The Upside of Judgement. ~ Jen McKelvie

People never cease to amaze me.

I was walking home the other night with a huge basket of laundry when a hoodlum stepped out of the shadows. I immediately looked down and slightly quickened my step.

He said, “Hey gorgeous, I know I’m not your type, but if I was, you know what I’d do?”

Ugh, here we go, I thought.

To my scoff he replied, “Girl, I would fold your laundry, you know it ain’t true what they say about us,” and all I could do was die with laughter right there in front of him.

I’m not overly judgmental, but like everyone, I make snap judgements about my surroundings. This is human nature and important to our survival. We learn, assimilate information and form opinions; these opinions are judgements. Judging has gotten a bad rap, and it’s understandable because we use it to exclude, hurt and objectify.

But, I have found there is a positive upside to all the opinions we throw at everything, all day, everyday. Other than the whole survival thing, having someone unintentionally prove us wrong right as we are judging, teaches us some major lessons. It blows our perspective out of the water and makes us reevaluate. It makes us take a step back and reconnect to ourselves and what we truly believe. We are given an opportunity to rethink, readjust and either consciously hold onto our judgement or let it change. Neither path is correct, but it is a beautiful and special gift to be given the opportunity to change.

Reconnecting with our base beliefs and core values that may have been altered and molded during our day-to-day life is rewarding. But being able to connect being to being is even more special. The spark that fires between two people when a connection is made, regardless of how small or one-sided it may seem, is the glue that keeps everyone together. These little moments of readjustment, connection, spark, are our lifeblood, whether we realize it or not.

When perspectives positively shift, even just for a moment, a whole new positive energy is added to the flow and it not only affects you, but everyone around you.

So next time you are given the opportunity to grow from your judgement or help ease someone of theirs, rejoice in the freedom of the choice to release, shift and add a little more love and compassion to the air.


Jen McKelvie lives and works on the island of Manhattan, the first place she has ever been happy to return to after time away. Her soul flies highest when she is wandering the streets laughing too loudly with best friends. She loves yoga, her dog and green juice.

You can connect with Jen @jenny_jump_up or here: jmckelvie.com.



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Ed: Brianna Bemel

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raaarrrr Feb 19, 2013 1:06am

beautiful spin to find a lesson to learn. did you let him fold your laundry? 😉

jenmck Feb 7, 2013 8:22pm

thank you!!

monicamjohnson Feb 3, 2013 8:26pm

Really lovely post!

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