Day 24: Give Up Hope.

Via Marylee Fairbanks
on Oct 23, 2011
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I don’t like being upside down and backwards.

This makes handstand a challenge for me.  I don’t trust that my fellow students can hold me steady, while I substitute my hands for feet. It’s a reflection of my own limited thinking, not an accurate assessment of their competence.

Still, I try. I go to class and take it step by step. First, I achieved headstand, which I couldn’t do a year ago. It’s a stepping-stone to the goal of handstand.

I have found that the key to achieving any difficult challenge is to give up hope.

A fellow 24 participant, named Christianne, sent me an email.  She wrote; “On day one I accidentally gave up hope, but I got it back again.” Her Mom, whom she calls Nana, was ill and she was scared.

I wrote her and told her that she needed to toss hope back in the give away pile.

Hope is disempowering.  It implies that all our eggs in someone else’s basket and that our input is minimal.

But, faith is different. Fostering faith cultivates the small things that nourish and strengthen us.

Both values stem from desire, but desire without self-knowledge, strength, and balance can hurt us.

Years ago, when I was new to yoga, I watched students pop themselves up, into headstands. I joined in, hoping I could do it too.  I plopped my head down and force kicked my legs up. I fell and damaged my neck.

It is important to be grounded and centered before reaching for our desire or we will be knocked off balance.

Hope looks to the goodness of something outside of ourselves to come and help us. It coaxes the mind into the future. Faith thrives in truth and understanding. It comes from within and roots us in the present.

Anusara Yoga teaches us that the first step to achieving your desire is to “open to grace”. If you open your heart, and put faith the alignment principles of yoga, anything is possible. I can achieve my headstand with a forced kick or I can find my center and hug the heart open. I can come to the midline, and engage the belly; which is Manipura, the third Chakra and root of our will. This level of connection and awareness allows the core lift the legs, almost effortlessly.

Christianne sent out a Facebook post, asking her friends to send cards to her Mom. “She adores cards.” She opened to grace with the faith that those who care for her would extend themselves and that small kindness, would fill her mother with happiness.

Faith aligns us with a higher consciousness. It shows us that we have the power to create change.

Christianne’s mom passed away last week. Her bedside table covered with more than 25 cards; many of them from people she didn’t even know. She passed away with the faith that her daughter had a loving support system to help her through a difficult time.

I believe that when someone dies, a spark of their energy jumps onto everyone they loved. This enables them to know us better now than they did when they were alive because that fragment of them, now sees the world through our eyes and feels through our spirit.

That spark continues to glow, expressing itself through each of us. What we learned from them and loved about them– can be expressed in the way we move through the world in honor of that person.

Faith eases those upside-down moments in life.  It helps us achieve a balance between grief and gratitude and gives us the knowledge that our friends will steady us in difficult times.

Hope is the façade of fatalism. Faith is the core of self-determination.

So, on our 24th day, in honor of Nana, lets give up hope and make space for faith.

If we’re willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be 
exterminated, then we can have  the courage to relax with the 
groundlessness of our situation.  This is the first step on the path.

~Pema Chodron.

Thanks to all of you who let go, joined in, and shared your experience with 24 Things.  I hope to see you all in January for the 2012 clean out!

Join the mailing list at CHAKRAS YOGA

Other pieces by Marylee:   American MomThe Princess Of Garbage DaySing Out, Clara, and Letter From A Bully.


About Marylee Fairbanks

Marylee Fairbanks is a columnist for Gaiam, elephant journal, My Life Yoga, and, Her essays explore Motherhood and yoga, but mainly focus on her experiences with her young son and the many ways he helps her grow. She is a registered yoga teacher and founder of Chakras Yoga and The 24 Things. She teaches Chakras Balancing workshops and yoga classes. Prior to having her son, she performed in Broadway musicals across the country. Marylee lives in Massachusetts with her husband, son, and dogs. Find her on her website and follow her on twitter.


3 Responses to “Day 24: Give Up Hope.”

  1. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Absolutely love this. Thank you Marylee!

    Posting to Elephant Yoga on Facebook and Twitter.

    Just posted to "Featured Today" on the Elephant Yoga homepage.

    Tanya Lee Markul, Yoga Editor
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  2. Marylee says:

    Thanks Tanya for your support through all of the 24 days!

  3. LOVE this. thank you.