Please Don’t Envy Me: The Facebook Status Everyone Should Read.

Via Rebecca Lammersen
on Mar 29, 2013
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envy

Envy is a dangerous chick, isn’t she? 

When envy decides to visit, she assassinates all rationale. Envy erases our understanding that being happy for another’s success and joy does not affect or detract from our personal success and contentment.

The more I rejoice in another’s accomplishments or life’s luck, the more I am inspired to focus on my own desires and passions.

Lately, I’ve noticed envy lurking all over Facebook. She creeps in between the exclamation points, smiley faces and thumbs ups.

She is taking advantage of our weakness. The human brain was not created to function healthfully in our technologically-ravaged modern world. I believe social media is causing us all to become slightly insane—delusional.

As human beings, we perceive what is in front of us as reality; we trust what we see as truth, but it isn’t. Through our engagement in the daily scroll of hundreds of self edited and airbrushed status updates, we perpetuate the spread of a lethal disease—the belief in an archetype of the perfect life, that does not exist– always happy and shiny, untouched by life’s ups and downs.

This inundation of perfection blinds us with jealousy.

People use Facebook to share the highlights of their lives. Just as a child proudly parades her masterpiece of crayon scribbles in front of  her mother, hoping for the applause of oohs and ahhs, we tout our accomplishments to hundreds of virtual friends, awaiting the thumbs ups and comments, searching for the same thing—validation that we are doing a good job—we are important.

Facebook is a platform for creating and sharing the life we want people to think we live. Anyone would be envious of a life free of pain, sadness, loneliness and heartbreak. The duality of life evaporates as we begin to dissolve into the monotony of perfection.

This is the cause of our envy.

We have a choice to see Facebook for what it is, a sound byte of real life and a reservoir of hungry hearts searching for acknowledgment, but the blur of jealousy overtakes us.

We have fallen prey to the delusion that every one else’s life is happier than ours, more productive and even more valuable.

We forget. We forget that there is something greater that dwells amidst the accolades, the trips and the fancy meals—the every day of life.

This understanding has become lost as social networking sites become our primary source of communication. We deliberately try to set ourselves apart, to be seen, to be happier than the update before us.

We are creating a struggle that doesn’t need to exist. We don’t need to set ourselves apart because…

We are all the same. 

How do we reengage with this sameness, honoring the trueness of the human experience? The first step, set limits with Facebook. I very seldom go on the newsfeed. I find it to be the quicksand of fallacy.

“Life happens between the snap shots. Life is what gets us from one snap shot to the next.”
~ A quote from a movie I saw once.

When we are lashed with status after status of overly exuberant tan people doing yoga on white sand beaches and rock formations, pictures of new houses and cars, pictures vomited on by quotes of high vibration/low vibration explanations (quotes so optimistic they make me want to punch someone), food that looks styled from a magazine shoot and people who look styled from a magazine shoot–we dismiss the in between, the other 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds of daily life. We fall ill with the virus of illusion, infecting the mind with delusion, feeding our fever of jealousy.

We think everything is better ‘out there.’ Basement Series: Sadness

It’s not better out there. All of these other people carry the same self doubt, confusion and bouts of loneliness you and I do. We are all just trying to figure it out, seeing our way through life from our own unique perspective of the world.

I write this piece as a call to action. If more of us write about how it really is, take pictures of how it really is and tell it like it really is, there would be no envy. We would see from our different perspectives, that we are all having the same experience.

My mission on Facebook is to bring a flicker of raw and gritty day to day, within this virtual train wreck of grandiosity and new age fairytale. Despite my efforts, there have been many times women have approached me and stated,

“I live vicariously through you on Facebook. Your life is so amazing.”

No. My life is real. Flawed. Cracked. Beautiful. Balanced with missteps, mistakes and good judgments.

I have worked diligently to be where I am right now, accompanied by sacrifice—a divorce from my husband, a divorce from everything I knew, making choices that took me in a direction I never expected. I have tried to reflect the truth of my life, the uncensored and uncut version in my writings, but if I am permeating a scent of idealism that others pine for, then I am doing a disservice to myself and to them. I am creating a veneer of falsehood, feeding envy along the way.

I must re-evaluate the image I am projecting into the ether of the internet. I encourage all of us to reflect on our online actions  because, behind the split second capture of an Instagram picture of posed smiles, is a story, a life’s story; A story we all know and for some reason like to avoid.

Let’s stop avoiding it and share it openly and completely. Instead of the summits of our lives, let’s share the trek too. For those who have reached the summit of  Mt. Everest, the story they tell, that they want to tell and others want to hear is of the climb itself because, that is the most important part.

Here is a portion of a Facebook status update I wrote a week ago:

Please don’t envy me because I am you, just with different features and freckly skin. 

I have some really shitty days and some really good days. I cry, I yell, I laugh.

Sometimes, I get upset and I send impulsive texts filled with nonsense to my boyfriend, that I wish I could erase before they turn green. 

There are days I feel confused, and days everything makes sense.
I have been offered some deserved opportunities over the years, a product of un-waivering discipline and hard work, but my daily life is quietly mundane; I spend most of my time with my daughters, or alone- writing and teaching at my studio. 

I have issues with my parents. I have issues. Period.
I have an obsession with pretzel m & m’s–I eat way too many of them. 

I get lonely, really lonely–I cry and then, I get over it.
I get angry, really angry–I yell or I cry and then, I get over it. 

I look in the mirror in the morning, and I hate my hair. 

Sometimes I want to throw my children out of a window because they drive me crazy when they fight.
I just finished yelling at them for not going to bed. 

When I need a break from my seriousness, I watch awful movies on my computer in my bed while eating Triscuits. 

I will go to sleep tonight at 8:30 because that’s how I roll. I don’t have a glamorous social life,
I’d rather be at home even if I had the option of being out on the scene. 

I’m a girl who found what I love, and I work really damn hard for everything I have created.

Don’t envy me. I don’t envy you, because I know we are all the same–at least that’s my perspective. 

~Rebecca Lammersen

 

~

Relephant read:

7 Strategies to Cope with Facebook Comparison Syndrome.

Relephant watch! Not all social media sites are created equal—check out Ello:

Like elephant journal on Facebook.

Ed: Kate Bartolotta

 

 


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About Rebecca Lammersen

Rebecca Lammersen is the founder of Yogalution, an intimate, boutique style yoga studio in Scottsdale, AZ. I love being alive. I love being a mother. I love teaching yoga. I love to write. I love to know. I love to not know. I love to learn. I love to listen. I love to read. I love to swim. I love to travel. I love to dance. I love to help. I love to serve. That pretty much sums me up. For daily inspirations, check out Rebecca's website. Visit her yoga studio website and peruse her articles at The Huffington Post. You can also find her on Facebook. Subscribe to Rebecca's feed and never miss a post!

Comments

104 Responses to “Please Don’t Envy Me: The Facebook Status Everyone Should Read.”

  1. Your newsfeed on Facebook sounds a lot different than mine. In mine, I see both good and bad, joy and heartbreak. What I post is the same. I actually filter myself less on Facebook than in real life. If you run into me in the store and ask how I am, I will probably say "fine". Look at my status, though, you may learn that my washing machine broke, my teen daughter is driving me crazy, I failed an exam… Social media is what YOU make of it.

  2. Ann says:

    I have to disagree with you my Facebook feed is full of joy ,sorrow ,happiness occasional political outbursts and sometimes a racist or totally inappropriate remark from my Facebook friends and yes the occasional cat video. This is REAL life !!!! If I feel insulted with someone I unfriend them and move on no one has a perfect life and as an adult I understand that. I get a lot of joy over someone's triumph over adversity ,financial success and all around great luck in overcoming any challenge as their friend its my job to be supportive and happy for them and I am. Facebook is a great communicating tool specially for us whose family is far away, good luck in all your future endeavors and have a happy life 🙂

  3. sara says:

    Facebook, like other people, is a mirror of what goes on inside the individual. It is but an inamimate object which tells you only about………….yourself. Facebook is not evil.

  4. anthony says:

    that was hard, direct but enlightening…..

  5. Tierney says:

    this is so timely.. I had just written in my journal that I need to stay off FB as much as possible as it makes me ( or I let it make me) feel like I don't measure up! Thank you for this reality check!!

  6. Ella says:

    I fully agree with you. I am wondering, though, about how we are taught not to hang our dirty laundry outside. I understand the need to show your most positive update and photograph and experience and not your worst, but there is another reason for that, too. It's not only one's friends who we come across on FB. There are those who would exploit our weaknesses and failures. I might sit in the middle of a depression, but that doesn't mean I need to show a 'crying profile' all the time. What I might show is how I am coping with it, which would be more positive. I think you can only show the REAL colour of things if you know there is total trust online. Sadly, this cannot exist outside a particular circle of friends. One could of course block everyone that one doesn't know or want to be in contact with, which is an impossibility.
    All that said, there are people who do post what they really think and feel. There are even those who admit they are considering taking their own lives. In many of those cases, they're either not taken seriously or told to 'take it like a man'. Do you wonder then that many keep that side of themselves hidden?

  7. Shelby says:

    Your point is well made, Misty. I enjoyed the article, but I also enjoyed your response to it. Both sides of the story just reiterate one main thread of life – perspective is everything, and nothing is innately and intrinsically Good, nor Bad. Everything (including Facebook and our actions on it and our reactions to it) is subjective to the whims of our own realities. Opening up a conversation like this (thanks Rebecca, for doing so) gives us a chance to talk about what really matters – PERSPECTIVE!

  8. Joy says:

    Don't feed into envy would be my suggestion to you. I have plenty of fiends that reach out on FB in times of struggle. I also have friends that are sharing their wonderful life. Sounds like your own personal journal would be a good place other than a public forum where everyone is free to express their feelings whether happy or sad, without worrying that others are going to feel lessened by it.

  9. Kayla says:

    Susan,

    I agree with you. I honestly can’t believe that people are ENVIOUS of their Facebook friends when things are going well. I am happy for them.

    I post positive updates because I have a positive view of life. Bad things might happen from time to time, but they happen for a reason and are not the end of the world. Maybe if people would be more positive in their outlooks they would have no need to be ENVIOUS of people they claim to be friends with.

  10. Rosey says:

    Beautifully said!

  11. Jamie Khoo says:

    This is phenomenal and true. I closed a Facebook account when I closed a particularly difficult chapter in my life and opened a new one, to start afresh. On it, i have cried and I have despaired and lamented ridiculous angsty things like weight-gain; but i have also celebrated and joked and contemplated things, silly and serious. Then a friend told me one day, "Yah, your Facebook page is really nice these days". I think, for whatever 'niceness' it is, it's because I'm just being me. Honesty, sincerity, you can never go wrong with those, really. Thank you for writing this – more of the world needs to hear it.

  12. 1phd says:

    Oh PLEASE, yes, don't read the news feed on FB, instead take that time and write about self absorption and validation requirements on a site/blog/journal that lets its readers PAY you for validation and self absorption. Rich in irony, Very, very rich.

  13. Amanda Sattler says:

    In response to Alicia, I have to disagree. Social media is propaganda, no matter what your privacy settings may inhibit from your eyes. To say that you control social media is to say that you are the conductor of a hurricane. The innate response our brain fosters when presented with images/words/ideas/concepts is rarely under our control! That is the success of the advertising world, our deepest insecurities–for without our response corporate America would certainly fall asunder. Facebook isn't simply a bulletin board for updates from our friends and families. It is also representing multiple networks complete with flickering images and advertisements carefully catered specifically to you, responses and images you have no control over. I think that teaching others they have control over social media is merely teaching self-deception. Control is mastering your personal values and separating fact from fiction in determining your self worth and your respect for other people.

  14. Jules says:

    I agree!

    And I also find that Facebook alerts me to some of my friends' needs for prayer in difficult times. I appreciate knowing about those trials and tribulations so that I can reach out and offer my assistance, when appropriate.

  15. Lauren McLaughlin says:

    I needed this. Great work! Thank you.

  16. Lauren Cameron says:

    I know this post is a bit old, but I actually just saw an article in the Dallas newspaper yesterday along the exact same lines.. We don't think of social media very often in this aspect but I can see how harmful it can be for others to only see the glossy, glamorous aspects of our lives when they are going through tough times. Although I think social media is a great way to connect with people in our high-wired lives, there is much slowing down we need to do in order to really know people. I had the feeling just the other day that I want to make a new friend and ask all those silly questions you ask when first getting to know someone, but now why should I ever need to do that again when I can find most of a persons interest on their facebook page… I miss getting to know people through long, silly, and sometimes serious conversations! I don't know if deleted my social media is the way to disconnect so that I can learn to reconnect, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to try? More thought and meditation over this is needed.

  17. NL says:

    I don’t tend to envy others for their posts, I know that no one that I know has a perfect life or is living each day with utter joy all of the time. However, I think that if and when our “friends” post the non-joyous we have a different reaction then relief that we are not the only ones. Those that post about their bad days are often seen as whiny, negative, venting their problems all over Facebook or looking for attention. Post too many negatives and you are that downer with all of the issues, and the reader is probably thinking, at least I’m not that sap. I recall reading a study recently, that claimed to have found the ratio of acceptable positive to negative posts before one is viewed critically by the readers.

    Of course, then there is just those mundane posts. Great, my friends have mundane lives too, but I don’t need to have my newsfeed filled with people talking about doing laundry or how long of a nap they took today. I see Facebook as a way to share that information that you used to have to call people to share. I never called my grandma to announce that I was going to the grocery store, so I don’t need to post it in Facebook. Believe it or not, despite our ever growing narcissism, no one cares.

  18. lyndzeerae27 says:

    Hi there, my name is Lindsay Brown, I write a blog called The Blogging Mama. I just read this post, and you are so right on!

    I would like to send you a link to my blog, and specifically my last post called 'Today is New' your post reminds me a lot of the things I try to write truthfully about each day.

    All and all I would like to say thank you for your writing, it is wonderful and refreshing to read.
    http://lyndzeerae27.wordpress.com/2014/01/02/toda

  19. Ryan says:

    Nobody has control of your emotions but you. Blaming Facebook for inspiring feelings of envy, and self comparison. Sounds like there are deeper issues that need to be addressed there.
    If a photo of me is takin on a beach drinking martinis with my friends having a great time I’m sorry that depresses you. I guess I should have posted a picture of my ex-girlfriend the moment we broke up or instagramed a photo of my face when a friend passed away.
    Perhaps this would lift some of these feelings.
    Nobody is perfect but this is obvious. Of course I agree that life indeed does happen between snapshots. But the accomplishments of your friends and family should be an inspiration to you. An inspiration to be the best version of yourself. Not an endless supply to fuelling a deep rooted self esteem issue or a reminder of all the things you haven’t done.
    I would use caution. This rationalization feels like a cop out to allow yourself a life of mediocracy. I agree that life imperfect and beautiful. Be careful not to sell yourself short.

  20. Zainab says:

    I see a lot of people happy reading this post..Why feel better at another person's "not so perfect life"? I don't get it? Live your own life and stop comparing everybody elses' lives! Envy is part of life but one should realize everybody obviously has their ups and downs; then you won't be so envious. Let them be happy on their good days!! They may be suffering more than you are. What is a little worse than writing articles in my perspective is posting articles that you like on your page and everyone thinks its directed at them..it's your page use it how you like within limits maybe.

  21. jennifer says:

    I do appreciate your post ,however its not rocket science, to figure that out.Of course , 99.5 % of people play their HIGHLITE REEL on social media, not the deletions , cuts , pain, and boring , mundane everyday events.

  22. This article implies we're all using FB to delude the world to a certain degree. I believe people interact on FB the way they interact in real life, meaning, if they're aiming to project a certain image on FB they're probably doing the same in real life, it's just faster and easier on FB, so it's not social media that makes anyone be a certain way, they already are that way. I'm a private person with a career in the performing arts. My personal life is personal but my career is not. I share on FB what i share on stage and screen. It's one and the same for me and it's the real me.

  23. Ash says:

    this made me feel so good. it is something i've thought about a lot myself – how essentially we all have the same issues that bombard us on our unique journeys. i've recently had a big revelation in which i abandoned envy as i realised that if i'm envious because someone is doing something i want to do, then what do i do – i just do it. unless it is something that really is not a part of my journey, in which case i just smile and be glad that they are doing it and that i have my own things in my own journey that i can concentrate on. it's actually quite motivating to see yogi's on beautiful beaches doing their latest poses that i can't do, because i think, that looks nice, i can work towards achieving that myself!! but if i see someone posting that they got chosen to travel to the moon on a unicorn, although i will initially think 'woooooow i want to do that' i can disregard any 'envy' as i realise, sure, that's nice, but it's not 'me' or part of my journey right now.

  24. Irene says:

    An honest article, that presents the truth, or partial truth, about yourself, the writer. All truth is subjective, hence partial. As such, I respect it, understand it and share it. Because I am also a "subject" (subjective) with MY own truth. I actually don't have the same experience -and opinion-about facebook. I have the same experience with life in general. You go to the hair-dresser, for example, you pick up a magazine, you can be envious of anything you find in there, the cars the perfect bodies, the shiny flowing hair. You visit New York, walking along Madison Ave. can steer you into envy overdose. Envy, jealousy, competitivenes are in our nature. If we don't have these chips in our system, like His Majesty the Dalai Lama for example, it's because we have become VERY special. Human Nature, the natural, the median, the norm, is a messyenviouseverchangingflowy blob of Humanity. And, together with all of that, we are love oriented and gregarious and comunicative beings. We revel in contact and sharing and living other people's lives as if they were our own. From this emerges the monumental success of a creation like Facebook. It feeds right into our little envious hearts, but it also feeds into our need for love and recognition and comunication. I'm not sure about our brains being wired for the cybernetic world we've created, but I'm positive that we are wired to connect to one another, to share our lives -misconstrued or not- to reach out, to comment, to like to secretly envy and be jealous and desire what someone else has.

  25. Michelle M. says:

    Great post! Envy is such a non-productive emotion, especially when it comes to social media. Positive thinking and vibrations are just as contagious as negative ones, why focus on the negative. Let’s stop measuring our success by what other people do, and strive for progress, not perfection.

  26. Reese90210 says:

    Agree!! It should be totally obvious people have both good and bad days. No one is perfect! Many people are not so calculating as to post only the positive life experiences and leave out the negative to make themselves seem problem-free…they simply do not wish to involve mass quantities of people not knowing where that information will be spread to! There is nothing wrong with that….THAT is real to me.

  27. Bethany says:

    I understand where you're coming from, my husband feels the same way – he just got a facebook last year. I don't believe people lead perfect lives because of what I see on Facebook, nor do I believe people lead perfect lives because of what I see in person. I agree with Susan Laycock. I think we represent or misrepresent in everything we do. And it's our jobs as humans to see it for what it is, and not fall into the illusion that you talk about in your article. Honestly, I feel empowered knowing that someone is having fun somewhere. That I can see beautiful humans experiencing life outside of my cubicle. It reminds me that I'm not alone, that there are people in Brazil, a coffee shop in downtown Austin, that one of my friends just drank a green juice – that sounds good. It's inspiring, empowering and helps me connect.
    I think social media can and is a positive part of our lives and it has enriched mine. So, I think there is a place for your concern and dilemma, but also social media/facebook is our world now and we have to deal with it in the best way.

  28. Bethany says:

    I agree Misty! "Learn to dance in the rain". Beautiful!

  29. Jennie Russell says:

    Facebook is what you make it, and what you allow it to be in your life. Only you have control of your technology, and how much you allow it to be a part of your life.

  30. ANM says:

    I loved this!! For a couple of reasons.

    I removed myself from Facebook a couple of years ago because of this – I couldn’t handle what I perceived as “fake friends” and “fake lives”. But with years of experience comes growth and I now see this was a product of my own negative thoughts and the place I was in! I have a couple of friends who seem to be extremely preoccupied with presenting the best face on facebook, but I can see how that in itself can be miserable. Perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect job, perfect family, perfect vacations, perfect decor in the home – and I’m serious. Not that I wish misery on anyone, but perfection doesn’t exist.

    Maybe this is a reflection of me, and I’m still trying to figure this out lol, but I cannot stomach posting personal things and personal accomplishments on such a public forum. I feel like, the only reason to do that is for acknowledgement…anything I can do in service to others doesn’t need to be publicized, and that it is, in itself, its own publicity. To try to create the semblance of perfection on a social media platform – especially when it seems that the ultimate reward is validation – is kind of sad. Love in all its forms – passion, excitement, happiness, pain, loneliness, etc. – we can learn so much from all of it. Life’s not positive all the time and from that comes the experience. Experience is always positive though, even if the feeling is not! It’s so much more productive to the world — and to ourselves individually –to acknowledge that life isn’t perfect and that’s okay! Like you said, we’re all just fish in this big pond trying to figure this thing called life out.

  31. Anandarupa says:

    THANK YOU. This piece came to me at exactly the time I needed to hear it. Thank you for sharing, namaste x

  32. Nicole says:

    Couldn't have put it better myself! Perhaps you should have a break from Facebook for a while Rebecca. Many choose to post happy news and updates over sad or personal news. It's their choice. Doing this does not necessarily mean they are pretending everything is rosy in their life. They simply choose not to talk about it. If it grates on you, simply scroll past, or get off Facebook into the real world you are seeking. All the best.

  33. maproksch says:

    um….newsflash. I don't envy you. Nor do I envy my Facebook friends. I found this article a tad condescending and sounding more like the author is the one who is projecting her own envy and narcissism on the Facebook community.

    My Facebook experience is entirely different than what is written here. I rant, rave, laugh, post pictures of my food, my horrible morning hair, my kooky excursions with friends, bad puns—anything and everything. Sometimes I am pretty funny, sometimes I just want to say hello (and when there's a blizzard going on and I think it's unwise to go out, FB comes in handy here). I have friends who post pics of their yoga poses and I am delighted (not envious). I have friends who share their losses openly and I offer support. I have friends who post pics of their children. every. single. day. And as a woman who never had children (and wanted them), I get vicarious joy from their pictures and their stories about their children. If they post a picture of some gourmet dish, that appeals to me, I ask for the recipe. I do not feel like my life is less than theirs. I do not feel like my life is superior to theirs. I have made REAL friendships–you know, the kind where you actually meet up with people in person, share a fine meal or even take a trip together—as a result of Facebook. Yes, I have made friendships out of complete strangers thanks to introductions via Facebook. I found some long lost friends and family. Let's be honest, Facebook is no substitute for real, face-to-face relationships, but I've seen some really lovely things happen here…..but then, maybe it's because of the caliber of people that I invite into my life. Perhaps you need to re-examine the people that you allow into yours, or at the very least, cull your friends list and keep only the people who are real.

  34. Phyllis says:

    Well! I agree with her point and perspective. However, Facebook has also opened up an avenue of social connection and sharing amongst family and friends who live far away that would otherwise not exist. I really don’t want to hear all of the “crying, yelling etc ” that every person experiences in their “private” life, on FB. People already share some not so appropriate images. It’s like going out to dinner or going to the park with a friend or family member. Ya don’t tell all there either. I am intelligent enough to sift through the negative feelings I have regarding others joys and happiness and jealousy and envy exist outside of FB as well. Hopefully as the “medium” of social interaction develops, we too will mature with it and use it for the tool it should be. Like writing a “letter home” only faster! Enjoy it! Don’t let the negativity of life creep in and steal your joy! Then go have lunch with a friend or watch an upbeat movie and “let it go”!

  35. Bruce Wayne says:

    Interesting how the writer had elected to designate envy with a gender “she”….Why?

    Read the article, points being made could be said of any other medium including Elephant Journal itself where your article appears. As for the last portion of your article where you shares examples of your facebook status; more power to you if you feels sharing elements of your personal life candidly is what you believe your status is for, some of us would rather keep our private lives and thoughts off social media so as not to add to the social media pollution that has exploded with the unhealthy demand for every thought and action to be aired out for all to see when there really isn’t a need for all that.

  36. cli.gs says:

    It’s truly a nice and useful piece of info. I’m happy that you simply shared this useful information
    with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thank you for sharing.

  37. ellie says:

    A bit late to reply, but I agree with you. The people who’s posts annoy me I find aren’t really my friends. I always celebrate the happy events in my real friend’s lives. For that reason, I’ve tried to cut FB down to just the bare minimum. The people who I know and love.

  38. Liga says:

    "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel." – Steven Furtick. As you said, life is what happens between those facebook snapshots! Be clear of purpose and don't get sucked in. Thanks Rebecca!

  39. Joy says:

    Envy is an emotion, and like all emotions, good or bad, it is natural. When we start tucking these feelings away rather than addressing them, we become emotional anorexics. ALL feelings are valid. When used in the right way, envy/jealousy are fantastic motivators. I personally find my best motivator to be spite. That's right, SPITE!
    Go ahead… judge. Furrow your brow. It's a fact about me in which I have no issue being honest about. Spite is my fuel. When I feel wronged, I put it into my art and try to be the best I can be. Yes, and sometimes in the faces of those people that have wronged me. Then I feel better. Trying to dissolve an feeling that is clearly there is actually an impossible (and super unhealthy) task. Address it, utilize it, allow it to make you powerful (even if it means that what made you envious was a facade on someone's facebook). I mostly disagree but worth a read. If you can improve, do so, who cares about the source of motivation!? Don't allow articles like this to shame you for your feelings.

  40. melanieimhoff says:

    I needed to see this. Today. Thank You.

  41. BoatPose says:

    I can understand why it is misguided to envy someone's life based on their online profile, but I fully relate to those who experience envy. Envy is unproductive, but I recognize that many aspects of my life are enviable. My life is far from perfect, but my job, my vacations, and my health, just to name a few, could reasonably be envied. Rather than ask others not to envy me, I try to be grateful for my opportunities, life circumstances, and, yes, privileges. If the society I live in provided equal resources and opportunities to everyone, I might ask others not to envy me. But until then, I will envy and be envied. While at the same time, trying to be gracious and grateful.

  42. carrie says:

    "The human brain was not created to function healthfully in our technologically-ravaged modern world."

    The human brain may not have been designed to originally cope with much technology (see electricity, Industrial Revolution, surviving various diseases it can now cope with, even turning to agriculture from hunting and gathering) due to the changes in society it brings but like, with everything before us, the human brain adapts. It's not rigid.

  43. Angkush says:

    Just brilliant
    Regards and love from Mauritius 🙂

  44. Paige says:

    Brillant article.

  45. Jaye says:

    I agree and I disagree; it all depends on the person posting. I have found great comfort from friends, all sorts of friends, when I have experienced tragedy. I have appreciated the thoughts and prayers from friends when my dad had open-heart surgery. Facebook is like anything; it's what you make of it and whatever you want to take from it. Bottom line (and I think the writer makes this point) it's our choice.

  46. thecraftaholic says:

    I agree with you 100%

  47. sheri b. says:

    Thank you! 🙂

  48. Theja says:

    This is something that I have been thinking about FB. Why do people always portray themselves as having a ball ? And post mostly positive things from their life? I know of some who take special photos just to post on FB. thank you for your thought provoking article. loved it.

  49. Jen says:

    I personally don’t want to read a bunch of negative complaining on fb. I am well aware that everyone is suffering to some degree. I feel my roll on fb is to be uplifting and supportive, as I feel in real life. My close personal friends know my struggles; letting fb know them would be unproductive and wallowing.

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