Regardless of your religion, what you do for a living, regardless of whether or not you have children, a partner, 38 cats, a passion for pole-dancing, or a fully-staffed mansion by the sea, there are going to be moments where you find yourself worn and wary, rinsed out and run down, empty and exhausted.
There are going to be times, a lot of them, where you feel your body, mind and soul screaming out for some self-love, some peace and quite, some grounding, some filling up, it’s unavoidable. That need isn’t a problem, but you ignoring it is.
Feeling depleted, deflated or even depressed doesn’t mean you’re not strong enough. It doesn’t mean you aren’t positive enough; it straight up has nothing to do with being enough, and everything to do with being human.
You are not an energizer bunny, no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise. You need refilling. You need maintenance; you need time out to regroup and refuel so that you can continue to be a kind partner, a patient mother, a compassionate boss, an effective employee. You need to fill up so that you can be happy, so that you can be full, so that you can continue to love and to listen and to give.
How often do you hear those cries, cover your ears, avert your eyes, and just trudge on, push through, keep going without even a second thought thrown toward your own pleas for refuelling?
If you’re anything like most of us out there, too often, I bet.
If you listen closely enough, you’ll notice the hum of empty calling to you well before you actually get to the point of being completely emptied out. The cues and the clues are there—frustration begins to fight its way in; you become increasingly short-tempered, overwhelmed, maybe even anxious, depressed or angry; you begin to lash out, lose your temper, you start to shred at the edges, you become easily stressed, flustered, or pushed over the edge… Sound familiar?
This is the point where you need to interject.
This is when you should press pause and take some time out, catch up on rest, fill up on love and self time, and whatever it is that makes you feel full and connected and calm. This is where you need to wake up and listen, because if you ignore the call of your body, mind, or soul, they will only get louder and louder, until eventually, either physically, emotionally or mentally, you come crashing down, unable to continue to ignore the fact that you need a time out.
Don’t wait for a mental breakdown, don’t wait for your body to get sick, don’t wait until your boiling over with overwhelm to take some time out for yourself! Save yourself some time, save yourself and everyone else in your life a big hit of heartache by taking the subtle hints.
We do so much, give so much, and work so much, or maybe you party too much, or play the roll of never-ending parent, or try to please everyone who expects you to be happy and whole and full and brimming over with energy and life and success and perfection. Whatever it is you do, whoever it is you are, you need to be re-filled, and it needs to happen on a regular basis, a daily basis even, not an every six months basis, if you expect to feel good in your heart and in your life.
So fill up, and don’t for a split second feel bad about it, because you need it, just like you need food, or water, or sleep to survive. You can’t be calm and happy and clear and grounded if your exhausted and overwhelmed and under-self-loved.
You’ve got to take time out to re-fuel before you try and re-offer, because let’s face it, you can’t give something from nothing.
It’s impossible to work and work and work and give and give and give without offering a little bit of that light back to yourself.
You have to have something to give, to give.
You have to have energy to offer energy.
If you’re run down and burnt out, how can you be of service to anyone else, even to yourself? Simple, you can’t.
So take time out for you.
Stop waiting until you’re at “that” point, until the stars are aligned, stop waiting for the perfect moment to arrive to finally give something back to yourself.
You will never regret self-offering.
You will never regret having that bath, or reading that book, doing that class, or going to that retreat.
Giving to yourself isn’t selfish—it’s a necessity, so why not start making your wellbeing a priority?
Give back to yourself. Make yourself feel loved and feel good and connected and inspired and light—go for walks, pick flowers, enjoy the ocean, the mountains, your backyard. Do your practice, go for a bike ride, a shim, a surf, have a nap, take some time out to meditate, bake a cake, sky jump—just carve some time out for whatever it is that connects you to you, whatever fills you up and smooths and soothes you, do that.
Do it now.
Because no one else can fill you up but you!
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Ed: Brianna Bemel