Five Steps to Get Over Your Ex & Become Free Again. ~ Szilvia Toth

Via elephant journal
on Dec 3, 2012
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Photo: [Yun Yulia]

Step 1. Decide I want to get over him, I want to move on and not think about him anymore.

I can help you get over him right now, in this moment so you will never ever want to be with him and you won’t look back.

Do you want that? Now?—No? I want him back. I want to be with him…Sound familiar? That’s why the first step is decide.

Unless you decide to get over him you can’t move on. It sounds simple and it is. First just the decision; you don’t have to know the “how.”

How could you make that decision? Well, ask yourself a few questions, such as, “Do I want to be with him or do I want to be with an image of him that I’m attached to?” “Would I want to be with him if he never changed, if he stayed forever like how he is right now?” “Do I want to be with him or am I just afraid of the future?” “Is he my ideal man?”

“Do I want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me?”

Step 2. Face reality.

Get out of your mind. Look at reality, at what is—now. We mostly are afraid of the future and imagine catastrophe, chaos, fear and pain, but everything is in our mind. Face reality. You wake up, just like you did when you were with him. You take a shower, just like you did when you were with him.

You eat breakfast, go to work/shopping/home, you chill, watch tv, check Facebook, eat dinner, take a shower, go to sleep, just like you did when you were with him.

That’s reality. The world didn’t stop moving—he is doing his business wherever he is, and you are doing your business wherever you are.

And don’t create negative movies in your mind; horror movies, catastrophe movies; how you will be lonely forever, how awful life is, etc. Movies are great—I prefer comedies and romance, how about you?

Step 3. Take responsibility.

Whatever happened, you have a part in it.

Even if your part was only to give meaning to something you believed was true and ultimately it wasn’t. You have the responsibility in the situation; you have the control over your emotions, over your life. Yes, it would be easier if we didn’t have responsibility, but also it would be horrible because we would be like marionettes with someone else moving our strings.

If we take responsibility for whatever happened, then we can come out of it too, because we move the strings, no one else.

Step 4. Reclaim your power—take it back from him.

Take back the string from him. He has power over you and he doesn’t even know it; he has no idea because you didn’t tell him that you gave it to him. You gave it to him secretly, in your mind, and them you blame him for not using it properly!

Interesting, huh?

Now you are responsible for your own emotions, for your own life, so take back the control. Reclaim your power, tap into your strength and resources and move on.

Step 5. Enjoy being you without needing anyone to be happy.

Since you are responsible and you have your power back, you don’t need anyone to be happy. It doesn’t mean you don’t want another man to be with; it means you are not needy anymore; you are able to enjoy your days, your life without needing anyone to make you feel a certain way.

That’s the real joy—being with someone just because you want to be and just because you multiply your emotions.

What a difference! What a life! Enjoy!


Szilvia Toth is a break-up specialist. She is passionate about helping women move on with their life as a happy, joyous, conscious woman.
You know how it is when you break up with your boyfriend/husband. It feels like life is over. You feel shocked, angry, sad, depressed, lonely . You’re not feeling the vitality, love and excitement that you want from life.
Well that’s what she is here for! She can help you tap into your inner resources so that you tap into your strength and power to get over your ex quickly.
Her motto is, “Be responsible. Love. Have FUN.”


Editor: Jennifer Townsend

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Photo: [Yun Yulia]




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6 Responses to “Five Steps to Get Over Your Ex & Become Free Again. ~ Szilvia Toth”

  1. Kisha Calix says:

    Great article Szilvia. Its very insightful. I look forward to reading more of your work.

  2. Thank you Kisha. I look forward to contributing more.

  3. Jodi says:

    Great article! I must pass it on. 😉

  4. Thank you Jodi! I'm glad you like it and share it with others. That was the reason to write it, hehe 🙂

  5. onlyonelikethis says:

    Succint and to the point. I loved reading this. Reminds me of when I had a hard time getting over someone and what I still need to do. There are still little threads left and I need to keep going through these steps in a cyclical way till all is clear.

  6. I'm glad you found it useful. I like your awareness, that's a great strategy to go over and over the cycles and clean what's still left.