Remember that sappy, cute, chick flick from the ’90s starring Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles?

 

Anyways, it inspired me to come up with my own list of 10 things that I hate about my hubby, but, like the end of the poem says:

I hate it when you’re not around,

and the fact that you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

1. Your whiskers in the sink are not my fave things to see first thing in the morning. Your friendly reminder that you’re a super-masculine, beard-growing, manly man is duly noted my love. I get it. You’re strong, manly and capable of growing a full beard and you must shave for work on a daily basis.

Cleaning up after would be extra macho and sexy too…wink, wink.

2. Delving into a lengthy Techie convo every time I ask a simple question about how to play a DVD or freaking out with a laptop issue is reaching. Please just fix it? About four seconds in, my eyes glaze over. It’s just like you being “genuinely” interested in home decorating and my beloved Oprah.

3. Zoning out after you hear the words, “I need to talk to you. You’re not going to believe what just happened. Can we talk?” I’m really not so bad honey, is it? I try to make my anecdotes about the grocery store and my girlfriend gossip as interesting as possible, really. I may begin to preface every conversation with key words, “I’m feeling kinda sexy; I made you a sandwich; or, Hey, the game’s on.”

4. My adorable absent-minded professor. Losing your keys, wallet, or phone on the daily. You’re so giving and focused on the needs of all others that it’s common for you to lose track of things like…everything. But, you never lose track of the things that really count.

5. Your constantly on-the-go nature. It makes me feel lazy! You’re always fully energized and ready to get started on a new project.  You also tend to underestimate how long said project will take. Sifting through the closet to purge will not take 30 minutes, but I have to give you credit for trying.

6. You’re a dream come true, sweetie. Except for those times that you keep me wide awake with your snortling, a combination of snoring and chortling, a very strange and disturbingly loud sound that’s anything but restful. You make up for this one by waking up before me to make my coffee.

7. Now, we’re cooking with gas. Your appreciation and gusto for home-cooked meals is flattering. In some places this appreciation is shown rather than spoken. I think you may be stepping over the line, though, by locking the windows in the car for all to enjoy.

8. What’s in a name? One of your favorite things to do is pretending to forget people’s names or renaming them altogether. Our son’s friends have been renamed every time they step in the door.

9. I can do it myself! Refusing to hire anyone to do any home improvements. Yes, a tool belt and nail gun can be sexy and impressive but sometimes letting someone help can take some of the pressure off. Knocking down walls and re-doing a room is great but You Tube do-it-yourself videos and power tools can be a dangerous combo.

10. You’re my main squeeze. The ultimate cuddling and spooning bandit. Sometimes, the snuggles can turn into smothering according to our kids, who, often have to remind you, “Dad, I can’t breathe.” You’re a big, loveable ball of love, a mush and that makes you, you.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

not even close…

not even a little bit…

not even at all.

 

Karla Rodas has a passion for life and connecting with others. Her intention is to serve others with love, patience and compassion. Inspiring, educating, and leading others in the sacred tradition of yoga, in all of its infinite benefits, mind, body and spirit is one of her true callings. Through yoga and writing, her greatest hope is to help others heal and tap into their own inner beauty, strength and limitless potential. Karla lives in San Diego with her beloved husband Frank and two teenage sons.

 

 

 

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Ed: Kate Bartolotta