5.5
November 9, 2012

What is Deliberate Orgasm & Why Should You Care? ~ Sheri Testerman {NSFW}

Deliberate Orgasm is my passion. It’s my life, it’s what I experience every day and it’s what I teach.

I’m in the business of female orgasm.

I have been a student and researcher of female orgasm for 27 years and a teacher of it for 22. Where do my credentials come from?

I took my first Sensuality course when I was 21 at More University. That started me on my path of sensual discovery. What I discovered was myself; my womanhood, my perfection, my tribe and my orgasm.

On the first step of this path, I discovered that I had a clitoris. I had been sexually active and enjoyed orgasms with my boyfriend but I had no idea that I had a clitoris or that it was the source of my orgasm. As part of the sensuality class assignment I touched it for the first time that weekend. A few weeks later I had my first experience of Deliberate Orgasm with a partner.

My first D.O. date was with the friend who turned me onto the sensuality course. He was also in search of more.

Photo: SimplyAbbey

I lay on the edge of his bed, on my back with my legs spread. He sat in a chair next to the bed in a position where he could see well. He placed his finger on my clitoris and stroked. Heavy waves of sensation flooded my pelvis washing down my thighs. Over and over again I felt waves of deep pleasure. I was getting off. I was experiencing orgasm and it was different.

What struck me most profoundly was the amount of attention he was giving me. I had his full and total attention. He looked me in the eyes then to my pussy and described my pussy. When I looked at him, he had a twinkle in his eyes. I thought, he’s really enjoying doing this to me. He’s getting off on me getting off. Afterwards we talked a bit describing what we felt.

I became fascinated with this new way to have sex.

My friend and DOing partner was also fascinated, so we decided to do research. We wondered what our world would look like and feel like if he filled me up with orgasm.

The first revelation that occurred during this research was communication. Our level of conversation morphed into something brand new. In order for us to have that kind of attention on each other, our communication became more intense. I started describing my sensual experience in a way that I never had before and consequently started feeling things I had never felt before. Through using specific frames to describe the experiences I was having with my partner, my mind expanded as to what was possible.

He wanted to know what I was feeling when he touched me, what I liked, what I didn’t like. It was fairly easy to describe the sensations I would feel, how I could feel sensation move in different parts of my body. What was more difficult was for me tell him what I wanted because I didn’t really know. I knew how to orgasm from fucking but to orgasm with this much exposure and vulnerability felt like a completely different ballgame.

As we would talk about the experiences we were having together places where I had felt victimized about sex were shifting. My victimization was transforming into “my herstory.” I was feeling a rightness that felt oh so good. I learned about the concept and value of telling the truth to him without anger.

My orgasm and my sensuality were unfolding.

I started seeing the layers come off. I felt exposed. For the first time in my life I was talking to a man not just about sex but about me and what I wanted. My fears, my desires, my insecurities, my resistances; all the components that made me.

It wasn’t just about getting off, getting rid of sensation, but about building sensation and building our relationship together. Relating over one of the most intimate areas, our sexuality, was not only intense but incredibly fun. I liked the way he made my body feel. I was experiencing his approval and attention beyond what I thought was possible.

The expansion of my orgasm washed over naturally to my partner. His orgasm became something far bigger also. He started to orgasm like me. It was no longer just an up and over ejaculation type of orgasm. It became dome shaped like mine. We were no longer wondering if we were having an orgasm or not. Orgasm became something that we could measure in intensity and duration.

Our friendship and the surplus we created in each other extended into community. A tribe was created. A tribe of like-minded people. People interested in Deliberate Orgasm, interested in redefining orgasm, sex and friendship. I now had a family.

Deliberate Orgasm has taught me the value of community.

Deliberate Orgasm has taught me how to be a friend to a man and how to teach him to be a friend to me.

Deliberate Orgasm has taught me to love myself and to celebrate in the joy of being a woman.

I’m a teacher and a continual student of Deliberate Orgasm.

One of the founding instructors of the Welcomed Consensus www.welcomed.com, Sheri Testerman believes in expanding fun, friendship and sex through a new model of orgasm; a model based on female orgasm that is inclusive and has people win. By advancing the sensual frontier in her own life for over 25 years, she has experienced what it takes to have continuously gratifying relationships and live a fun life. Together with her fellow instructors, she teaches Deliberate Orgasm, offering courses and retreats that include a demonstration of a one hour orgasm. You can find Sheri on Facebook or email [email protected]

~

Editor: Elysha Anderson

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Source: sexspy.tumblr.com via Pete on Pinterest

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William Apr 21, 2014 9:41pm

I love the article. Thank you for sharing. I care very deeply for my partner and am very grateful that I get to experience her having very deep orgasms, much Like you describe. Yes it is very intimate and amazing. I have never seen someone who so much in their body. Unfortunately, I am the one that has a hard time having an orgasm. I have never had an orgasm through oral sex and it takes me awhile to have one vaginally. Any words of wisdom for men? I know that I think too much and can talk myself out of having an orgasm. It is frustrating and sad. I do love the experiences I have with her in all areas of life. What a blessing and I feel cursed. I do feel like the world would be a much saner and peaceful place if this was practiced daily.

Nov 13, 2013 8:47am

Beautiful, touching, and inspiring.

I wonder, does Deliberate-Orgasm also explore other erogenous zones, such as the G-spot, cervix, A-spot, etc, and energy/breath orgasms as well ?

Thank you for sharing your orgasmic experience,

Eyal Matsliah
Eyalnow.com

Jo Spring May 3, 2013 10:54pm

Sounds exactly like "Om" practice. (Orgasmic meditation) There's a great Ted talk by the founder.

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