February 11, 2013

The Best Break Up Line Ever. ~ Christianne Tisdale

Source: via Jodi on Pinterest

In honor of those of us celebrating this auspicious holiday—this auggh-spicious holiday when Valentine was beaten, stoned and then beheaded (some might say overkill)—in honor of those of us doing it the singles pingles way, I present to you The Best Break Up Line Ever.

Why the best? It’s short. It’s clean. It’s kind. It lacks sentimentality, yet is heartfelt.

It lays all the responsibility on the breaker-upper as opposed to breakee-uppee; there’s no, “And then you did this and then you did that,” with which to disagree or argue.

And no, it’s not, “You’re too good for me” or “It’s not you, it’s me” ‘cause those are just obnoxious.

I’d tell you the story behind it but that would be overkill, which The Best Break Up Line Ever is definitely not.

It’s vajra.

“Vajra is luminous. Its light can break up all darkness. Vajra is able to cut. A sharp knife can sever something with a single slice, while a dull knife saws and saws and still cannot cut through.”

~ The Diamond Sutra.

Are you ready?

“I love you, but since that doesn’t seem to make me happy, I’m going to leave now.”

Give it a little time, and…

You’re welcome.


Relephant bonus:

“Alone isn’t a bad place to be, especially when it’s the alternative to distrust and unhappiness.” ~ Carolyn Brown


Christianne Tisdale does a lot of stuff. She performs on the Broadway stage, sings in some of the world’s most famous and infamous arenas, dances a lot in her living room and is excited for Wallflowers.tv to go live in March. Forced to take remedial writing at Yale, she now likes to scribble in 0s and 1s from the comfort of her bed. Her critically acclaimed debut cd,  Just a Map–A Lullaby to the World is available online.  She’s also a reiki master, who bakes excellent chocolate chip cookie pies. Everything else you never needed to know at: www.ChristianneTisdale.com.

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Relephant: The Relationship Funeral: Rituals for a Breakup.

Ed: Bryonie Wise


(Source: kikisloane.tumblr.com via Joⅆi on Pinterest)


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Ilan Strasser Jan 20, 2016 9:39am

That’s not clean at all – it’s actually still very vague – because the speaker says it “doesn’t SEEM to make me happy”….for it to be totally clear, you would have to make it ” it doesn’t make me happy”!! It may seem like semantics to the breaker-upper, but for the heartbroken breaker-uppee, it will seem like a door left slightly ajar. like a lifeline.

Anna Feb 11, 2015 6:33pm

Best breakup line ever!!

1) There's always a part of the person you were with you will love no matter what. So saying "I love you," it true. Trying to dance and tell a person I don't love you enough never rings home. It's so subjective and impossible for the person you're breaking up with to truly "get." Especially when they are still in love with you.

2) Then adding "you don't make me happy." That's simply perfect…. I'm sure the person you're breaking up with knows already because of whatever reason you're breaking up with them. So you're telling them something they can easily understand and that they can grasp. It's right before their eyes, you're not happy.

Lastly, adding "I love you first" makes them feel appreciated, whole and gives them the ability to justify you're leaving by saying "it's his/her problem they are leaving- They're just not happy and it's out of my control.

Michelle Jan 9, 2015 12:34pm

Well, that’s awful because it’s pretty much what happened to me after 3 years. A totally selfish and unhelpful thing to say to someone that really does love you. 🙁

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