How to Be Released from Your Own Intensity.

Via Tamara Star
on Mar 27, 2012
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Sometimes when you’re feeling low it helps to remember that someone out there somewhere; is in more pain, illness, poverty or heartache than what you’re experiencing yourself in this moment and possibly with less support.

When we realize this, we can bow to the grace of what’s in front of us and send blessings to that unknown person out there. In the moment of sending that blessing, we find ourselves released from our own intensity.

Via Daily Transformations

Like I’m not “spiritual,” I just practice being a good person on Facebook.


Editor: Kate Bartolotta


About Tamara Star

Tamara Star believes happiness is not an end destination, but instead the ability to see the ordinary through eyes of wonder. Want her free tips and tricks for health, happiness and love? Click here. Receive her free 3 video series for clearing the slate for more love & happiness. Click here. She's an international best-selling author and the creator of the original 40-day Personal reboot program for women--a 6 week virtual deep dive into clearing the slate on what's blocking you. Registration is open NOW here. Tamara's global reach inspires women around the world through her programs, newsletters, and teachings. She's been featured on SiriusXM radio, Good Morning America, former Oprah producer LeGrande Green's GetBOLD radio, Dr. Brenda Wade's GoodLove Radio, Daybreak USA and News Australia. Connect with Tamara on her websiteFacebook or Twitter. Tamara's work had been translated into 6 languages and featured on The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, Positively Positive, Yahoo News, The Australia, The Good Men Project, and Yoga Anonymous.


10 Responses to “How to Be Released from Your Own Intensity.”

  1. Mr. Science says:

    Really, that’s it? No matter how bad it sucks for you someone else is worse off.

    I feel much better.

  2. Mr. Science I think you forgot to read the second paragraph.

  3. Apoptosis says:

    Exactly what I was thinking. My mother has been saying some version of this to me since I was a kid and the message I have always gotten is not only do I not have a right to feel bad, I should feel guilty for feeling bad.

    Screw that. The misconception that only other people "truly" suffer is bullshit. Suffering is suffering. The world's suffering doesn't ease because you recognize someone else's is "worse" than yours. And I would think if you were truly interested in easing someone else's suffering, you might do more than "send blessings" out into the ether. Like maybe help out a friend or make a donation. SOMETHING tangible.

  4. Apoptosis says:

    This feels like a bait-and-switch and happens all too often on EJ. You think maybe you're going to link to a thoughtful article and you get a couple of short paragraphs of hippie-dippie platitudes.

    Note to staff: This is exactly why I don't subscribe.

  5. Eric says:

    you missed the entire point of the article.
    sure, doing something tangible is best, but often before we can DO anything, we must be balanced and step outside of our own ego for perspective.
    thinking of others, and yes–sending them blessings–helps to give us perspective; neither wallowing in self-pity nor denying our own personal suffering is healthy.

  6. ValCarruthers says:

    Just posted to "Featured Today" on the Elephant Spirituality Homepage.

    Valerie Carruthers
    Please go and "Like" Elephant Spirituality on Facebook

  7. ValCarruthers says:

    Yes, Apoptosis, helping a friend and donating to a cause are excellent ways to recognize, honor and alleviate another's suffering. What I believe Tamara speaks to here is something we can do to help ourselves in the moment of experiencing suffering. Sometimes that's really the first and most necessary action step. First, just feeling compassion for all who are suffering right now. Second, attempting to see the teaching in our own situation and seeing the grace it offers.

    Comforting ourselves by remembering how much worse off so many others are isn't the idea. In order to be the change we have to recognize what we do have and can become.

  8. Apoptosis says:

    No, I didn't miss the point. I just don't think it's a new observation or particularly helpful. Or at least it seems that way to me.

  9. Apoptosis says:

    Honestly, Val, if that was what she was saying, I didn't get any of that. Your offering is far more helpful than hers. (Though I would add something I heard a while back and have no idea whom to attribute it to: "You can't talk to a starving man about God".)

    So maybe you can help me with this: just what does "we can bow to the grace of what is in front of us" supposed to mean in this context, anyway?

    When I wake up in abject horror and panic from a night terror, I'm supposed to (after I calm myself) think of people who have it worse and bow to the grace of what is in front of me? What grace? My own panic? The trauma inflicted on me whose cycle I can't seem to break no matter what I try? The fact that I am safe and no one else is in the house and yet I am convinced I am not safe and someone is in the house? My continued suffering at the hands of someone who isn't anywhere near me anymore? Trauma: twisted gift that keeps on giving?

    I don't mean to sound confrontational, though I can't seem to help it, and I do apologize if it comes off harsh. I just don't see for one /second/ how any of what was written above is going to help me or anyone else in my situation. It's one thing to remember others suffering and try to put yours into perspective after a bad day.

    Quite another when you're haunted.

  10. ValCarruthers says:

    Dear Apoptosis ~ you are truly courageous in describing what you are going through in such detail. In circumstances like yours, it can be extremely difficult to see the value in these perspectives. They can just seem like spiritual band-aids. However, you may find this article of interest:….

    Love and Peace.