Venus Envy. ~ Dara McKinley

Via elephant journal
on Sep 24, 2011
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Did you know the most orgasmic part of a woman’s body is the upper left quadrant of her clitoris?

Relephant bonus:

Let’s Get Cliterate: One Woman’s Mission to Educate the World.

I think this is one of the most important and world changing facts to ever be brought to light.

In the realm of Nicole Daedone, stroking the upper left quadrant is called “Orgasmic Meditation” or “OMing” for short and is the subject of her book “Slow Sex, The Art and Craft of Female Orgasm.

The actual practice of Orgasmic Meditation is wildly simple and involves two willing participants, a finger, a clitoris, some lube and 15 minutes of time

Photo: HMVH

(and some pillows, blankets and towels for comfort.) In a nutshell, the stroker (could be your significant other or an OMing partner) strokes the upper left quadrant for 15 minutes via the super affirming guidance of the strokee. There are more details to the technique and I highly recommend getting her book, but this is a good sketch.

Within this simplicity, there is something completely beyond the beyond about this practice. OMing bears some of the ripest fruits I have ever seen in the world of healing and spirituality for both men and women.

I could go on and on about OMing (and I probably will). For this post I want to tell you about the relief I felt after my first OMing experience. It marked the end of my penis envy.

Yes, I have always had a little bit of penis envy. Not that I wanted the actual organ, I just wanted my organs to be as straightforward as the penis (no pun intended). For most heterosexual men, it seems that intercourse with women almost always delivers orgasm. For women, only 29% report orgasm from intercourse with men.

Female orgasm is notoriously elusive. It typically requires a lot of communication and direction, and while women

Photo: Ramberg Media Images

who can communicate and direct are quite powerful, there is ultimately a labor about achieving orgasm that can derail sexual desire. As Nicole powerfully states in her book, “Women have a great appetite for sex, just not for the sex that is on the menu.”

So when I first experienced OMing, I was relieved. I was relieved that the upper left quadrant was clearly defined. I was relieved that for 15 minutes of my life, it was the only focus. I was relieved that my man was game. I was relieved that all I had to do was feel. I was relieved that it never felt so good.

Women have a huge desire to experience authentic sexual fulfillment, and men have a huge desire to master female orgasm. Nicole has discovered and delivered a path that satisfies both.


Dara McKinley is a Naropa grad who traded in her thriving Buddhist psychotherapy practice to become a Pleasure Revolutionary. With adoration and truth as her swords, she is a warrior for the healing power of our feminine essence and the rise of emotionally brilliant folks. Find more of her provocative and soul-stirring writing here.


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19 Responses to “Venus Envy. ~ Dara McKinley”

  1. MojaveMama says:

    I must be wired wrong. I'm an upper right quadrant.

  2. Wendy says:

    definitely upper left quadrant everytime – and i love it and celebrate it daily 🙂

  3. This is really interesting! I wonder how many people immediately checked which side was more sensitive? Can't say I ever remember having penis envy…always seemed like walking around with testicles would get really annoying.

  4. dara says:

    Definitely not wired "wrong" – it's the other side for the really special ones;-)

  5. hello!,I really like your writing very so much! proportion we keep in touch more approximately your post on AOL? I need a specialist on this area to unravel my problem. May be that is you! Looking ahead to peer you.

  6. […] you are not sure, keep coming back to the sensation in your body. Let your orgasm be your guide and your fuel on your journey towards your sexual […]

  7. […] disclosure: I teach the practice of Orgasmic Meditation and learned it through the “Slow Sex” coaching program Ms. Clark-Flory derides, mainly […]

  8. […] The thing that is supposed to make us feel closer, the thing that everyone has a right to enjoy, the thing that leaves my body throbbing (and not in the fun way) is not the thing we retreat to for closeness. Orgasm to me is not what it is to you. […]

  9. llll says:

    Venus Envy. ~ Dara McKinley | elephant journal I was recommended this blog by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my problem. You’re wonderful! Thanks! your article about Venus Envy. ~ Dara McKinley | elephant journalBest Regards Cassetta

  10. sarah says:

    wow. thank this link from im a crazy fucking mess…xo

  11. simms says:

    Interesting…I know what I'm doing tonight!!!

  12. […] get a lot of questions about the sexuality practice that I teach, Orgasmic Mediation […]

  13. I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest
    but your blogs really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later on. Cheers

  14. Victoria says:

    I'm very disappointed with these comments and just want to say loud and clear – Thank You. This a beautiful piece and I truly appreciate the subject matter. My only hope is that you would go on further, hence my further research of your work. OM

  15. Heather says:

    As a woman who orgasms with even, just the thought of it, I believe that it is not only the physical touch, but also, giving yourself the mental and emotional permission to let yourself go. Once you identify where this source of power is located, it is an incredible sensation to realize that
    orgasms emanate from our energy core and ability to release and fully give ourselves. So many women clench there muscles and suck in their tummies while making love. But the orgasm uses the same muscles that delivering a baby does. Push it out. Let it flow! It was there the whole time. Nice article.

  16. oooolalaaaa says:

    This may be a silly question, but is it the left side from the woman's own bodily perspective or the person facing her? Thanks

  17. @WychieWoman says:

    I completely agree – I wonder if it is an evolutionary thing like how our hearts are on specific side of our body? Are there women for whom this is reversed? And I was thrilled when I discovered this quadrant (also understanding why some women like genital piercings).