April 9, 2013

Are You Living in Your Heart?

Depending on our state of mind, we may find some things “hard to do”—our ego has a way of disrupting the heart’s intentions.

When we are living in our heart, many statements and actions are clear. We are living authentically, true to ourselves.

Often, we allow what is going on outside of us to dictate what we feel inside of us—and if it isn’t “good,” we tend to limit ourselves. Our range of emotion is stifled, as is our more positive aspirations.

When the shit hits the fan, we may subvert into bomb shelter mentality and stay there even after the “all clear signal” has been made. Why? Because we don’t trust that we’re walking on solid ground—we’re waiting for the next disaster to come, instead of foraging into our garden of possibilities!

When we have given our power away to another, how hard is it to get our power back, let go of the anger at ourselves and the person, stand in the truth of our heart without blame and forgive.

Yup, that can feel like a huge mountain to climb, especially if we have a big inner critic, kicking us and telling us how stupid we were or what a fool to have engaged.

Never really a fool or stupid, we do a lot of things out of our conditioning and look for others subconsciously who support it, positive or negative. We need them to remind us of how much we don’t love or value ourselves, until we become aware and change the cycle.

We can, but it is hard to do

Just like forgiving someone and ourselves, that anger has to go somewhere.

And it’s turned inward and outward, simultaneously. Outwards when we mistreat others, punish them, belittle them, demolish them so we feel better (and that is impossible). Or turn it inwards and abuse ourselves, become depressed, full of anxiety, immobilized…keeping joy out of our domain.

It’s a pattern of action/reaction—it is all about the ego and not about your heart. Your heart is always there wanting you to do the loving gesture toward yourself and another. Most of us are not out to purposely destroy others, unless we feel destroyed inside.

What else is hard to do in this context?

Following our heart.

Where are our dreams? On the other side of all of the excuses and emotional trauma and drama that keeps us stuck; stuck in the anger inwardly and outwardly of why things haven’t worked out or in not trusting ourselves or this world to be safe or keep us from feeling disappointment.

We build castles around our hearts to keep disappointment out. It doesn’t work, and we’re surprised by it…it is part of being human. Accepting it makes it “less hard to do,” when we take a risk toward our dreams.

When something is emotionally hard to do, no matter the context, there are ways to go through it…cuz as we all know the only way out is through!

1. Get real with yourself, your feelings.

Not what someone did or didn’t do to or for you. Not how you failed at it a million times before. Not am I good enough or smart enough. Nope. Get into that voice inside of your heart, which wants your creative soul to live large! What does it say amidst all the chatter from your brain? Listen. Just hear it, repeat it out loud. It is your truth!

2. Make friends with your truth.

That’s right—now that your soul has spoken, understand that this is the meaning your life has for you. It has nothing to do with the past or other people. It is for you. If you want a real, joyful, healthy relationship in love, be that real, joyful, healthy person. If you want to own a business, paint, volunteer, dance or whatever in your heart. Do it.

3. Beating up must stop.

Stop. Really. The voice in your head, which tells you that you suck…tell it to shut up. It doesn’t know what it is talking about, because it is not really you. It is a “you” which has been conditioned to say these things. When you hear those voices, don’t allow them to dictate your mood, food or life.

4. Ease into your risk.

Sure, jump off a cliff, but you may want to plan a bit first…like have a parachute or water below. Start small. Buy a paintbrush, arrange some flowers, get out of your house and meet people—or at the very least, get into nature, eat in a different restaurant or write a business plan. Whatever signals for you that you are taking a risk and moving out of “hard to do,” and moving into freedom to go after your dream…is easing, step by step forth.


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Ed: Bryonie Wise


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