The Best Break Up Line Ever. ~ Christianne Tisdale

Via elephant journal
on Feb 10, 2013
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Source: via Jodi on Pinterest
Source: via Jodi on Pinterest

In honor of those of us celebrating this auspicious holiday—this auggh-spicious holiday when Valentine was beaten, stoned and then beheaded (some might say overkill)—in honor of those of us doing it the singles pingles way, I present to you The Best Break Up Line Ever.

Why the best? It’s short. It’s clean. It’s kind. It lacks sentimentality, yet is heartfelt.

It lays all the responsibility on the breaker-upper as opposed to breakee-uppee; there’s no, “And then you did this and then you did that,” with which to disagree or argue.

And no, it’s not, “You’re too good for me” or “It’s not you, it’s me” ‘cause those are just obnoxious.

I’d tell you the story behind it but that would be overkill, which The Best Break Up Line Ever is definitely not.

It’s vajra.

“Vajra is luminous. Its light can break up all darkness. Vajra is able to cut. A sharp knife can sever something with a single slice, while a dull knife saws and saws and still cannot cut through.”

~ The Diamond Sutra.

Are you ready?

“I love you, but since that doesn’t seem to make me happy, I’m going to leave now.”

Give it a little time, and…

You’re welcome.


Relephant bonus:

“Alone isn’t a bad place to be, especially when it’s the alternative to distrust and unhappiness.” ~ Carolyn Brown


Christianne TinsdaleChristianne Tisdale does a lot of stuff. She performs on the Broadway stage, sings in some of the world’s most famous and infamous arenas, dances a lot in her living room and is excited for to go live in March. Forced to take remedial writing at Yale, she now likes to scribble in 0s and 1s from the comfort of her bed. Her critically acclaimed debut cd,  Just a Map–A Lullaby to the World is available online.  She’s also a reiki master, who bakes excellent chocolate chip cookie pies. Everything else you never needed to know at:

Like elephant love on Facebook.

Relephant: The Relationship Funeral: Rituals for a Breakup.

Ed: Bryonie Wise


(Source: via Joⅆi on Pinterest)



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36 Responses to “The Best Break Up Line Ever. ~ Christianne Tisdale”

  1. Meggs says:

    Fantastic!…I'm going to use that on all my future exes

  2. karlsaliter says:


  3. Josh says:

    That's terribly selfish and a terrible way to end something.

  4. oz_ says:

    Unspoken coda: "Because after all, it's all about me being happy."

    IMO, trying to come up with a universal break up line is as absurd and impersonal as coming up with a universal pick up line. They're both prepared LINES instead of honest, from the heart, in the present moment communication to another human being. Seems to me if you've slept with someone, you owe them the decency of NOT using a line on them when you decide to leave.

  5. Acupunk62 says:

    I agree completely. This line is no better than “It’s not you, it’s me”. A canned line is a canned line. Not very enlightened at all…

  6. @Kokitsuneko says:

    "I love you" should not even be PAIRED up with ANY of those lines at all because that doesn't mean you love a person saying those things. :/ What a joke. How terribly selfish and dumb that is of a "break-up line." I agree with the other people on the subject saying how it is prepared (fake) and disheartening, people should just tell the truth– despite possibly hurting another's feelings. :/

  7. Laura says:

    Might be better to switch it around: "I am not happy. I am looking for something and can't seem to find it. I thought you might be it, but I'm still not happy, so I'm leaving now to continue looking." And forget the "I love you " part, that is dishonest and just an extra stab in the heart.

  8. Lili says:

    I dont care for this line because it indicates we need an outward source to make us happy. No person, other than ourself, dictates our happiness. If we are relying on a mate to make us happy, we will be forever single. If we found a mate and we rely on them to make us happy, what kind of pressure does that put on them? How could they ever live up to that? And if we have a period where we are not happy is it always their fault? With that said, I feel this line could come in use, speaking it to yourself, while trying to gain the courage for the breakup. But what if we changed it to something like "I love you, but I cannot be my best when Im with you", or a line stole from Sex and the CIty, "I love you, but I love me more and I must take care of myself". I like the idea of the line, but think it could use some reconstruction. Happy Valentine's Day <3

  9. paul says:

    if this is honest i don't see how it is selfish, no more so than any other breakup long winded or concise. i unpack it as "my love does not end but this love doesn't bring me happiness and so it will not bring you happiness either therefore our meetings downtown shaved and wearing bathing suits holding a giant heart cutout should and does end now" but i don't think it is 'the greatest'; i'd prefer my line in a graph like

  10. Ozzman says:

    I agree with Laura and others that it’s a mixed message.

  11. Una says:

    Wow, people are serious. Honestly, sometimes I think people just need to get a grip before hitting the "Submit Comment" button.

    As I contemplate how to do just what this line addresses I am blown away by the simplicity of it. No small feat for something so very Not Simple. Breaking up can be a convoluted endeavor in the best of times forget a long term arrangement coming to a close. I don't take it literally but as a starting point for addressing the main points: I love you but I have to leave to try to make myself happy. The rest I would think would be elaborated on in the most compassionate way possible without losing sight of the simplest of truths – self love begins with the self.

  12. laydowninthetallgrass says:

    I agree with you, Una. This seems a play on the break up line, which we've all heard before.

    It slices through the heart, quick, and yet as the knife cuts there is also a holding of love and honesty…and of honor.

    It's honest, it's simple and who says there is no truth to it? Hopefully, should you ever break a heart, you'll listen closely to your own, beating in your chest, and speak from that place, with compassion.

    This is a good place to start.

    ~ Bryonie

  13. Josh says:

    Basing a relationship on your own happiness is a guarantee for failure.

    "Life holds many lessons, but one of the most important concerns how you view the things around you. You have to find peace and contentment in what you're doing and where you are. Don't look for happiness, it's nothing more than a shallow understanding of life. You can find happiness in people, places, and things, but it all comes to nothing. People leave, places get left behind, and things get replaced, life goes on. The latest girlfriend/boyfriend, the newest car, the fanciest clothes it all comes to nothing. The excitement and infatuation in a new relationship wears away. That new car smell wears off and gets replaced with air fresheners. Clothes get torn and fall apart. This world we live in stresses those things, things that are least necessary to life. We worry what will happen if we don't pay our bills, all things we would lose…We sacrifice peace for the demands of our jobs, working for things that we don't need. We seek relationships, not out of a desire to help the other, but from a selfish need to find fulfillment. We hate loneliness but sometimes, in our loneliest moments, life becomes the most clear. We fill our ears with noise, but it's in the quietest moments that we start to listen. We look for the next thing to see, but it's when we close our eyes that we see the most. We hold conversations about nothing and we speak when we should listen. Find contentment in something more, enjoy life but don't let the things in it dictate your joy. It's one thing to read and say you understand, but it's another to live and even more to learn it. Never stop listening, never cease to learn, always keep on living."

  14. LightenUp says:

    Why don't you tell us how you really feel? 🙂

  15. these dissenting commenters are the kinds of people i would LOVE to have break up with me. thanks as always for your brain, Tiz.

  16. Josh says:

    An enlightened response

  17. Deborah says:

    Beautiful in its simplicity.

  18. i reserve my enlightenment for those who need it. christianne can see just fine.

  19. Joan says:

    Doesn't this all depend upon whether you are breaking up with someone you love or someone you do not love? I know the question is simple minded, but not all breakups are with those we still love, right? Or are we talking about "love" in the agape sense? I haven't broken up with anyone in a very long time, and I hope I don't ever have to again. Good luck to all of you out there in the dating scene. Loving people is something that should always bring us joy.

  20. Jennifer H says:

    Whether or not I'd ever use the line suggested, I am fascinated by the response it has engendered. The positive and the negative are the beginnings of the process of understanding ourselves and the fact that others are not necessarily like us. Which, I believe, is one interpretation of Christianne's statement. Do I believe in happiness and personal fulfillment? Do I believe in romantic love? Do I believe in a profound personal connection? For me, the journey of exploration of these questions is more important than the answers, which tend to change over time.

  21. kundanchhabra says:

    WOW! How did this article get through? This is not the best break-up line ever. Not even close. In fact, it's closer to the WORST break up line EVER because it continues to fuel the notion that something outside of ourselves can make us happy. There is no way to happiness. Happiness IS the way. Happiness is not a destination. It's a moment-by-moment choice or decision. It's part of the journey. No one can make us happy. Only we can make ourselves happy, and even that is just not true. We ARE happiness. It is Who We Are. A better break-up line would be "I love you, and yet I find myself moving away from you. Not sure why. But I'd rather love you from a distance from now on." But there is no one break-up line that works for every situation, no formula. We all like easy formulas, but we should take each situation on a case-by-case basis, and look deep within ourselves for why we are breaking up, have compassion for ourselves, and for the person we are breaking up with, and ask our Large Self, Who We Really Are, for the best way to break up and then follow Its Guidance.

  22. karlsaliter says:

    I think the line and the sentient behind it is awesome, simple, and right on target. Every situation is different of course, but this is a compassionate, straightforward, true statement. (If it is true for you.) I think some mixes make us happy and some do not. The idea that we must look inside ourselves for happiness is true but this is semantics: either a given partner is supporting you in finding your happiness (wherever you seek it) or they are blocking you from discovering it. End of story.

  23. diderotsgame says:

    Thank you.

  24. Luke Jaywalker says:

    The best way to break up is to wish the other person happiness. Obsessing on your own happiness is the absolute worst.

  25. Joyce says:

    And I hope the response was…

    "It's not my job to make you happy, dumb ass." Followed by, "good riddance" and "good luck finding someone who makes you happy because that's impossible" (and I'd throw in another "dumb ass" for emphasis). hehe

    People who lack the awareness that happiness is a choice aren't able to have deep, unconditionally loving relationships. It's true that some people are certainly a better fit than others but ultimately if a person is requiring things/people/circumstances, etc. to be a certain way BEFORE they can be happy will be sourly disappointed. Ask my ex husband. Years after he left me (for another dumb ass who thought her husband was also the problem) he finally realized his unhappiness was never about me. He wanted me back but by then I found the most incredible and amazing man who actually knows how to be happy regardless of anything or anyone outside of himself.

    I'm a lucky and incredibly loved woman.

  26. sarajeand says:

    Oh gosh, wish I had this last year.

  27. Clyde says:

    Is it possible that acknowledging you aren't happy in a relationship is a step towards your authentic self?

  28. sari says:

    Or I need to take care my kids, they need me!

  29. bholdsworth7 says:

    I heard "I love you but I should love you more so I'm breaking up with you" – makes sense!

  30. Rosie says:

    This is perfect! I have been struggling over a breakup, but he felt the need to tell me the time wasn't right but he still wanted a future with me. So, I waited for awhile and then he became and a$%, finally I had enough and this line is perfect, even if it is just for me to say in my head!

    Thank you!

  31. Henry says:

    It is a lot better to say: "I dont feel the same anymore." "I dont love you anymore."

  32. Stephanie says:

    Does this mean that my “Notice to Vacate” sent by email was not the best route?

    Worked for me.

  33. Michelle says:

    Well, that’s awful because it’s pretty much what happened to me after 3 years. A totally selfish and unhelpful thing to say to someone that really does love you. 🙁

  34. Anna says:

    Best breakup line ever!!

    1) There's always a part of the person you were with you will love no matter what. So saying "I love you," it true. Trying to dance and tell a person I don't love you enough never rings home. It's so subjective and impossible for the person you're breaking up with to truly "get." Especially when they are still in love with you.

    2) Then adding "you don't make me happy." That's simply perfect…. I'm sure the person you're breaking up with knows already because of whatever reason you're breaking up with them. So you're telling them something they can easily understand and that they can grasp. It's right before their eyes, you're not happy.

    Lastly, adding "I love you first" makes them feel appreciated, whole and gives them the ability to justify you're leaving by saying "it's his/her problem they are leaving- They're just not happy and it's out of my control.

  35. Laramie says:

    I like you, Paul. That’s a great add-on. Not too short and gives a little something more to chew on. Definitely better than nothing at all before announcing a new relationship with someone else.

  36. Ilan Strasser says:

    That’s not clean at all – it’s actually still very vague – because the speaker says it “doesn’t SEEM to make me happy”….for it to be totally clear, you would have to make it ” it doesn’t make me happy”!! It may seem like semantics to the breaker-upper, but for the heartbroken breaker-uppee, it will seem like a door left slightly ajar. like a lifeline.