“Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere; and sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.” ~ Unknown

This summarizes yoga for me. Every ounce of me unravels and strengthens as I discover tightness where I thought I was loose. Fatigue where I thought I was rested. Sadness where I thought I couldn’t cry anymore.

Yoga cleanses like a summer swim in moonlight.

Obstacles present themselves for a reason. It’s been a few months since I’ve taken a yoga class. I took a mini hiatus from the classroom setting. My wings were damaged in a tumultuous storm but new feathers have grown in and I set sail once more.

“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Last week, I bravely set my inner GPS and found myself cruising along a winding, narrow road. It led me to quiet spot. I crave quiet. The obstacles that led me there were necessary because I am ready for a new challenge.

I stand on my mat as sun salutations warm my heart.

The rectangular space becomes multidimensional as I lean left and right. Self-conscious that I tilt down I nudge myself to lift up and let go. My heart is slightly exposed. My stretch seems immense until a slight adjustment is made and I let myself reach a bit higher into a microcosmic moment of self-love and forgiveness.

I naturally tilt inward and yoga asks me to release outwardly as each layer of self is sunned in a compassionate way. I stay with the movements and listen as feelings surface.

The sun flickers across the room and sweat begins to blanket my skin.

I breathe into the pause. I close my eyes to the sounds of anxiety and worry. I hear the chanting music and gently twist my body to a new flow.

It hurts.

More accurately, I hurt. The scars of my soul touch the fear I imagine and hold.

Yoga finds the shadows beneath my facades.

I turn out my hands and lift from my sternum. My shoulder blades slide down to my heels. I feel a release and stay with my inner sun as it embraces my strengthening moon.

My mind, body and soul punctuate the stream of dust particles. I step into the energy, the room is a vessel and my body is too.

I am integrating and regenerating. I hear the breathing breaths of spiritual others. We share the space in a form of parallel movement. Our mats outline a sacred zone. There’s harmony in the disharmony as our legs extend to various degrees. We caress our minds as birds sing through the chatter and stillness is embraced.

“Silence is not silent. Silence speaks. It speaks most eloquently. Silence is not still. Silence leads. It leads most perfectly.”  ~ Sri Chinmoy

Our bodies unfold and fold as we press into the corners of our creases…exquisitely breathing in rhythm.

We let go of judgment of what is and what isn’t; because it just is.

The windows are open and the stream of life bubbles by the crescendo of our pulse. I’m lifted higher by the energy and feel an urge to break free; I spontaneously dance in my heart.

“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair…” ~ Susan Polis Schutz

We settle in slowly to our final resting place. Letting go further, a gift of death and rebirth as we recalibrate our nerves and let our muscles twitch in peace.

My third eye winks recognition of completion as I surrender to the yoga that lives within me.

 

 

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Ed: B. Bemel