Holy Planetary Crisis, Batman!

Via Michelle Marchildon
on Apr 3, 2012
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The Planets Rule

Yoga is the path to knowing yourself, but it turns out I have been dating a stranger.

I recently had an astrology reading from a Vedic perspective, and guess what? All my life I thought I was a Scorpio, and now it turns out I’m a Virgo/Libra/Cancer person. Holy planetary crisis, Batman! This is because the Vedic path takes into account tiny shifting of the planets in their orbits over the years, or some crazy shit like that.

I want to admit, that as much as I tried to be a Scorpio there were aspects of the sign which made no sense to me. For example, Scorpios are brilliant. Not so much with me (see above description of why Vedic is different from traditional horoscopes). Scorpios also make excellent surgeons, scientists and leaders. Heads up, you do not want me to operate on you under any circumstances.

Now that I’m a Virgo, life is much, much easier to understand. For example, I like things clean and organized. This explains a lot about my marriage, because apparently my husband was born under a sign that likes things to be spread out all over the place. The other thing about my new Virgo self is that the planet Mercury rules it.  This is why when Mercury is retrograde (which is yoga-speak for when things are not your fault) I go completely freaking insane. Which from what I can determine, is pretty much all the time.

While Virgo is my rising sign (just go with me here because I can’t explain it), my moon is in Cancer, the crab. The crab has a hard shell on the outside and is mushy on the inside. This explains why I still suck at inversions because in yoga, the goal is to be soft on the outside with a strong core. So now when I fall, it is because I am a Cancer, or possibly because Mercury is retrograde, but either way it is not my fault.

Lastly, my Sun is in Libra symbolized by the scales. This apparently means I have balance. This is the one part of Vedic astrology that makes me suspicious because as a mother, teacher, writer, yogi, muse, maid, driver, cook, etc., balance is what I need, not what I have. However, Libra is also associated with comfort and luxury, and that is true. On a bad day, you will find me huddled under my 700-thread count sheets and pure down comforter.

Lastly, for some reason the planet Saturn is all over my horoscope like mold in a beach house. Saturn is contraction, also known as why things often don’t go my way. I thought everyone had setbacks in life, but apparently no. It’s just me.  If Saturn keeps up I might just go back to being a Scorpio, but don’t worry, I will absolutely never operate on you even if you beg me. My new Vedic self knows I’m not smart enough, and frankly I’d rather clean up afterward anyway.


Editor: Kate Bartolotta


About Michelle Marchildon

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She’s an award-winning journalist, and the author of Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga. Her second book, Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga, is for yoga teachers who want to inspire their students. Michelle is a columnist for elephant journal and Origin Magazine and a contributor to Teachasana, My Yoga Online and Yoga Journal. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches in Denver, Co where she is busy raising two boys, two dogs and one husband. You can follow her on Facebook at Michelle Marchildon, The Yogi Muse. You can find her blog and website at www.YogiMuse.com. And you can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.


13 Responses to “Holy Planetary Crisis, Batman!”

  1. ValCarruthers says:

    Terrific, Michelle! I'm laughin' with you all the way because, according to the Vedic astro reading I treated myself to last year on my birthday—I'm not the Scorpio I always thought I was. No, I'm a Libra with my Moon in Scorpio. And Jyotish considers the Moon sign to be the big shot. So yeah, I can relate.

    And Saturn's solid in my chart, too. Plus I'm just a few months into my saade sati. That's the next 7.5 YEARS with Lord Saturn sitting heavy in my life.You might want to have that bit checked further. <3

  2. shay says:

    I have always wantede to get a Vedic reading done. Missed my chance while in India. Need to find a local Vedic Astrologer.

  3. Katy Poole says:

    Some points of clarity on your chart analysis. Sun in Libra is debilitated, which is why you are "suspicious" as to how it relates to you. It actually connotes something different than what you would expect from a more empowered Libra indication. And Saturn is a friend to your chart, being a Virgo rising. So I wouldn't describe it as "mold," but rather iron giving you lots of strength in the areas that Saturn aspects. And finally Mercury…It depends if Mercury is direct or retrograde in your chart as to how you will be affected when Mercury turns retrograde via transit. If Mercury is retrograde in your natal sign, it actually empowers the benefits of Mercury for you when he moves backward across the zodiac.

    So there are really no "one size fits all" analyses offered by the Vedic perspective. It's highly, highly personal. And a lot depends also on the star constellations that your planets conjoin with. Not all Virgos, for example, are alike. There are three possibilities depending on which star constellation was rising through Virgo at the time and location of your birth. Each of these three possibilities has four other sub-possibilities and each is ruled by a planet. Where that planet sits in your chart determines everything.

    Not to create confusion or anything, but Vedic Astrology is so complicated, intricate and amazing that it really defies a simple explanation. Yet it makes many things so completely clear. Glad you were able to experience it.

  4. yogijulian says:

    i used to be gullible, now i ask "is this really true?".

    i used to be prone to superstition, now i am curious about the feelings beneath the need for those beliefs.

    i used to hang on the words of "psychics," now i meditate on the nature of truth.

    i used to buy into pseudoscience, now i see how unlikely and unfounded all of those claims are…

    the crisis/transformative revelation is not from one baseless, superstitious, pseudoscience, narcissistic belief system to another – but to move beyond these altogether and be truly free and existentially honest!

  5. Katy Poole says:

    Yogi Julian,

    I'm taking your comment to be critical of the system of Jyotisha, which I respect. But if you truly understood the system, you would know that it's based on astronomical science (verified mathematically and on par with our modern astrophysics and calculus) that is interpreted according to very sophisticated astrological analyses that are not based on whimsy, but objective observation recorded over centuries in the Puranic literature. It is not superstitious, though many astrologers fall into the fatalistic camp and commit a lot of damage as a result. Jyotisha means simply "to cast light," to offer another perspective than the vrttis in your mind. That perspective can be very healing, transformative and uplifting—as well as spiritually liberating—as I witness every day in my practice and the lives of my clients. It also reveals amazing connections between universal laws of nature and their expression on multiple levels of our mundane existence. It illumines the very basic and yet profound underlying unity that exists on all strata of the physical and subtle universe. In its highest form, it is the knowledge of the Unified Field.

    Unfortunately since the Renaissance, astrology has fallen into disrepute in the West. (And into extreme fatalism and superstition in the East.) But interestingly, Galileo himself—the father of modern astrophysics—earned his living as an astrologer.

    In writing this, I don't mean to disparage your discrimination. I applaud it, in fact. But I also think there's a gross misunderstanding of the real value of Jyotisha as a Vedanga (a limb of enlightening wisdom). Astrology has a terrible reputation and often gets thrown into the well with psychics and mediums where it doesn't belong. The reason the ancient seers included it in the Vedic system (at the heart of all traditions of liberation arising in India) is because it is an amazing tool for self-recognition that truly allows one to transcend egoic identification. It also has some extraordinary practical applications that were at the heart of many great civilizations including India, ancient Egypt and Israel, Meso-America, and so on. Jyotisha played a significant role in many of the functionings in Indian civilization, for example, that were not superstitious but had real and authenticated value—which I will detail in an article(s) at a future date.

    If you're open, I'd love to offer you a complimentary reading with me. Afterward, if you still think it's useless, superstitious, b.s., then you've lost one hour of your life. (My email is: [email protected])

    Thanks for the comment and challenge to show you another side than the stereotype. And perhaps offer you a chance to see how it may benefit you spiritually.

  6. guest says:

    yes. because it makes perfectly sense that planetary constellations that have no measurable influence on the earth dictate our personality and what happens in our life. And all the people born on the same day have the same personality. So glad I stopped buying into that bamboozle.

  7. guest says:

    if astrology is scientific, can we call alchemy science as well?

  8. Katy Poole says:

    Dear Guest,

    Before you make such a conclusion—which may be fair—I'd suggest you read the Surya Siddhanta, the ancient Vedic treatise on astronomy and astrology and compare it with modern astrophysics. You may be surprised.

  9. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Posted to Elephant Yoga on Facebook and Twitter.

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  10. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Just posted to "Featured Today" on the Elephant Yoga homepage.

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  11. Scott Newsom says:

    Yogi Julian and guest. Thank you. For any honest person, there is no need to hold onto this sort of discredited idea. Abstract thought gives us all the ability to create ideas that don't reflect current reality, and that is a gift immeasurable. Likewise, it gives us the ability to distinguish between ideas that reflect reality and those that don't. Failure to use both of these abilities is to waste human potential. I love the idea of unicorns too, but I know they don't exist on this planet.

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