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November 7, 2012

The Republicans Need to Fix Their Karma.

This woman cares about more things than her uterus.

The election is over, but the national obsession with my uterus continues.

Finally, it’s over and a nation divided can be, well, divided once more.

Because although President Barack Obama won the election, he almost lost the popular vote to former Governor Mitt Romney.

For those who don’t yet understand the Electoral College which rules American politics, and that often includes me, it means that small states with less population can get a say in who’s President. Otherwise, New Jersey would choose every time.

Technically, the popular vote looks like it went 50.1 percent for the President to 48.4 percent for Romney because other party candidates, including the actress Roseanne Barr, got some of the vote. (These numbers might change if the elderly in Florida who run the polls figure out how to count the votes before 2013.)

However, and this is my point, when you lose half your country’s support, you’re not a big winner.

I’m a huge fan of keeping two political parties in the United States. Each party motivates the other to be better. It’s like Honda and Toyota, or Nikon and Canon. Four years ago when our country was mired in unemployment and inflation, high gas prices and environmental disasters such as the Gulf oil spill, we were asked to vote for change. And I did.

This year, when our country is mired in unemployment and inflation, high gas prices and environmental disasters such as Hurricane Sandy, we were asked again to vote for change. Am I the only one around here who is pissed off?

Yet what choices are we given?

The Republican Party has a huge, huge problem and it’s called karma.

Four Star General and the exemplary human being Colin Powell, famously put it this way: “I didn’t leave the Republican Party. The Republican Party left me.”

In case Republicans do not yet understand this, let me spell it out. We have really big problems in our world today, but what’s going on in my uterus isn’t one of them. In fact, and this may be due to my hormone levels, but there is absolutely nothing going on in my uterus that should be of national concern.

And yet, the so-called “women’s issues” keep bubbling up in these elections. Well, I am a woman, and here are my issues: the economy, overall unemployment, a lack of opportunity for young people, the environment particularly global warming, and how our government could let Michael Vick go free after torturing animals.

I believe that people who torture and maim animals should get the death penalty, so apparently I might have to move to the Philippines or something because no one else feels that way in America. In Mississippi as well as three other states, it’s still just a misdemeanor to “torture, mutilate, maim, burn, starve, disfigure or kill any domesticated dog or cat.” Afterwards, you go back to your previously scheduled activities of maiming.

Meanwhile the Republican Party cannot be heard on this and other topics because they’re busy arguing over a 40-year-old law. Yes, next year, 2013 will mark the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Forty years people; is it time to give this issue a rest?

Did you know that just about every single industrialized nation allows legalized abortion including Canada, Europe, Northern Europe and South Africa? The only places where abortion is still unsafe and illegal are in the so-called developing nations, which often perform female circumcision at the same time.

Now before you start picketing my house because I’m a baby killer, let me say emphatically: I do not want abortions! I would much rather that everyone keeps it in their pants until they can afford to raise a baby. However, that’s just not how it often goes down on a Saturday night, or in cases of rape.

Yet here we are today, asked to envision a future while stuck in the muck of the past.

Not one single American, popular or otherwise, will move forward to create the kind of change we need—the kind we were promised—until we can rid ourselves of our national obsession with my uterus.

And I hate to break it to you, but at least in my case, nobody’s been home down there since at least the last election. That’s why I considered voting for Roseanne Barr. Her platform was: “Vote for me. I’m not a liar. I’m not a thief. I’m not a whore. And I’m not a politician.”

I wish she had added, “And I don’t have a uterus.” Then she would have gotten the women’s vote for sure.

 Editor: Lynn Hasselberger

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