. elephantjournal says:

    Love you writing about personal things, including vocation and work, and your work is clearly in line with elephant's—to be of benefit. I would however recommend staying away from testimonials, this reads a bit like an ad, and going more in-depth with the above stories, anecdotes, keep it personal—I think that would be more effective, also.



  3. Rich Bordoni says:

    Hey Ben, I was wondering if you could do a little bit of translating for me.

    I think a very important way of looking at personal healing is through our nervous system. At least for me, it makes the most sense to look at it this way. When an input from the outside environment (for example, the "relationship probelms" described in your post) exceed what we personally can handle, what our nervous system can handle in terms of input, we start to resist that input and go into dysfunctional behavior, feelings, and thoughts. (for example, "self destructive behavior – smoking weed, overeating and loss of joy in food/cooking, loss of sexual desire, apathy, wanting to sleep all day, isolating myself, finding very little to be happy about, feeling empty, increasing bouts of crying" etc.)

    So what I mean is… External stimuli carries a certain amount of energy. Our nervous system can comfortably handle a certain amount of energy. When the stimuli energy exceeds the capacity of our nervous system, we respond by getting depressed, sad, suicidal, overeating, sexually acting out, etc.

    So in your opinion, does this Reference Point Therapy produce a biological shift in a human undergoing the process? I mean, the person said she felt a pain in her shoulder and neck release. So I guess the answer would be yes. But in your experience, is this a change in the nervous system? I guess another way to see this is there are some blockages in the nervous system/energy system of the body, and when a certain event is experience, the energy tries to flow through the body but it becomes trapped in the blockage. So Reference Point Therapy clears this blockage and allows the energy to flow? More importantly, is this a permanent shift in which the nervous system actually reorganizes at a higher level to allow this kind of input in the future?

    Thanks for the work you do. Much love. 🙂

  4. Ben_Ralston says:

    Hi Rich, thank you for a great question – sorry it took so long to answer, I just didn't see it.

    Yes, RPT produces a shift in the nervous system, and it's permanent – as long as the same pattern of behavior (habit or environmental situation) is not repeated. It's important to understand that these shifts must be supported by external changes too.

    The nervous system is in two parts – sympathetic (stress response) and parasympathetic (stress release) – i'm simplifying obviously.

    A blockage caused by trauma leaves the sympathetic nervous system switched 'on' in some way. This simply means that our body remains caught up in a stress response, instead of recognising that the danger / trauma is over, and switching over to parasympathetic mode.

    When we release these blockages in our consciousness the nervous system follows too. What this means is that the nervous system issues are merely symptoms. The cause is deeper, and that's what I work with. That's why this work is permanent – I'm not healing symptoms (when you do that, the work goes on and on forever, because for every blockage there can be endless symptoms). I'm healing the cause – and then everything changes (as this client demonstrated perfectly).


  5. Ben_Ralston says:

    Hey Way, this was meant to be a kind of supporting article alongside this one: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2011/03/how-healin
    (I published them both together).
    I should have linked them together…