August 25, 2013

I’m Insane (& Other Details I Want My Kids to Know About Me). ~ Tawny Sanabria

Did we start out slightly insane, or did be become slightly insane?

Regardless, we moms know it. We can be driven to the brink of insanity in the blink of an eye. I hear so often from my teenagers, “Mom, now don’t get crazy, but…” So, they know of my slight insanity and I think that’s okay, because it keeps them on their toes a bit.

They know about my fierce protectiveness and that mother’s instinct we all have, too. They know I have eyes in the back of my head and that I can read their minds. Or so they think.

But, as my teenagers are moving closer and closer to adulthood, I am thinking more and more about what I want them to know about me. What I want them to know about me as a person, outside of just being their “crazy” mom.

As we enter adulthood, we begin to see our parents as “people,” not just as Mom and Dad. People with flaws, challenges and the wrong answers. People who have lives outside of their roles at home—people just like them who are trying to navigate this world in the best way they know how.

With that—here is what I want my kids to know.

They propel me.

They make be better, stronger, and more capable. They motivate me. I want to get outside my comfort zone for them—to be an example for them. I hope that as they move me, I move them.

I’m funny and I like my sense of humor.

They make me laugh. I make them laugh. We laugh at our quirks, the dogs, their dad—you name it. I try to not take myself too seriously, or them for that matter, and my jokes are hilarious, even though they tell me differently. I embarrass them a bit, sometimes, I think. But isn’t that a perk of the job?

I’m fiercely loyal.

My support and loyalty for those I love is unending. I believe in staying committed to your words and not giving up on others. Loyalty from others feels good—it’s strengthening and an important reminder that we are never alone.

I believe in standing up for what is right.

If not my responsibility, than who’s, right? This mindset would change the world. If we all did our part in small ways to stand up for fairness and equality, what a world this would be.

Compassion and love is most important in this life.

This is what truly matters and what gets us through many of life’s challenges and difficulties. Being able to be with others in the hard times creates turning points for them and ourselves. It creates moments of strength and resiliency, love and trust, and belief that we are not alone.

The yin yang of flexibility and strength is essential.

I love yoga and CrossFit. I love Country music and I love Zumba music. I love silence and I love chaos. I love deciding what to be steadfast about and what to let go. We need a balance of flexibility and strength in our thoughts, mind and bodies.

I believe in them and their generation.

My kids, just like your kids, have unlimited potential. I believe in their capabilities and I will continue to let them know that. I will hold this belief even when they do not believe in themselves. When they are ready to hold their own belief in themselves, it is then that I will hand it over.

I am a great listener.

They know that they can tell me anything, although I do not expect them to tell me everything. Their mistakes, bad choices and worries, included. Frankly, I am actually surprised at what they do tell me.

I value their opinions and beliefs and I want to hear about them.

I absolutely love to hear the opinions of young people, my kids included. I love the passion around their ideas, even if they are not based in reality or even when that have not given their ideas much thought. Their creativity can be contagious and the excitement they exude is refreshing. My hope for the younger generations outweighs my fears for them.

I believe we have a responsibility to do what we can to make this world a better place.

Equality and fairness for all is important. The environment, clean food, clean air, cultural histories, quality education and all the rest are important and essential. If we all did a little, we can absolutely make this place wonderful.

I love their dad.

And I have for over 20 years. And their dad loves me. Even when times have been tough, and real life got in the way of love and passion. We worked. It has not been easy, but we worked and we continue to have patience with each other. My niece was out visiting this summer, and she commented a few times that it was “so weird that you guys are still together. I don’t see that ever.” Witnessing working lasting love in action is good for all of us. Knowing that, given the ebbs and flows, love can still live strong offers hope in relationships.

I am a positive thinker.

No matter what happens, I search for the “silver lining.” Typically, my glass is half full—except for the brief moments here and there that I find myself in the “poor me” of the glass half empty. However, I refuse to stay there long, as there is nothing exceptional in that, and I love exceptionality.

I am not perfect.

And, boy do I know it. I make mistakes—I find myself disappointed in myself sometimes. But, what I do is regroup and challenge myself again. I cut myself some slack, let myself feel what I feel about it, and then I move on when I’m ready. I move forward forgiving myself, others, and ask for forgiveness when it’s needed. I do not need them to be perfect, either. Actually, I’d rather they not be.

I challenge myself with things that do not come natural for me.

I work hard. I do not choose the easy road. I learn and grow, and I know I am better for it. But, so many of the things I choose to do are outside of my comfort zone. Almost to the point where sometimes I wonder what in the heck I’m even doing. “Why can’t I choose the easy road, at least sometimes,” I ask myself. It’s just doubt that is rearing its ugly head, so I press on, knowing that my learning and growing is a process. I despise doubt.

As we walk through life, we are all, consciously and unconsciously, learning about ourselves, deciding who we want to be and what we want to experience.

I want my kids to know that it’s important be conscious about this. To be mindful. To live with awareness. To know who you are. To choose who you want to be and live in that expression.


Like elephant family on Facebook

Ed: Bryonie Wise

(Photo: via Pinterest)



Leave a Thoughtful Comment

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Tawny Sanabria