Mirror, Mirror…Is it Love at All?

Via Grace Ventura Sardonicus
on Aug 4, 2011
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In my profession, I’m constantly surprised by how many attractive women and girls perceive themselves to be significantly heavier than they actually are.

When asked to describe their bodies, it’s as though these women are staring into a wavy funhouse mirror making them super wide and fat. Even when their body weight is normal, it can be impossible to convince these clients they aren’t grossly overweight. These days an all-too-typical response is women starving themselves, going on crazy diets or surgeries.

In the quest for beauty, so many of us abandon the # 1 premise: Love Thyself. Whose eyes are we looking through anyway? The editor of Vogue or Twiggy? Seeing the body and its needs without any societal filters or judgments is a 1st step to reclaiming our presence. But how do we do it?” Here’s a simple exercise:

Step 1. Come from a place of child-like innocence & wonder. As if you have never seen yourself before.
2.  Sit with your eyes closed. Breathe & sink into your body and senses. Imagine you are from a far distant world. You just landed on planet Earth with no point of reference or comparison.
3. Open your eyes & begin by observing your hand. Follow the contours of the flesh. The bumps, grooves, lines, shapes, color & texture. From this foreigner’s point of view there is no meaning. It just is. Neutral and no judgment.
4. Now move up your arm and gaze into the mirror at your neck, chest, chin, cheeks, nose and eyes. Continue this exploration through the eyes of the stranger just observing with wonder as you cover your entire body.
5. From this place of innocence, send love to all of you as you gaze. Now close your eyes. Connect with your breath & feel sensations in your body. Allow any emotions to be present and flow with the breath.

The above is an excerpt from my mini book “The Four Alignments of Self Care


About Grace Ventura Sardonicus

I offer to you who have a deep yearning to re-discover your essence...Your lovability...Your truth... To stand in you power as a woman, integrated & whole with body, mind and spirit. Restore & mend the sacred relationship with Mother, your lineage...to feel the pureness of self love, trust, nurturance & support that is within you. How I Work As a Mother-Mentor, Transformational Life Coach, Healer, Yoga Instructor & Mindful Mama of 6 ages 17-28… I have a deep calling to work with women in their relationship to Mother. There are so many women in this world who have a burdened heart, a history with Mother that hurts; that impacts & influences their lives everyday…the places they don’t stick their head up high, step out into the world with confidence, faith & ways they know they can.I work with individuals in their own relationship & Mothers/Daughters together to create a relationship that is life giving & supportive. 35 years ago I began my study of the body through Art, Energy work, Massage, Dance, Tai Chi & Yoga. I wanted to deepen & crack the code of the heart. To be a Healer & fall in love! I went for it through Native American sweat lodge ceremonies, vision quests, Intensive Meditation Retreats, Transformational inner journeys & rigorous study of the body through more traditional schooling. I have taught Self Care & Mother-Daughter Workshops, Yoga, Meditation, Four Agreements & Transformational power journeys to the Pyramids of Teotihuacán, Mexico. My extensive pilgrimages to India, sacred sites in Mexico & Greece have inspired profound awareness & creativity including an upcoming book, Mother How Can This Be? Unanswered Questions as Children but were Too Afraid to Ask. I am the author of Four Alignments of Self Care: The Journey of Aligning Body, Mind & Spirit to Cultivate Excellent Self Care, which inspired several workshops. Many Blessings of Love & Light, Grace Ventura graceventura.com


3 Responses to “Mirror, Mirror…Is it Love at All?”

  1. Thank you for the inspiring post. I think one major step in fixing this is losing that antiquated and artificial BMI index which labels all body types in the same fashion when clearly not all body types are. Nothing can set my body dysmorphia into full throttle like being in the doctors office and seeing my weight is still borderline obese. This after a year of losing 25 pounds and gaining tons of muscle working hard over the year to lose weight. Then I wonder, when the scales tell me I weigh more than I look why wouldn't the mirror? Vicious cycle.

  2. aliagrace says:

    Yes it is a vicious cycle that never has a loving outcome. From my point of view our primary relationship with our body is the result of how we feel inside. When I am happy in my heart and feel gratitude for my life, I treat myself with love and respect. I eat well, exercise and have a desire to be healthy on all levels. The scale becomes secondary.

  3. aliagrace says:

    Thank you for your input. I definitely agree about bodywork, yoga & meditation.