get elephant's newsletter
Check out more Best of Craigslist—an unceasingly funny, diverse way to waste your one holy human precious life. ~ ed.
best of craigslist > SF bay area > Dolores Park around noon – m4w Originally Posted: Wed, 4 Jan 13:45 PST
Dolores Park around noon – m4w
Date: 2012-01-04, 1:45PM PST
My day began pretty normal. Wake up, eat cereal, pull on jeans, call in sick to work and head to Dolo. Turns out my roommate (that lackluster ass-hat, dirty water, dick-lipped, anti-poon waste of sexual organs and air) decided to break up edibles in my cereal in hopes that I would eat it and then go to work super high.
It worked, I was high. Really high. So high I could taste colors and touch emotions. Up was happiness and left was pink. But, unlike the joyful acceptance that comes from willingly doing drugs, un-willingly doing them is much different. I didn’t know how I got high, which lead me to think I was having a stroke or that I had died and this was some weird limbo. Ultimately I decided that I was still dreaming. This was a mistake.~Accepting the fact that I was lucid dreaming, I got half naked and pissed myself while running down Guerrero street (don’t judge me). I arrived at the park with a half eaten Mexi-pop and 1 can of PBR (if you know how I got these things please let me know and if I robbed a store, I’m sorry and I will repay you.) I saw you almost immediately and tried to make my move. You were beautiful. Eyes more beautiful than a tinfoil wrapped Cancun super burrito and skin graffitied like a side street mural. I would go vegan, fair-trade, local, organic for you. But, things didn’t work out in my favor. As I approached to drop my finest pick-up lines, I tripped. I must have hit my head on a rock because I woke up in the grass facedown and you were gone. If you remember seeing a clumsy boy knock himself out, I’d love to take you to dinner at Gracias Madre. Also, if you know who went through my pockets while I was unconscious I would really appreciate that too. I’m missing an iPod filled with Celine Dion’s greatest hits.Always,
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
hot on elephant
A letter to the Anger that refuses to Leave Me. 120 shares The Most Powerful Moon of the Year: New Moon & Solar Eclipse in Pisces. 59,398 shares A Relationship will only be as Good as the Sex. 10,746 shares Welcome to Pisces Season: A Love there is no Coming Back From. 14,064 shares How Women ruin Good Men. 4,347 shares If You Love an Intuitive, Old-Soul Pisces, Read This. 10,790 shares If You have to “Think About It,” then I’m Not the One for You. 5,018 shares What Rumi had to Say about Unhappy Love. 249 shares Not sure I thought I’d ever say this, but Ashton Kutcher is about to inspire you to tears. 2,300 shares February’s New Moon in Pisces & Solar Eclipse. 2,180 shares