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May 4, 2011

September 11; May 2: I remember. ~ Sharon Melesko

Photo: Michael Foran

September 11, 2001

I was at my desk at work, when the first plane hit.
The first thought, “Tragic accident.”
The physical feeling, my heart sank, I felt it cave in.
The first emotion, sadness.
The next two thoughts, “Those poor people. All those lives lost.

The second plane hit.
The next two thoughts, “This isn’t an accident. We are under attack.
The physical feeling, my heart was pounding.
The next emotion, panic.
As we gathered around the television in the lab, I think I spoke out loud, “We are under attack.
Another co-worker blurted out, “Those fucking bastards!

The third plane hit the Pentagon and then the fourth plane went down in Pennsylvania.
The next two thoughts, “Katie. I need to get Katie home.
The physical feeling, sick to my stomach.
The next emotions, fear and terror.

May 2, 2011

I read the headlines: “Osama Bin Laden Is Dead.
My first thought, “Really?
The physical feeling, my heart sank, I felt it cave in.
The first emotion, sadness.
Second thought, “I don’t believe it.

As I read on, “…body buried at sea.
My next two thoughts, “No body. No proof.
The physical feeling, undetectable.
The next emotion, apprehensive.

As long as I breathe, I am left with my memories, my thoughts, and my emotions, always.

What to make of it all, I don’t know. I don’t know what to think, or what to say, or what to do.

Confused, unsure, skeptical. These emotions I feel. I don’t feel anything resembling a sense of safety, gladness, happiness, victorious, closure, justice, vengeance, hatred, spite, anger, bitter, nothing like that. I don’t know if that’s all right, or acceptable, or even understandable. It is my truth right now. It is an honest account in response to seemingly recent events, right now. I do not rejoice in death. I do rejoice in life.

Today, I pray, I breathe, I inquire, I search my heart. And tomorrow, God willing, I will wake up, I will pray, I will breathe, I will inquire, I will search my heart.

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Sharon Melesko is an Associate BPVY Teacher and Student. She teaches based on the Baptiste Power Vinyasa Yoga style. In truth, spirit, and a good sense of humor, Sharon shares her life experiences and practice with her students, delivering a message of hope, love and what’s possible. Replacing intensity with curiosity, seriousness with playfulness, desperation with perspiration and inspiration, Sharon reminds her students to forgive themselves, play, be free, and above all, laugh! It’s only yoga, after all.

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