November 5, 2012

Be Your Own Change.

Photo: jeroen020

Whenever we place the responsibility of change on other people, whether it is on our spouse, our office or our government, it usually doesn’t come.

Think about it, even if someone does something you want them to do, does it create lasting happiness and contentment inside of you? Or, is it temporary—until you move onto the next thing you want someone to change? The change we seek isn’t politics, propaganda or anything, which is filtered through a middleman, bias or manipulation.
Even if it appears as politics, propaganda or any manipulation that shows empowering change, it isn’t truly real or fulfilling, and even if it does change a bit, it will always change to some other undesired state.

Wars are history repeating itself. Whether the war is in your personal life or a battle for land, riches and power; the loser eventually rises up against the winner to repeat the process. The losing side is usually plotting its time to take the crown. Whether it’s your home life or global, it doesn’t change. Think about it. In essence, no change comes; it’s just a re-run.

We complain: if things were just how we wanted them to be, then we’d be okay.

Life will never show up exactly how the picture is in your mind. Whether it’s your kids acting like perfect angels or the person running your country following your agenda.

Someone is always going to disappoint you.

I’m not speaking to defend anyone or anything in your life.

I’m stating this to show how broadly we place the responsibility for our lives and happiness outside of ourselves.

Change will come only from within, through new difficult decisions we make for ourselves. The choice you avoid is the choice to make. Outside circumstances may or may not be cooperating with what you are trying to accomplish for yourself.

Don’t let it stop you!

I know from my experience, if you truly want change in how you see and live your life, look for the choice that takes you into the unknown. Do what scares the heck out of you! Be responsible for you, all of you. Don’t blame outside factors, or be victimized by life or say, “if only.”

Empowering oneself comes from breaking emotional patterns that cause you to react in the same way.

When life defeats you, what do you do?

I faced a huge obstacle in my life last week, something that I’ve always feared. As I went through it, I asked for the best possible outcome. I did my best not to be angry or self-righteous and tell myself a greater good would come at some point. I also realized I was okay, because it was an experience happening. My perception was my only control.

A few years ago, this event would have destroyed me for weeks.

It would have derailed everything I am trying to do in my life. I would’ve taken it as a personal failure that meant I was a complete loser. And I would have hid out from the world for days, wallowing in my s***.

There used to be a comfort in personalizing events. It’s familiar. I’d beat myself up. How I reacted in the past was what I believed to be the only choice. As an example, when “A” happened in my life, it would cause “B.”

It isn’t the case. When you decide to lift yourself out of layers of heaviness and cycles of emotional reaction, it’s when change happens.

I struggled yesterday.

I processed what happened and how it changes my life in a very challenging way.

I went through panic, doom/gloom and failure. Then I set my cap straight on what my goals are right now. I saw myself either succumbing to the circumstances or making a choice for more change. It’s time to up-level.

Talk about discomfort!

It isn’t easy, but if I can spend the majority of my time in my changed perception of possibility, then I can be excited about creating the miracles in my life that are still available.


If you want it, you have exactly what you need. Just look deeper. It’s all a matter of how you see yourself and your own abilities. Looking to others to wave a wand is temporary and not fulfilling.

Only you can create your happiness and fulfill yourself.

Be your own change.

It’s also the only way this world will ever become a more peaceful community.


Editor: Brianna Bemel


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