Beyond the schemes of black and white, there’s a full spectrum of color to be explored. Meet me there.
When taking multiple choice tests I enjoy feeling out all options individually, even if “A” is the obvious answer.
At my favorite deli/market, I avidly sample prepared foods I’ve had countless times just to make sure they are rightfully the choice for the day…or to confirm they are not.
When I’m asked certain allusive questions, I like to know what my options are before attesting to a particular response. Sometimes I choose the option that logically, intuitively and emotionally doesn’t feel right with the hope I might discover something brand new in the experience.
Sometimes I repeat it, just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.
I have plenty of common sense—my intuition is tapped in to Mama Luna and Goddess Gaia, and my emotional understanding and familiarity is high high high—but I really enjoy being able to look back on a situation that didn’t work and say, “I’m certain that is not what I want.” From this comes greater clarity about what I do want, and sometimes the direction to get there.
Even if I choose to continue spinning the wheel, I’m completely confident I’ll be able to drop the “what if…?” questioning once I step back onto my static rainbow; because I’m sure, in fact, that ride is no longer fun or delicious.
I’m an extremist, perhaps, diving head first into the ocean with all my clothes on, and no intention of coming back to land until I’ve found my pearl of wisdom.
I just need to know what it’s like in that water! I just need to make sure it still feels the same! I just need to make sure I didn’t miss a key element in its expansiveness that could potentially shift my whole perspective and focus!
I just have to keep my mind, heart and gut on their toes! They sure do play along with me, and hold me tight, without ever muttering I told you so when my sea-spinning causes motion sickness.
I like that my portrait is filled with vibrant colors and clashing patterns. I enjoy seeing new images where others once played. I’m all for coloring outside the lines, off the page and into your heart. That’s what this great experiment is, for me, anyway:
How close can I come to your heart?
How close will I let you get to mine?
What colors and designs are hiding just behind our curtains, waiting to be revealed?
I want to know you, I want you to know me.
Sometimes that means I’m going to push you; and sometimes you’ll push me. Sometimes I’m going to go on an excavation of our bond because I’m hoping to gain insight which could help us both shine brighter. Sometimes that’s going to be frightening. Sometimes one or both of us will want to run or hide. Sometimes I may feel rejection, or abandonment or judgment. Sometimes I will be the catalyst for those feelings in you.
But I’ll tell you right now: I am in! I have my bare feet, my polka dot pants, my sparkly leg warmers, my tie-dyed scarf and my wide open heart ready to skip along this rainbow-bricked road with y’all.
I choose to see all of life as my muse; and I want life to feel equally inspired by you and by me.
I want to be in love with each moment of joy as it bursts through me in song and dance and giggles.
I will hold dear each tear that flows from my ever-widening eyes. I appreciate each rock I must climb, each overwhelmingly large field I must find my way through, each heart bruise I must nurture—all with the same reverence, with the same notion of holiness or sacredness.
The flame is not stronger than the drop; the sun is not brighter than the moon; nor is the heartbreak more healing than the heart-opening…
My conception of spatial surroundings may be distorted, my ability to track time off and my obsession with drawing hearts and trees abundant. Nonetheless, I paint my life portrait via intimate encounters within this framework of time and space. I meet you all on the sand with innocence, curiosity, wonder and trust. Let us be unafraid and unabashed as we paint our canvas with used brushes and murky water; let us see each stroke as a masterpiece of its own.
Danielle Weir: Transparency has lifted my veil so I can see you, and you can see me. I’m in deep romance with the moon and serenade her with my howl. When I eat, I leave no crumbs—please remember to lick your bowl without shame. I think crying is just as ecstatic as orgasm and encourage you all to prove me right. I love words. I love love. I am in love with you! More written meanderings of love found here.
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Asst.Ed. ~ Jennifer Spesia / Ed: Lynn Hasselberger