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January 27, 2013

Realistic Coachella lineup.

Haven’t been? Here’s our handy packing guide and coverage from years past.

“I want to do all of the drugs and then lie in the grass and listen to Sigur Ros.”

Via Funny or Die (real lineup below):

Real lineup:

Day 1

  • The Stone Roses
  • Blur
  • Yeah Yeah Yeahs
  • Modest Mouse
  • Lou Reed
  • Jurassic 5
  • Grinderman
  • Bassnectar
  • Dog Blood
  • How To Destroy Angels
  • Passion Pit
  • Tegan and Sara
  • Band of Horses
  • Beach House
  • Metric
  • Local Natives
  • Of Monsters and Men
  • Infected Mushroom
  • Japandroids
  • Divine Fits
  • Stars
  • Johnny Marr
  • Luciano
  • Wolfgang Gartner
  • Nicky Romero
  • Modestep
  • Tommy Trash
  • Thomas Gold
  • The Shouting Matches
  • Dillon Francis
  • Four Tet
  • Aesop Rock
  • Alt-J
  • Jello Biafra and the Guantanamo School of Medicine
  • TNIGHT
  • Jake Bugg
  • Earl Sweatshirt
  • Polica
  • Sparks
  • Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra
  • Purity Ring
  • Lee Scrath Perry
  • Dam-Funk
  • DJ Harvey
  • Jamie xx
  • Seth Troxler
  • Youth Lagoon
  • Deathfix
  • C2C
  • Beardyman
  • Lord Huron
  • Palma Violets
  • IO Echo
  • Skinny Lister
  • The Neighbourhod
  • Sam XL Pure Filth Sound

Day 2

  • Phoenix
  • The xx
  • The Postal Service
  • Sigur Ros
  • New Order
  • Hot Chip
  • Grizzly Bear
  • Knife Party
  • Benny Benassi
  • Two Door Cinema Club
  • Moby
  • Descendents
  • Yeasayer
  • Franz Ferdinand
  • Violent Femmes
  • Simian Mobile Disco
  • Spiritualized
  • Puscifer
  • Cafe Tacvba
  • Portugal the Man
  • The Make-up
  • Bat For Lashes
  • Richie Hawtin
  • Major Lazer
  • Fedde Le Grand
  • Dropkick Murphys
  • FOALS
  • Ben Howard
  • 2 Chainz
  • Janelle Monae
  • Danny Brown
  • Wild Nothing
  • Booka Shade
  • Bingo Players
  • Allen Stone
  • El-P
  • The Selecter
  • Kill The Noise
  • The Evens
  • Biffy Clyro
  • Theophilus London
  • Baauer
  • Zane Lowe
  • Trash Talk
  • Birdy Nam Nam
  • Action Bronson
  • Jason Bentley
  • The Wombats
  • Guards
  • Mona
  • Savages
  • Shovels & Rope
  • Huoratron
  • Kurt Vile
  • Reignwolf
  • Cassy
  • 3Ball MTY
  • Kids These Days
  • The 2 Bears
  • The Colourist
  • Vintage Trouble

Day 3

  • Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
  • Vampire Weekend
  • Social Distortion
  • Wu-Tang Clan
  • Pretty Lights
  • Eric Prydz
  • Tame Impala
  • The Lumineers
  • Dead Can Dance
  • La Roux
  • James Blake
  • Excision
  • Grimes
  • The Gaslight Anthem
  • The Faint
  • Hardwell
  • Paul Oakenfold
  • Dinosaur Jr.
  • Raider Klan
  • OMD
  • Roni Size
  • The Airborne Toxic Event
  • Father John Misty
  • Tanlines
  • Rodriguez
  • Alex Clare
  • Paul Kalkbrenner
  • Jessie Ware
  • Loco Dice
  • Jamie Jones
  • The Three O’Clock
  • Disclosure
  • Mimosa
  • Cloud Nothings
  • Parov Stelar Band
  • Julio Bashmore
  • Thee Oh Sees
  • Dub Fx
  • Maya Jane Coles
  • JEFF the Brotherhood
  • Smith Westerns
  • Dirtyphonics
  • Joris Voorn
  • Hanni El Khatib
  • Danny Avila
  • Ghost
  • DIIV
  • Little Green Cars
  • Mord Fustang
  • James McCartney
  • Unicorn Kid
  • Robert Delong
  • White Arrows
  • Deep Vally
  • Wild Belle
  • Adrian Lux
  • Ladies Night
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