Everyone Seems Afraid to Say it, but The Onion is Just a Bunch of Bloated, Balding, Star Wars Fanatics with Nothing Better to do Between Comic-Cons.

Via Tara Lemieux
on Feb 25, 2013
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Source: flickr.com via Humphrey on Pinterest


Sure, the Oscars dragged on (and on and on and on).

And sure, we all got a little bored with the droning on of the endless acceptance speeches and canned comedy shticks.

And, oh my God—do I even really still give a shit?

But yet, here we all are engaging in our own post-Oscar ‘reviews.’ And, in a dialogue that should be dominated by the movies and the awards and the ‘didn’t you just love what such and such said’s,’ sadly, there’s just one thing that seems to have gotten stuck in our collective minds.

That offensive little tweet straight from the Onion’s ‘brilliant’ writer minds.


Seriously, guys?

I mean, I know that there’s this edge in satire—the one that gets pushed and nudged all the time. But, for God’s sake—she’s nine years old, and carrying a puppy purse. And this was her big night.

And sadly, it was spoiled by an urge from one of your pot-bellied writers, who, in an effort to grab just a little bit more of that uber-competitive ratings space, distilled all of this young gal’s accomplishments into one vulgar ‘c-word.’

If that were my daughter, there would be hell to pay.

But, I digress.

I guess, the question I have is two-fold: how low do we stoop in our efforts to boost readership? And do you really think calling someone a c*nt sells?

Steve Hannah, CEO, The Onion offered the following ‘apology’ to Ms. Wallis:

“No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire.”

Uhm…wait, I’m confused…isn’t that the basis for the majority of Onion articles?

He continues,

“We have instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again.”

Thanks, Steve, but as my Mom used to say, “You just can’t ‘unring’ a bell.”

Perhaps, now would be a great time to quote one of your earlier Onion article’s, Steve,

“Upon reviewing the impromptu remarks I made Sunday afternoon, I can now see that I used the wrong words in the wrong way. I would now like to set the record straight with the American people and clear up some confusion about what it was I intended to convey. But what I meant to say was,

“I am a worthless, moronic sack of shit and an utterly irredeemable human being who needs to shut up and go away forever.”

I have to admit, I used to like reading The Onion—but after this? No way in hell.

Ethically, I could never stoop to such obvious ‘click pandering’ by referring to the Onion’s writing staff as a group of bloated, balding, geeky Star Wars fanatics with nothing better to do between Comic-Cons…than to suck down Doritos whilst arguing whether or not one photon torpedo could screw up your entire day….

Or likewise, whether or not a Federation ships ever made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs…

No, no, that would be wrong (and not at all in line with elephant journals strict standards for satire.)

Hey, come to think of it, that felt kind of good.

Shame on you Onion staff and writers… this time you went too far.


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Ed: Kate Bartolotta


About Tara Lemieux

Tara Lemieux is a mindful wanderer, and faithful stargazer. She is an ardent explorer and lover of finding things previously undiscovered (or, at the very least, mostly not-uncovered.) When she’s not writing, you can find her walking in the woods and sometimes changing the way we look at things, one simple moment at a time. You can contact her at via her website Mindfully Musing or, take one second to "LIKE" her on Facebook at Tara's Facebook Page. Or email her directly at [email protected]. All roads will lead to one home, and rest assured she (and Nudnick, the wonder dog) would LOVE to hear from you.


14 Responses to “Everyone Seems Afraid to Say it, but The Onion is Just a Bunch of Bloated, Balding, Star Wars Fanatics with Nothing Better to do Between Comic-Cons.”

  1. laydowninthetallgrass says:

    Awesome, Tara. Just…awesome. ~ Bryonie

  2. Tara Lemieux says:

    Thanks, Bryonie ~ already getting a few 'nips' from the hate mails..

  3. @crford says:

    Soooo, it's not OK to say something bad about a 9 year old girl, but it is OK to threaten to shoot someone for saying something bad to a 9 year old girl? This is the exact type of thing that the gun culture in this country breeds. And this is not the type of thing that I expect from Elephant Journal. Fully disgusted by your hypocrisy and disappointed that Waylon would allow something like this to be posted here.

  4. Tara Lemieux says:

    @crford – my response was not to be taken literally. It was my way of saying that had someone called my daughter a 'cunt' there would be hell to pay. That's *not* ok.

  5. kmacku says:

    I think you're crossing streams here; there's not a threat to shoot anyone in this article.

  6. @crford says:

    It did say "If that were my daughter, someone would be hearing the ‘clicky-click’ of a shotgun making ready to fire." Thanks for clearing it up Tara.

  7. Tara Lemieux says:

    I am *not* a violent person, at all – if you look at my other posts, you will see just that. I did not in any way mean to offend (anyone). My apologies, if that is how you felt.

  8. @crford says:

    I'm all smiles. You made right the biggest problem I ran into today (tough life, I know.) Now I feel like I've accomplished something and can end the day on a high note. 🙂

  9. @crford says:

    And by the way, you're 100% completely right on with this. That was repugnant, even for the Onion….

  10. Hmm, you seem to have taken a pretty extreme response to something that was obviously meant as an exaggeration to illustrate a point. As the editor of this post, as well as the managing editor of the site, I understood Tara's phrasing to mean that if her daughter had been spoken to that way, it would have upset her.

    Clearly, the article is not about gun violence or gun culture in any way, but about violent speech against a young woman, for which I would hope all of us would be on the same side. It was a hyperbolic expression, which most reasonable people would understand in the larger framework of the article. Most parents (myself included) would have a visceral reaction to their child being addressed with sexually violent terminology, especially in a public forum.

    The author, whom I know to be a non-violent, peaceful person, has chosen to rephrase that section. You are welcome to submit something of your own on mindful word choice if you would like.

    Kate Bartolotta

    [email protected]

  11. Tara Lemieux says:

    Thank you, Kate ~ I appreciate your words…

  12. Tara Lemieux says:

    For those of you who have not yet seen, Beasts of the Southern Wild.. that young girl, gave the performance of a lifetime. She didn't deserve to have that moment stolen from her.

  13. Carolyn Riker says:

    Tara, brilliant piece of communication on a subject loaded with repulsive, slanderous demise….you spoke up and out and this is what is needed. I support you and your choice of words. It's heart felt and right on target. You've hit the figurative bulls eye.

  14. Tara Lemieux says:

    Thank you!!! xoxo