Grace Amongst the Wreckage.

Via Jenn Grosso
on Apr 9, 2013
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“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” ~ Virginia Woolf

I find myself contemplating on grace these days, what it means to live life gracefully, to tackle our life’s challenges with grace. I’m interpreting grace as being in contact with the inner part of us that knows peace and vulnerability. Grace as I see it is being in touch with universal love and with our minds firmly rooted in living in the moment, the complete opposite of living through our egos.

To have grace or this peace that is alluded to, doesn’t mean that we don’t have conflict or challenges. It’s quite the opposite really. Conflict will always arise whether it is from inside of us or on the outside. To live with grace is to embrace life’s ups and downs and to be fully present in experiencing the whole scale of emotions but to know that these do not define us.

I think we can all agree that this is one of those “easier said than done” deals.

I do not at all understand the mystery of grace—only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us. ~ Anne Lamott

As I reflect on how I deal with difficult situations or emotions, grace isn’t one of the words I would consistently use to describe my coping skills. Sometimes in the midst of a shit show kind of a day, I think to myself, “Damn girl, you’re a mess.” Anxiety and fear can paralyze and bring out the worst in us, let’s just say it isn’t pretty. It’s when we identify with our worries and fears that they begin to have power over us, that the ego steps in and morphs our perception. Here we can forget about what we do have, all that we can be grateful for, and instead focus on all that is lacking in ourselves and our lives.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.” ~ Frank Herbert

Photo: Pinterest
Photo: Pinterest

However, the beautiful thing about grace is that even when we fail (sometimes miserably) we can pick ourselves up and try again. We have the opportunity to try again every day; every waking moment presents us with a chance to practice living more gracefully.

There are helpers on the road to living with more grace; they are the practices that allow us to come in touch with ourselves, the ones that chip away at the ego. Whether it be hitting the yoga mat, a meditation practice, a hobby we enjoy doing or any creative outlet. Entering this sacred time for oneself helps to push away all the thoughts and feelings that don’t serve or benefit us. Here I try to the best of my abilities to release what hinders my contact with peace and grace. Carrying this into the rest of my day and hopefully into the more challenging times. And here lies the true practice. Staying connected to grace instead of freaking out. Sometimes I’m successful and sometimes it’s a total shit show.

I try and try again.

When we’re at our worst, faltering and failing completely, when it’s easier to come down on ourselves, those are the moments that we need to show ourselves more than ever that love and compassion. The whole breaking down part can be part of grace, that’s us being vulnerable. The turning point is the choice we have between letting this overpower us or picking up the pieces and choosing to love ourselves instead, to step away from our ego and show ourselves compassion while smiling at the fleeting nature of it all. That’s grace.

“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” ~ Alan Cohen

Photo: Facebook
Photo: Facebook

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Ed: Kate Bartolotta


About Jenn Grosso

Jenn Grosso hails from a far and distant land impervious to the mundane and the conventional. Her eclectic interests always begin with an overwhelming curiosity, which catapults her into fanatical investigations and explorations. A lover of all creative mediums, she focuses most of her time on writing, painting/mixed media, yoga, meditation and picture taking. Jenn holds BAs in Psychology and Comparative Religion. She continuously thrives on furthering her understanding of the mind-body-spirit connection. With a penchant for all things beautifully extraordinary, Jenn recognizes the importance of honoring her shadow self, which in turn, creates a healthy respect for what lingers in its dark corners. Shamelessly wearing her heart on her sleeve, Jenn can typically be found with a book in hand, mala around her neck, and skipping to the beat of her own drum. Connect with Jenn on Facebook and Twitter


12 Responses to “Grace Amongst the Wreckage.”

  1. Loved this! Thank you Jenn!

  2. @Jenn_Lui says:

    Thank you Chris! And for your comment, it means a lot! xox

  3. irishcait02 says:

    My new years resolution was to live with more grace. Thanks for the reminder!!

  4. @Jenn_Lui says:

    That's a beautiful new years resolution! Happy that my post was able to be a reminder on your journey. All the best!

  5. Brian says:

    As you say difficult to do but that doesn't mean I can't try. Thankyou.

  6. @Jenn_Lui says:

    Yes, it's all in the trying. I truly believe that in just trying to live with more grace, that we end up there. Thank you Brian.

  7. charles says:

    you confuse me with your use of "ego" in a pejoritive sense especially when you go on to say we need to accept all of our self. wouldn't a phrase like evolving self be more consistent with your essay's thought. the same is true for "do not define us." aren't they part of our definition of our self in the moment? the crux of my confusion comes when you wrote "picking up the pieces and choosing to love ourselves instead, to step away from our ego ". isn't your ego part of your self?

  8. @Jenn_Lui says:

    I'm referring to the ego here as not being necessarily part of our core self, i guess seeing it from the perspective that while yes we all do have an ego, that it does not define us and make us who we are. That the ego can actually hold us back from evolving our self. We all have worries and emotions, however (for example) in meditation practice we seek to let these go and understand that they do not make us who we are. On my own journey, I work on breaking down the "I" that my ego tries to tell me I am and come from a place free of that judgement. This is of course my own interpretation of all this.

    Thanks for your comment Charles, and I do like your rephrasing of self to evolving self.

  9. Shirley says:

    Thanks for sharing your lovely insights!

  10. @Jenn_Lui says:

    Thank you Shirley for reading and for your comment, it's appreciated! Much love!

  11. Chris Lemig says:

    I think this aspect of grace is very similar to the Buddhist idea of living with "skillful means". It's seeing what's going on in our lives and in our minds and working with it all without freaking out. When we see that everything's so impermanent, just kind of floating through our lives, we have the chance to just let things be how they are.

    Thanks for writing and sharing!

  12. @Jenn_Lui says:

    Yes! Exactly Chris! This post was inspired in part by my meditation practice of sitting and simply observing my emotions and worries float by me, and wanting to bring this into my daily life. This all reminds me of a Thich Nhat Hanh quote about watching our feelings float by like clouds in the sky.

    Thank YOU for reading and your comment, it's much appreciated! Big love!