A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.

Via Lori Ann Lothian
on May 29, 2012
get elephant's newsletter
Photo: Michael Julian Berz

If I am going to act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.

Yet all this talk lately of the goddess and the Divine Feminine seems like new-age wishful thinking, a fantasy archetype with as much to do with real life as Superwoman or the Fairy God Mother.


While goddess propagandists promote the unilateral concept of a spiritually elevated womanhood—strong but supple, decisive and nurturing, wild yet wise—glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint. Women can forever rally around each other, cheerleading new heights of intuitive and open-hearted power, but without the cooperation of menfolk stealing their own fire from the gods, we are preaching to the sistah choir.

Bottomline? Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power. Real change means humanity—yes both genders—opts for the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together.

So, on behalf of the X chromosome, here is my invitation to mortal men who wish to dance as gods with wanna-be goddesses.

1. Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.

2. Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.

3. Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.

4. Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.

5. Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.

6. Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.

7. Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

8. Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are, and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.

9. Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.

10. Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other.

When men are willing to meet women heart-first and to live from that divine place of kingly wisdom, warrior courage and boy-like vulnerability, we women are given the gift of receiving all of you. And we are given permission to reveal all of who we are—the nurturing goddess, the juicy seductress and yes, even the nasty b*tch.

In the end, the call to a Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine is perhaps just the simple yearning to get out of our crazy-busy heads and into our still-knowing hearts. As Rumi says, “I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques. I found the Divine in my heart.”

Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together.


The qualities to look for in a partner:

Letting Go is Overrated.


 Like elephant love on Facebook.



About Lori Ann Lothian

Lori Ann Lothian is a spiritual revolutionary, divine magic maker and all-purpose scribe. Her articles on love, relationships, enlightenment and sex have appeared at Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Yoganonymous, Origin magazine, Better After 50, XO Jane and on her hit personal blog The Awakened Dreamer. She is also the creator of The 40 Day Magic Challenge. a daily practice to create a masterpiece life of ease, flow, joy and prosperity. Lori Ann lives in Vancouver, Canada, with her husband and daughter, where she has learned to transcend the rain and surrender to mega doses of vitamin D. Tweet her at Twitter


216 Responses to “A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.”

  1. I loved your link–yes, of course you are right in deep jungian view, all archetypes are alive and well. I was being flippantly clever vs archeyptally astute, playing a bit of the Prostitue to get my point across. (trading intellectual accuracy for popular appeal). I really like your work, Julienne, your site is comprehensive and easy to read.

  2. Yogateacher says:

    Number 8 is called rape. If anybody, including someone in a relationship with me, grabs me without apology I am gonna punch them,run away, and repot them.

    Gender stereotypes suck. I’m with Erik on this one.

  3. I am still stunned that "ravish" means rape to some people…no where does number 8 say harm or force. "Press against a wall" and "bind with your kisses" is not a brutal approach, but rather a simple expression of ardor. But this reaction from some women tells me a lot about what I need to add in a longer explanation of each of the ten items, coming in a book soon.

  4. Yogateacher says:

    Of course a dude would say that is at the core of feminity…because he wants to rape. You kmow, deep down, at her core, she really wants after all. Disgusting and dangerous.

  5. Yogateacher says:

    Grabbing and " ravishing" someone "without apology" is rape. So sad for the men that rapey behavior being called rape puts them off. Try being raped, that really sucks.

  6. Yogateacher says:

    It says "without apology". If you are doing something and there is a question as to whether you would have to apologize, don't do it because it is wrong. This feeds a dangerous fantasy out of which too many of us have been victimized.

    Sometimes I feel like we are just slipping backwards when I read this stuff. At the core of my "feminity", as you alluded to in another reply, there's a woman who will fight like rabid dog if you grab me up like that. Also at my core you will find a a multi-dimensional human being who likes others of the same ilk- as in folks that can't be pigeonholed. You know, i like hanging out not with he-man the effing barbarian, but real people with all the complexities and layers we come with as individuals…that is to say who we are when we allow ourselves to be free of prescribed roles and stereotypes.

  7. I realize I will need to write in more depth about the difference between archetypes and stereotypes–this piece is drawing on the former, not the latter, and makes a point to say 360-degree humans, not one-dimensional cartoons. The value in having your comments, and so thank you, is I can see where I make assumptions about how others will understand what I mean to say. It's a great help to me to hear from women who, like you, did not appreciate the article.

  8. Laura says:

    #8 made me scream YES! 😉

  9. Martin says:

    l agree we must use of sole to connect to the next level

  10. andrew says:

    Martin, we connect with your inner thoughts and must jell on Wedensday when Venus passes the sun at 8.32, all people must do to gain the inner self

  11. Martin says:

    is this why l feel a stronger movement and the willing to give out freedom powers to all l meet

  12. Andrew says:

    yes that is why all people connected will gain stronger urges on Wed and that will deminish as time goes on unless you open your direct openness

  13. James says:

    are you 3 clowns members of some strang group or didnt you understand what Alrishi said, nothing to do with the movement of Venus, can some one else help explain the real meaning

  14. Martin says:

    that is not very nice and a lot of spelling errors, you need James to open your tsdeen thoghts and unwind to a higher level, you really sound like a salesman

  15. George says:

    you all sound like you are drinking something, and l dont mean coke, get a life

  16. George says:

    you all sound like you are drinking something, and l dont mean coke, get a life you really need to wake up, it has nothing to do with Venus on Wed

  17. martin says:

    we need to look at Ashar in regards to Venus passing the earth on Wed

  18. Mark says:

    l too have felt this movement, and wondered if it was only me, thank you for the enlightment

  19. Andrew says:

    I Still think that Mars has something to do with it
    Love Andy

  20. Paul says:

    Would someone fill me in?
    Paul Bellotti

  21. Paul says:

    I like to know if you guys can call me Re: special offer

  22. Gerald says:

    The Sacred Masculine embodies all Your eloquent invitations graciously to put forward his bold pursuit.
    He holds the vastness of Your creative energy and give it shape and form, leading the dance with Humanity as family.
    Nourish the Earth's Children to global awakening and parent the route for all their enlightenment.
    And nothing less… with warm unceasing Divine Love.

  23. Erik says:

    Hi Lori,

    Thanks for your response. The non-sacred part I mean isn't the hetero part, it's more that so much of the vision of "divine masculine" and "divine feminine" (not just in this piece, but in many other pieces I've read and heard from other people as well) are often built from the ground up, starting with the limited perspectives and simply exaggerating these qualities to make them sound divine. Rather than, for example, deeply exploring the divine first, really grasping the mysteriousness and magnitude of it, and then really grasping how difficult it is to squeeze all of that down into something that still retains that mystery and divinity. [Great poems do this best.]

    I'm not a fan of the "everything is divine and each piece matters" style of approach when it just gets conceptual, "anything goes," and doesn't have room for discrimination and really grasping the divine nature of the different pieces… the different divinities all get wrapped up in the same thing, and it becomes broad, general, and lost in the crowd.

    I like the Jung quote too, though I'm not sure how you read it and understand it. I don't hear it as bringing the light into the darkness. I hear it as recognizing the consciousness of the darkness, and that darkness has its own style of consciousness that is different than the light. It gets to stay dark, remain mysterious, and our work is to grapple with that and resist the urge to just shine light into it. If we shine light into it (like the Hero does), we don't get to see the dark (the mystery)… we see the light.

    I believe we're in a period of so much change, and such dramatic change — and we're only at the beginning of it — that it's really good to not try to define everything too clearly right now. When I read the other comments from men, in response to your article here, I hear the lack of clarity and the uncertainty. I feel that myself quite often. But a first step might be to not try and reach for certainty too quickly – and to be OK with that (or not OK, in an OK-way, lol). Divinity never presents us with a whole lot of certainty anyway, and it might just be our work right now to accept the uncertainty, grapple with it, be frustrated, let it be mysterious and unknown (since our "knowing" right now is so fundamentally an ego style of knowing, desperate for light) and let it fire us up in a very different way than just taking the traditional gender issues and magnifying them into something "divine." Basically, grapple with what "divine" is really about before trying to tag "masculine" and "feminine" onto it.

  24. On that note, if you've ever watched "The Legend of Bagger Vance" (a golf movie), you''ll note that its actually a retelling of the Bhagavad Gita!

  25. Erik,
    Thanks so much for this. I was about to write a response but you said it all!



  26. yogasamurai says:

    Interesting, I haven't watched the movie (With Brad Pitt?), but I might. When Hollywood mixes spirituality and sport, the result is often rather hokey. Golf in the Kingdom was also made into a movie a couple of years ago

    Nowadays there's a burgeoning mindfulness "market"! Aimed at a specific demographic, and what's called a "psychographic" (lifestyle and way of thinking) Yoga is becoming a key part of this market, and marketers are engaged in nothing less than a feeding frenzy right now.

    "All that is holy is profaned. All that is solid melts into thin air."

    Karl Marx, on the impact of "commodity fetishism."

    Thanks for sharing that.

  27. Lori,
    Something you seem to overlook is that while men have traditionally ruled in the business and political spaces, women ruled in the home. Now that (at least in this country) women are the majority of the workforce, are starting to make more than men, and have for years been earning more advanced degrees…the tide is turning.

    An interesting part of the new reality is in couples where the woman is working and the man is at home. As well outlined in Hanna Rosin's article "The End of Men" in the Atlantic Monthly, these women are becoming the alpha on the business side of their relationship but refusing to cede their leading role in the household…leaving men on the bottom in both counts. I hear about this all the time from men in such situations and its causing them, after trying to rectify it, to lose interest in being in such a relationship (wouldn't you?). This seems to be a growing trend and I'd like to hear your take on it, in the spirit of what you outline in your article above. If you can address this dynamic in your book. it could be a great service to many people.

    Our roles are changing and while women have been carving out their own new path for decades, we men are playing catch up in figuring out what our roles will be in this new landscape. So far, most of the public voices pointing men in new directions have been from women and no matter how well thought out or well intentioned they are, ultimately its our path to seek for ourselves. Nonetheless, I thank you for caring enough to offer some real substance for consideration.

  28. […] put the divine feminine solely on females and the sacred masculine on people with male-sexed bodies only (as a couple of […]

  29. trueayurveda says:

    It is really quite funny. Such pain-pleasure principle going on. Instead of doing the only thing that there is to transcend it, we write articles and blogs expressing ways of enabling each other to stay where we are.

    Without knowledge and a template, there is no actual process. The experience, be it from a valid template that holds true, is what gives the knowledge the alchemy to become wisdom but only thru discernment. This cycle continues to go on and it is called evolution.

    De-evolution – continuing to do the same thing which is not beneficial. In time this causes dis-ease and pain. Not only in the short but in the long as it also diseases those around us and also our progeny. This is also without the form of above. No experience or experience guided only by ego creates the downward spiral. Laziness grows to hoarding and jealousy and greed. The downfall continues. We clog up and can't tell our heads from our asses much less have any clear or healthy experience.

    To say that one needs to be alone on a mountain top to transcend is ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as running a hamster wheel and inviting others along. Desires are desires, you feed em and they grow. There is nothing outside of you that will fulfill you yet you want to tell someone how to be. More so you cloak this in "spiritual words of daring invitation" to fulfill the lack inside and at the same time project that lack into the universe as how men are not, and it is up to your judgement?

    Spiritual, no. Sacred, no. Ego, yes.

    As you take the route of creative freedom to release you from responsibility, may i ask you……. What is the sacred masculine and divine feminine but the new key words to get something published? They have been worn into the ground of oblivion by the anusara lingo crew. When you take poetic rights to change anything to your liking, well, it grows, then everyone is doing the same and the homogenous mix lacks any truth of what it truly is.

  30. Dale Elson says:

    While you make some interesting points, I do not accept your invitation. I am not a god, I am a man. I am, frankly, not really interested in what women want me to be. My passions to change/better/whatever the world are not generated on your behest – they come from within me. Asking me to change to fit what a woman wants is the opposite of masculinity – it is a an invitation to become an attractive lapdog.

    My heart is either courageous or not, and trying to satisfy a woman does not bring forth true courage.
    My sword is a sword, because I'm not a character in a Harlequin romance, I am a man.
    Dare to dream?
    I _will_ steer the ship. We are the ship, if you are mine. Are you ready to be compassionately and lovingly ruled by a man?
    Bring your soul to work; let me get this straight – if I don't feel passionate about my dull but lucrative job, I should quit? Right. Because when the going gets boring, a husband and father quits.
    Care deeply – again, caring is either real or it isn't. Trying to care about something to please a woman is both foolish and dishonest.
    Beautiful rages do not exist. Rages are UGLY. Sure, yell at me. But your outpouring of negative energy has natural and inevitable consequences.
    Ravage your woman. No problem.
    Slay your demons. Excellent advice. Note that you have no part in this, because they are _my_ demons. And you can't handle them.
    Leave your mark. That is natural for a man. And not because he wants the adulation of family, friends, and a grateful nation. These are shallow things. This is like "preserve your honor;" a dangerous lie and deceitful paradigm. The true calling is to "make things better."

    The point is that you do not seem to understand men. And this "god" you have designed is not truly a man, and very far from a hero, because he is a woman's vision of masculinity. No more than a character from a Harlequin Romance.

    The life of a truly masculine man flows from within him as naturally, powerfully, and inevitably as heat & light from the sun. It needs no moon to call it forth, and no moonlight to show it how to blaze. The sun defines the day, not the moon.

  31. Jaina Proudmoore says:

    I find this rather generalizing.
    For example (and the first thing that struck me when I read this): Not all women get turned on by dominating men..

    Whats up with this obsession to divide human beeings up in categorizes, like men and women were two different specie? Both women and men need love and respect, and as for the rest (like sexual preferences) those are highly individual.

    Sure, some of these advices are good, but they apply as much for women as they do for men.

    Naturally there seems to be (in my opinion) a minimal gap, if any at all, between men and women. We are essentially the same. But some of us make that gap bigger, and make things more complicated than they need to be, by seeing women and men as two highly different forms of creatures.

    Life is not not black and white, there is no such thing as feminin and masculine “energy” (explain how gays, transexuals, bisexuals, crossdressers etc etc etc fits into this oversimplified theory please?).

    We are people, we are one. There is no need to create borders by treating people different depending on their skincolor, religion, gender, profession or whatever.
    Just treat people like you want them to treat you, and cut the generalizing crap. 🙂


  32. Lady Uberbabe says:

    Thank you. Beautifully written. I think it's essential to remember, and in remembering, to embrace – the sacred masculine in all of us, the divine feminine in all of us – for the sacred polarities of masculine and feminine run in every one of us, regardless of gender. And the call to rise – is a call to rise to the feminine and masculine – within us. It is through this inner union of our own masculine and feminine – that the divine heart that holds all hearts, grows.

  33. Michael says:

    the article was powerful in its being applicable to the subcurrent energies of masc/fem…and the comments section is amazingly insightful, expanding and broadening the message, bringing a clearer idea of its limitations and uses. thank you everyone for participating.

  34. Michael says:

    be whatever you are…yay! you did it!

  35. Isobel Kobak says:

    Appreciating the persistence you put into your website and in depth information you present. It’s awesome to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed information. Wonderful read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  36. Tony in Berkely says:

    What a bunch of pretentious, narcissistic spiritual masturbation.

  37. yogasamurai–I hope we are FB friends by now! Love your responses vs reactions

  38. yogasamurai says:

    I love my responses AND my reactions. Sorry, you don't get to order people a la carte. Unless you're a control freak? Oh, must be reacting again, THANK YOU JESUS!

  39. yogasamurai says:

    FB? Never seen you there!

  40. Dale–your points are good…some of them..this made me smile "Asking me to change to fit what a woman wants is the opposite of masculinity – it is a an invitation to become an attractive lapdog."…..

    No. I am not asking any man to change. I am saying what a WOMAN's heart yearns for in her man. That is all. It's not a demand it is an invitation.

    "if I don't feel passionate about my dull but lucrative job, I should quit? Right. Because when the going gets boring, a husband and father quits. "

    "I _will_ steer the ship. We are the ship, if you are mine. Are you ready to be compassionately and lovingly ruled by a man? " –YES! Ruled, not the word I'd use. But a man who is strong enought to lean on. Nice.

    NO….I clearly say that if the work if for money then it's not what you do that matters, but what you bring to what you do. I say in the end, it's not the job, but the man in the job….

    "Beautiful rages do not exist. Rages are UGLY. " Jesus apparently raged in the temple at the money changers. Sometimes rage is not an attack (you f*cking a-hole" but rather an expression of truth…"I am ANGRY." You are wrong to put rage in the category of bad.

    I could go on…what i want to say most, is thank you for taking the time to write your response. Every reaction or response is helpful in my understanding.

  41. Don Juan says:

    Written like a true woman, all emotion and no logic at work.

  42. David says:

    All this talk of 'The Divine' has no meaning if we do not truly understand what it actually is? If beyond the expresssion of word(s) then talking about it is not going to help/assist anyone.

    If there is divinity then it would surely be seen in actions rather than words by philososphers, new-age(neo)advaitists. Actions that prove uniqueness of character than driven by emotional and mental(concepts) fantasy!

  43. David says:

    Just concepts and nothing more!

  44. I love seeing male-positive posts, honoring our male "gods". Our beautiful boys and men have a right to be treated with love and respect so they can be vulnerable. I didn't like the part about it being OK for women to unleash being "a nasty bitch" and men being expected to take it. That's violence and violence is never acceptable.

  45. […] write this now because a recent article of mine on love at elephant journal went viral. A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine soared to 44,000 views and 12,000 Facebook likes in ten days. The piece also drew praise and […]

  46. you forgot "public display."

  47. Thank God for a right brain

  48. Sorel says:

    Hi Paul – thanks for your comments. I would suggest that you read the book. New Self New World is about as far from a blanket discussion trumpeting patriarchy as the problem and blaming men or making them inherently evil as you can get. It is, plainly, beyond such basic analysis. It is subtle, profound, totally paradigm shifting in an uplifting and completely regenerative (for men and women alike) way. The book is an exquisite discussion that brings the reader to only ever greater connection and love to themselves and their inherent masculine and feminine energies (our humanity), greater connection to others, to the world, to The Oneness inherent in the world. The primary thing it does is bring us to a recognition of our inherent Wholeness. So it is my humble opinion that there are no landmines. Just opportunities to revolutionize the way we experience this human experience.