Feel Awesome (Without Changing a Single Thing in Your Life). ~ Lana Shlafer

Via Lana Shlafer
on Jul 25, 2013
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Photo: Megan Sachs mommyshots.com
Photo: Megan Sachs mommyshots.com

There are times when I forget how incredible I am. Like when I have a disagreement with my partner, raise my voice and then feel terrible about it.

Or when I get frustrated with the mess my twins make and turn into an overwhelmed, depleted, frustrated meanie-of-a-mother who sternly says “Go clean that up right now!” The terrified look in my kids’ eyes reminds me that there must be a better way to handle the situation.

I have collected many techniques and practices over the years to bring myself back to feeling good about who I am. It matters more to me to love myself than to be right, effective, successful or just about anything else.

One of the most frequent tools that I use to return to personal alignment after I exhibit some of my “shadow” tendencies is a game called “Why I’m awesome!”

First, some background. I received the following email a few days ago:

“Your story is amazingly inspirational and, hands down, the best birth story I have ever read. Ever. I never even knew twins could take that long in between births and I am a doula! Absolutely incredible, the focus and patience you had for them. Just incredible. They should teach your story in med school. You are the definition of a woman. Wow.”

I frequently receive emails like this from those that have read our birth story. Almost every time, I go back and read what I wrote after the births almost three years ago. Sometimes it feels like someone else wrote it.

I wonder: who was this intuitive, powerful, patient person who trusted so completely?

Sometimes I forget just how amazing I am. Does that ever happen to you?

Trick question. You’re human. 

Of course it does.

For the last two years, I have been saving emails, hand-written notes and cards, even text messages that express gratitude or appreciation for who I am and the things I’ve done. When I go through a time when I feel unsuccessful, defeated or incapable, I break open what I call my accomplishades (accomplishments + accolades) folder and allow myself to re-receive the love others have shared with me. And little by little, I begin to thaw out the awesomeness in me.

In a mastermind group that I’m a part of, we sometimes do a fun exercise: simply talking for a minute or two on the topic of “Why I’m awesome!” At first it’s a little weird to sit there and boast about myself. I usually start slowly, remembering and sharing with the group the successes that I recently experienced with my clients and children. Then the momentum begins building and, before you know it, I am full-on gushing about just how incredible I am!

I can’t tell you how exhilarating and empowering it feels to recognize myself for the awesome me I am meant to be. (So awesome that I rhyme spontaneously!)

So here is a recipe for the “Why I’m Awesome” Empowerment Tool:

1. Begin collecting compliments, praise and accolades by either writing them down somewhere or keeping them as mementos. Looking through these will be a sure-fire way to negate a negative story about yourself when you feel low. You can’t feel like a failure and read about the amazing successes you’ve had at the same time. Let the feeling of the incredible things you’ve already accomplished embrace you as a warm blanket of self-worth.

2. Find a friend or a group of friends and propose taking turns speaking about “Why I’m awesome!” You can do this in person, on the phone, through text messages or email. You could even record it on your phone or voice recorder to listen to later. Friends that praise together, exponentially soar together!

3. And if keeping a list of accomplishades or screaming from the roof-tops about how awesome you are is not your thing, then just take a few moments right now (yes, now!) to think of the amazing qualities that make you you and how you’ve been successful this week. Bask in this knowing of your innate goodness and then resume whatever you are doing. But beware—you have just stepped into a new phase of your life where praising yourself is going to become addictive, and your life will begin to reflect back to you just how fabulous you are!

I would love to read about how marvelous you are in the comments below (the perfect opportunity to practice this empowerment tool!) and would be super-happy if you shared this post with others who would like to remember how freakin’ phenomenal they are!


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Ed: Dejah Beauchamp & Brianna Bemel


About Lana Shlafer

Lana Shlafer dances every chance she gets: in the middle of a queue in the grocery store, on the mat, at the playground with her kids…she dances through life to her own drum beat and has one hell of a time! Wanna dance with her? Find Lana in a yoga class, somatic life coaching sessions or a Mastermind group. She is the founder of Haelan Yoga and Coaching, a unique approach to helping clients heal, feel whole, and achieve their dreams. To learn more visit her website and connect with her on Facebook.


18 Responses to “Feel Awesome (Without Changing a Single Thing in Your Life). ~ Lana Shlafer”

  1. Isis Arjeta says:

    I am awesome because I listen to my intuition even when my rational mind is screaming! I am a fantastic healer and hypnotherapist, and I teach phenomenal Reiki classes! I am awesome at encouraging others, I smile all the time, and I’m not afraid to dive in headfirst… whether it’s into a new situation or off a waterfall! I am ridiculously creative at problem solving, and I am extremely skilled at crying it out! I give myself permission to lay on the beach reading poetry in the afternoon. And apparently I really love talking about how amazing I am! It feels so good! Thanks Lana!

  2. Terri says:

    Love it… Awesome resonates with gratitude and is an ascending emotion! Nice work Lana!

  3. Carolina Fernandez says:

    Cool, I like it. Ok to kick off the comments about how awesome we all inherently are…. I try my best not to hurt others, I am a good listener and can make some excellent guacamole!

  4. Oh my goodness, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now. I've just finished hosting my first ever yoga retreat, it was a huge success! But instead of celebrating that I've been focusing on how I can do the next event bigger, better, brighter. Now I'm going to take a second a revel in the awesomeness of what I created and the awesome amount of time, energy, thoughtfulness, and work I put into creating that event AND the AWESOME women who were a part of it. Thanks for sharing this "Why I'm awesome" idea. I'm definitely going to be saying I'm awesome more. 😉 Plus I'm going to share this with everyone I know!

  5. Lana Shlafer says:

    Oooh, I love how you are loving up on yourself, Isis! And yes, talking about how amazing you are does feel amazing!

  6. Lana says:

    Thanks Terri!

  7. Lana Shlafer says:

    I think excellent guacamole making is surely a sign of awesomeness! And being attentive and loving to others too, of course!

  8. Lana Shlafer says:

    Elyse, I love how you jumped on the awesomeness bus! Maybe I should have included a disclaimer that it will be impossible to get off once you know how good it feels to recognize your magnificence!

    Please share the article and the exercise and if you want more Empowerment Tools, sign up for my (almost) weekly love notes on http://www.lanashlafer.com! Many blessings to you!

  9. good artical for me. thank you.

  10. Sonja Keller says:

    Hey Lana, I loved your post! A bit of love and self-compassion goes a long way to creating more awesomeness in life 🙂

  11. Love the tips you shared. I think what makes me awesome is how my courage inspires others. 🙂 Thanks for the great article.

  12. Lana Shlafer says:

    Thank you Aluminyum!

  13. Lana says:

    Yes, Sonja!

  14. Lana says:

    You're welcome Aimelie. It's wonderful to inspire yourself and then recognize that it can also inspire others!

  15. Diane Mayo says:

    Wonderful! Love this!

  16. Lana Shlafer says:

    Thank you Diane!

  17. Jessica says:

    Congrats on this article Lana! I don't think I've ever acknowledged to myself, and especially on paper, how awesome I truly am… aside from educational accomplishments and workplace accolades of course. I'm awesome because I have a tender heart. I'm awesome because despite what I've been through, I work every day to unveil my wounds, work towards awakening my core self, and have compassion for others. I'm awesome because whenever I see another human being, I have a gift to see past presentation, and into core, and interact with them on an authentic level, because every human being is good. And I'm awesome for charging ahead to fulfill all of my dreams, while maintaining an element of groundedness, that I know will help support me on my journey. Thank you Lana for giving me an opportunity to acknowledge myself, in the spirit of self-celebration, rather than perceived narcissism. Keep rocking and rollin! I'm here cheering you on 🙂

  18. Lana Shlafer says:

    Love to see you celebrating yourself, Jessica!!!