“Careless Women Never Appeal to Gentlemen.”

Via Kate Bartolotta
on Dec 28, 2011
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 A few tips for all you single gals who need help catching a man…

(Photo: Sad and Useless)

Some vintage advice from Sad and Useless (Click over to see the rest) via  Reddit:

1. Do your dressing in your boudoir to keep your allure.

2. Makeup in privacy, not where he sees you.

3. Don’t sit in awkward positions–and never look bored, even if you are.

4. Don’t talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance.

5. If you need a brassiere, wear one. Don’t tug at your girdle and be careful your stockings are not wrinkled.

6. Don’t use the car mirror to fix your makeup.

7. Don’t be familiar with your escort by caressing him in public.

8. Don’t be sentimental or try to get him to say something he doesn’t want to by working on his emotions.

9. Don’t be familiar with the head waiter…Men deserve your entire attention.

10. Please and flatter your date by talking about the things he wants to talk about.

11. Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening.


12. Don’t be conspicuous talking to other men. The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again!



Drinking too much is a bad idea. It’s good to pay attention to your date.

But my “modern” advice?

Be careless.

Be reckless.

Laugh too hard.

Be the last one to let go from a hug.

Give more.

Listen deeply instead of waiting for your turn to talk.

Break The Rules.

Don’t be physically naked if you’re scared to be emotionally naked.

Care less about how you look, and care more about how the other person feels.

And most of all…and said so often it’s become cliche and white noise, but I’m going to say it anyway:

Be yourself. If you pretend to be someone else, you’ll end up with someone who belongs with…someone else.

It’s not about catching or being caught. It’s not about putting your best foot forward. With friends and lovers and everyone in between:  give your honest self in the most loving way you can.



About Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is a wellness cheerleader, yogini storyteller, and self-care maven. She also writes for Huffington Post, Yoga International, Mantra Yoga+ Health, a beauty full mind, The Good Men Project, The Green Divas, The Body Project, Project Eve, Thought Catalog and Soulseeds. Kate's books are now available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com. She is passionate about helping people fall in love with their lives. You can connect with Kate on Facebook and Instagram.


19 Responses to ““Careless Women Never Appeal to Gentlemen.””

  1. Lorin says:

    One of my students, a few years ago, did a critical analysis of The Rules for her final project and was so appalled that, not only had someone written it, but that it was a best seller. Oy.

  2. I know! Awful!! Thanks Lorin!

  3. Meindabindi says:

    Lovely, makes my spine tingle and my heart swell. Good advice for any gender. xxx

  4. Candice Garrett says:

    Lovely, absolutely!

  5. greenbless says:

    Kate, big thumbs up on the MT school over law school. You've chosen a life a joy, bliss and healing over emotional constipation and pain. I know quite a few attorneys and they are all miserable with their work, and those who work for firms (not non-profits) have a life of even more misery. I once interned at a big international law firm when I was thinking about going to law school many eons ago: a bunch of self-serving pencil pushers ready to Tanya Harding you to get to alphabetize the next set of briefs. You'll be laughing all the way into sensory bliss and the power of the inner pharmacy of the body. Enjoy!! <3

  6. Thanks! When I was contemplating law school, what it finally came down to was the fact that it was just not the lifestyle I wanted either…I am enjoying massage so much & graduate in 4 months!!

  7. greenbless says:

    Congrats! I hope you receive unlimited joy and meditation from your practice. Doing massage clears my mind, gets me into my heart and activates the most wonderful healing energy inside of me. <3

  8. Jeannette says:

    What an inspiration you are and, I just left accountancy training because the lifestyle just isnt for me. Have been considering going into a holistic therapy training course in the new year. I most definitely am now. Thank you x

  9. Yay! Good for you Jeannette! Best of luck!

  10. […] in this way teaches you to close off the world and influences around […]

  11. […] newfound softness is a way more engaged option. I think it is a braver and deeper choice for me to need a man, to be scared shitless that he will fail me and to lean on him anyway. In fact, I think it is a […]

  12. […] don’t need self-help books, or makeovers or The Rules. We need to remember that all of those details—good and bad—are just the weather. And some day, […]

  13. […] me: Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that […]

  14. slsimms says:

    Wait…you were going to go to law school?

    Wow, how would you have had the time to share your gift?!

    Glad you chose to follow your heart :0)

  15. Amy E says:

    Entertaining article. I don't know if I would want to be careless or reckless. I can definitely follow the rest of the modern advice. I'm good at being goofy. Is that reckless?

  16. Kate says:

    I find this sooo sexist. As if you want to get a man´s attention you need to behave or do this or do that. How about we do what we feel like doing, and let them fall in love with who you really are.. Just saying