- Along with your daily meals, you start, continue and end the day with Facebook. Not to mention regular snacking.
- A great deal of your anecdotes begin with “I saw this thing on Facebook the other day.”
- You miss phone calls and may not answer the door, but can always be relied upon to never leave the house with an unread comment.
- Your house is a mess and you can’t find the time to get dressed or get to the shops. However, you’ve read all your notifications, accepted a new friend request, posted happy birthday on the relevant walls and replied to all Facebook messages. You might have even shared a Causes cause.
- You start to mix up what actually happened in your life and what you saw on your newsfeed.
- You talk about someone you appear to know in great detail, but answer the “Do you know her well?” question with, “only really through Facebook.”
- You take a day or two off from signing in and find yourself fantasizing about all the updates and messages you will return to, only to be underwhelmed by actuality.
- You take a picture of your preschooler, who then asks “is that on Facebook?”
- You turn your laptop on, determined to pay the rent sans distraction, yet here you are back to where you left off on yesterday’s Facebook newsfeed.
- If knowing as many details about your ex’s new life had been discovered by any other means, you’d have been imprisoned by now for stalking.
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Assistant Editor: Karen Cygnarowicz / Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Flickr / Paul Walsh