November 9, 2013

5 Tips on Navigating Family Polarities. ~ Star Stone

You are a 20-something new paradigm, Jedi wizard and your parents are 60-something- baby boomers living in the current societal framework.

Coming home for a visit is like compacting your 6-D astral body and maneuvering it to a 3-D pain body.

Your expansion is quite unique and parents might not know how to respond. And sure, you are out of your own element, too. They flush the toilets and the house has a TV and a microwave and they use them, both. Sometimes simultaneously. (EMF’s!?) Perhaps you have shared your magical life with them, only to find out that they have no context for what you speak of and often times they end up on the defensive—perpetuating a deep fear concept.

When you speak of Love and Oneness, they think you are brainwashed or have joined a cult, to which you ask… “What is the name of the cult? And who is our leader?”

They ask if you are on drugs, need to see a therapist or when you will stop “traveling around” and get a “real job”. But what if you could shift the family polarity? What if you could discover the universalities between you and bridge the generation gap?

Tips on Navigating Family Polarities

1. Do not try to change your parents!

You are not responsible for your mother or father’s health, happiness, or well-being. They are. So sharing your superhuman lifestyle is helpful only when the intention is not about change. Bring your way of life to them.

For example, make raw cacao brownies and offer. Stash healthy alternatives in the kitchen and leave more than enough so that dad finds his way to the raw hummus and carrots. Bring Dr. Bronners to the kitchen. Live by example.

2. Love them for who they are, now.

If your mom is drinking Smart Balance, eating corn-fed cow meat, snacks on GMO candies, is Wal-Mart passionate, and avoids the outdoors and you are a vegan who sleeps outside and brings back bones and feathers that you’ve found to place on your altar… well…no, calling her a muggle is not helpful. (Especially when she picks up the feathers and says “Gross, it is that a real, dead bird?”)

Simply love her for where she is in her soul’s journey, without judgment. Have compassion. Where she is today, may not be where she is two years from now. Drop your expectations and open your heart.

3. Practice Ho’ponopono.

“I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” Live by the wisdom of the ancient Hawaiian practice of Ho’ponopono. Be willing to forgive them and yourself again and again!

They are doing the best they can, seriously. Each human does the best he or she can in every given moment, given the tools they have.

Parents parent based on their own upbringing, influenced by faulty cultural norms. Now is the time to forgive our parents. If you blame them for your misfortunes, your mis-opportunity, or your unhappiness, you are missing the wisdom and the gift.

4. The art of non-reaction.

My parents operate on fear. We have discussed the idea that “fear is not real” and much like telling a child that fairies are not real, the conversation ended in pure unwillingness to believe. Disclaimer: Fairies are real!

I decided that instead of putting down their way of thinking. I could simply practice non-reaction – remaining neutral to fear stories and worries. Let breath guide you and invite them join.

5. Stay in your practice.

During your visit, meditation and yoga is key. Your equanimity will ripple out to your family. And remember, though you may bend extensively to meet them in their way of thinking, know that yes, they are doing the same for you.

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Assistant Editor: Zenna James/Editor: Bryonie Wise

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