January 23, 2013

Screw Valentine’s Day.


I have a man, a really good one, but this holiday peddling bullshit is getting out of hand.

I saw Valentine’s Day decorations out on store shelves well before Christmas had ended.

Valentine’s Day wreaks havoc in the lives of those without a special someone and those living their personal “happily ever after” alike.

Those who live the single life are forced to shamefully march past menacing displays of red and pink in every store they enter. Radio and television commercials spew promises of engagement rings , sexy lingerie and exciting getaways. Sorry, buster, not for you!

Being in a committed relationship, I can tell you, the pressure of perfection isn’t alleviated when you’ve got prince charming to come home to. Oh, you have a partner? Don’t blow it with the wrong gift!

Honestly, I feel worse for my man—he’s doomed. Our first Valentine’s Day together he surprised me with a barbershop quartet, at our house. Seriously. He’s not topping that, sorry. Doomed, honey. Doooooomed.

The good news is, we can bow out. We can go to dinner, or make dinner, or not. We can see a movie, we can stay home, whatever. I can buy the giant teddy bear that barely fits in my car, but I probably won’t.

This Valentine’s Day, when you feel yourself succumbing to holiday-induced feelings of inadequacy, remember: we’re dealing with a date on a calendar, not something that defines your relationship (or lack thereof).

Screw You Valentine’s Day, you shall torture me no more!



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