The Perfect Woman.

Via Waylon Lewis
on Jun 13, 2013
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I give you, Tina Fey:

“But I think the first real change in women’s body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty.

Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them.

And then, what felt like moments later, boom—Beyoncé brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful.

Ah ha ha. No. I’m totally messing with you.

All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful.

Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits.

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”

PS: unrelated, really, but Terry Richardson is scum.

A mindful diet doesn’t include dieting:

Forget Everything…& Remember This.


About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. | His first book, Things I would like to do with You, is now available.


11 Responses to “The Perfect Woman.”

  1. karen says:

    a lesbian gym owner…

    didn't realise your sexuality helped you get ripped abs


  2. Guest says:

    … that's the only thing you've gotten from this?

  3. Druscilla says:

    but are you a gym owner?

  4. Caro says:

    I <3 Tina Fey! Thought this sounded familiar before I saw who the quote was from!

  5. alinusya aka Thinking Creature says:

    Kind of true, except for a Russian involvement (believe me, i am Russian myself) 🙂

  6. Guest says:

    Referring to the amazing body of Jillian Michaels who is lesbian and a mega star in women's fitness.

  7. CMT says:

    I think Tina Fey forgot about Baby Got Back? That happened a long time before JLo.

  8. Zain says:

    The perfect woman, for me is the true old fashioned woman, who loves her man, for who he is, never make him leave the house, hungry or horny, as I’m an old fashioned man, I will shower her with love and romance. One thing “some” women, lost now is being a feminine, few when they create their own family, and know what is like, to provide and share.

  9. Soph says:

    Pretty funny….but nine year old boy hips…not sure that would work so well.

  10. Joyce says:

    hahah… awesome!

  11. Trin says:

    hehehe funny as tragedy can be when shone in the right