Everyone’s Got Their Somethin’ – Even Skinny White Girls. ~ Dianne Bondy

Via elephant journal
on Mar 13, 2012
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I was overwhelmed by the support and response for my post “Yoga: Not Just For Young Skinny White Girls.”

It resonated with young skinny white girls as well as the not so skinny and not so flexible. I think at our core we basically all feel the same:

Will we ever be good enough?

Just because you don’t look like you don’t you fit in, doesn’t mean you don’t feel like you don’t fit in. Whoa, that was a mouthful right there. How do we change people’s perceptions? How do we change the media and society at large? How do we make the world see us for who we are? How do we feel better, and learn to love ourselves, when the world is constantly telling we are not good enough, smart enough, rich enough and my personal favourite, thin enough?

Photo credit: Charlotte Astrid

Yoga brings us all together in a common place of self-discovery. All of our experiences have brought us together on the mat. We need to accept ourselves first. We need to love ourselves, make peace with ourselves and where we are. What it truly comes down to is loving yourself. Through my experience of yoga I am finally accepting my curly hair, my brown skin and booty-licious big girl body. Believe in yourself, shine brightly, flip the script and invite your world to change by standing in your light.

Yoga has finally helped me realize that I have been giving away my power instead of embracing it. I think the years of people judging me based on my skin color and size are finally falling away as I open my eyes through the practice of Yoga. This year I have parted with things that used to define me, like my Anusara license and the size of my yoga pants.

I have come to some big realizations. I am not alone in my feelings of inadequacy. So to all the young flexible skinny white girls and everyone else, do yoga, do yoga, do yoga, share your light, be compassionate, be open and embrace your life by standing in your power. Make friends with someone: you. We need to see all body types, all ethnicities and ages doing yoga. Encourage your friends, tell your parents and share your passion for your life.

Enhance your beauty by helping someone else find theirs, be authentic, and listen to your heart. Come as you are to each moment in your life. Every day is an opportunity to be bold. We can change the world, it starts with us!

Dianne Bondy, owner of Eastside Yoga Studio, is a former Anusara inspired teacher who just doesn’t seem to fit in to most Yoga gatherings. In addition to being Black and a size 14 she is a typical Type A personality;  prone to overworking, being impatient and becoming easily annoyed. She practices yoga because it helps her breathe instead of yell, take a five minute break every three days or so and not completely fly off the handle when people annoy her. You can practice with her here, find her on Twitter, Facebook, and on her own blog Adventures in Yoga.


Editor: Tanya L. Markul

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13 Responses to “Everyone’s Got Their Somethin’ – Even Skinny White Girls. ~ Dianne Bondy”

  1. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Posted to Elephant Yoga on Facebook and Twitter.

    Tanya Lee Markul, Yoga Editor
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  2. Dana Healy says:

    What about the other way around? What about being painfully thin your entire life constantly asked how much you weigh and if you eat? Having the frame of a 12 year old boy feeling under developed and just as undesired? That the world is on a quest to find the best fitting jeans and I always used to get excited and watch those shows but Oprah never touched upon the size that can’t fill out any of those jeans. It’s always catered to the women who are too curvy what about the women who have no curve or shape and are just as insecure and uncomfortable. I developed what felt like an eating disorder set in reverse  in my late teens and early 20’s. Only my disorder was an obsession with proving that I ate, eating enough and trying to break 100 pounds. Funny thing I’m not allowed to talk about my insecurity of having an over active metabolism bc I should be thankful for being a stick figure who guess what ladies clothes never fit me either! I had to learn to grow into and accept my body just like everyone else. I would cry when people asked me how much I weighed. I wouldn’t dare say that to anyone but yet it’s ok to say it to the overly thin right? When I was younger and pretty angry beating myself up about it and constantly feeling bad about my appearance and people said the usual “you’re so thin! You’re so skinny! How much do you weigh? Omg you should eat something!” i would actually tell these people they were fat and the reactions amazed me. You weren’t allowed to say that to people but yet people could say that to me daily! I hate the anorexic and bulimic girls giving me a bad name ha i was so tired of hearing how everyone wants to be so thin! If i ate with people who questioned my weight or eating habits i wouldnt dare go to the bathroom after eating bc they thought i threw up my food! I became the crazy person. I was hiding something but nothing in reality. Society made me uncomfortable too. do you people even realize it hurts as bad as calling someone fat to their face or telling someone they should stop eating. It’s pointing out my biggest insecurity only I’m supposed to feel good about it bc that’s what society thinks. No one ever talks about the other side. Insecurities are insecurities in every way you look at them and it took me (young skinny white girl which I take offense to) years to grow into and love my own skin as well. I actually got excited and clicked on this article bc I thought for once it was going to be the opposite. Not the battle of being too curvy or anorexic but a person who eats a decent amount and has never had an issue with food a day in her life until people aided in her feeling bad for being too thin and not caring. The sad part was that I was too thin bc I was suffering from depression and anxiety. I went to a nutritionist and doctors. When you suffer from depression and anxiety the bodies natural reaction is to lose your appetite which is what happened to me. I have a small frame to begin with and I eat when hungry so not being hungry bc I was having a hard time didn’t help my size. My point in all this is I hope that people can be more open minded less judgemental if you are curvy and have a figure and you are envious of the stick figure in the room maybe think about how the stick figure may feel, never being able to quite fill out those jeans or that dress. Feeling like men don’t want a tiny woman they usually do want “something to hold on to” so we really do all got something. Yes, eve n the young skinny girl in the room who everyone ostracizes bc she is (soooo skinny). 

  3. oz_ says:

    To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
    – e.e. cummings

  4. Tessa says:

    THANK YOU! The other side of the issue is never fully appreciated. I have always been thin as well, and probably always will be. When I was in 6th grade, I was so tall and thin that our local mall literally did not have a pair of jeans that fit me. I did ballet my whole life and joined a professional ballet company when I was 17. But just because I am a thin person with an athletic build does not mean I do not have insecurities. I constantly worry about looking like a prepubescent boy, and often envy the feminine shape of more curvy women's bodies. And I completely agree with your frustration as to why it is acceptable to criticize a thin person and tell her to eat, when telling a woman she should diet is considered social taboo. Close friends and random strangers often tell me to "eat a sandwich". What I feel like responding is, "Mind your own damn business!" It is not fun when my weight becomes the topic of conversation, or when my friends dismiss my body insecurities simply because what I look like is what they perceive to be "ideal". I am sure that heavier women do suffer because of the "stick-figure" ideal, but punishing the stick figures by publicly criticizing their bodies is not the right response. We should be careful when trying to overcome the idea that you don't have to be white and skinny to be beautiful. This statement is very much true, but we must not forget that skinny white women are beautiful also. In learning to create a more tolerant atmosphere in relation to womens' bodies, we should not reject the ideal we are trying to move away from, but instead create a new image which includes all shapes and sizes (including stick figures!). And as this article point out, yoga is a great way to make this happen!

  5. sadienardini says:

    Lovely post, once again, Diane! Love how you reach out to all shapes and sizes, just as you are asking others to do for you. Way to walk the walk. xo!

  6. Dianne says:

    It's all about coming as you are. Embracing what is and encouraging everyone to do the same. Live their yoga from the space of their heart. It would be nice if we were all included and represented. I am looking for diversity not the same consistent standard of beauty… Especially in a yoga Class or on the front of YJ.

  7. Betsey Downing says:

    Dianne, you are so beautiful, so filed with Spirit, so courageous and so authentic! It makes my heart very happy to hear you appreciating your uniqueness! Great love!

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