10 Things I Hate About Waylon Lewis.

Via Andrea Balt
on Apr 9, 2012
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(Waylon reading this post)

Waylon Lewis, founder and editor-in-chief of elephant journal, is not the boss of me.

But he is one of the most ludicrous men I know (a quality greatly overlooked by most ladies), and it is in this spirit of living our worst through satire and our best through laughter that I’d like to publically display why exactly I dislike him so much.

10 things I hate about Waylon Lewis.

(And an eleventh one I hate a lot). 

I hate it when he walks his talk
by standing on his head.
And hate it when he talks his walk
so loud he wakes the dead.

I hate it when he makes me cry
in meetings and in chats,
And want to punch him in the face
when he misreads the dots.

I hate how Buddhist he behaves
how spiritual and vain,
material, raw, organic, om,
his Eco, Dharma brain.

I hate how he’s so fast & furious
at editing and sh*t
It makes me feel like a wet frog
in a deep, Word Press pit.

I hate his selfish Eco boy
vs. the Yoga girl
I wish he’d let me write a part
And make him lose control.

I hate it how his emails
Are always way too short
They could fit in the subject
And writes them without words.

I hate how cute his Doggy is
It makes me need a hug
And how he lives the simple life:
Of man and bike and Dog.

I hate how he’s so meditative
and Trungpa and what not.
But when he’s not high on caffeine
he chops your head right off.

I hate how he’s both rude and kind
a genius and a fool,
How yin & yang he makes the fight
with retro hipster looks.

I hate it how he’s always busy
and how he misses things,
I’d hate it if he wasn’t busy
and boring in all things.

But what I think I hate the most
(other than the Atlantic wall),
I hate the way I don’t hate him;
not even close, not even a little bit
not even at all.



~ Like elephant culture, Waylon Lewis &  Eco boy vs. Yoga girl on Facebook. ~



About Andrea Balt

Co-Founder / Editor in Chief of Rebelle Society, Wellness Alchemist at Rebelle Wellness & Creativity Curator at Creative Rehab. Unfinished book with a love for greens, bikes and poetry; raised by wolves & adopted by people; not trying to make art but to Be Art. Holds a BA in Journalism & Mass Communication, an MFA in Creative Writing & a Holistic Health Coach degree from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition®. In her work she tries to reflect the wholeness of the human experience by combining Art & Health + Brains & Beauty + Darkness & Brilliance into a more alive, unabridged and unlimited edition of ourselves. She is also on a quest to reinstate Creativity as one of our essential Human Rights to (hopefully and soon) be included in the UN Declaration. Connect with her on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram and sign up for her Monthly Stroke of Renaissance.


14 Responses to “10 Things I Hate About Waylon Lewis.”

  1. MamasteNJ says:

    Andréa! Genius!!! I love this…..
    PS And be on the lookout, later this week for a WL quiz. Oh how we love (?) him…..:)

  2. Robert says:

    I can't wait to meet that madman!

  3. Michelle Marchildon says:

    Genius. I was going to write 10 things I loved about him, but why bother now.

  4. iheartmyyogi says:

    But who is that amazingly good looking guy sitting next to him? Oh wait! That's me 😀

  5. Andréa Balt says:

    Yes, quiz him up.

  6. Andréa Balt says:

    He talks about you all the time. He says, I wish I were more like Robert.

  7. Andréa Balt says:

    Hah, you can still do, I'm sure I haven't said it all. 🙂

  8. Andréa Balt says:

    Really? Awesome! I had no idea, I stole that pic off his FB profile.

  9. yogi tobye says:

    Spotted by the water bottle you constantly have at your side 😀

  10. Marquerite Danker says:

    Great job! I can’t wait until you finish mine!

  11. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Andrea, this is so well done! I love it! xxxx

  12. Oh hell, Colin, you're so mysterious….

  13. Brilliant. I love you poet girl 🙂

  14. josephlogan says:

    Well put. Waylon is one of three people who introduced me to Boulder. I suspect he wouldn't recognize me on the street, but he made Boulder accessible for me.