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January 3, 2014

Apple, I Think We Need to Talk: I Want to See Other People. ~ Andrew Paciocco {Adult}

I’m sorry Apple, my love is not unconditional.

First, before anyone gets the idea I’m writing this from an Android-loving Apple-hating standpoint let me note that I’ve had every incarnation of iPhone including the original, the day it was released. I’ve owned multiple iBook/MacBooks and would have one now if I could have stomached the price tag last time I needed a new laptop.

I love Apple. I have always loved Apple. Apple’s innovations have shaped the technology world as we see it. Period. That said, Apple appears to be through.

Let’s start with something more commonly known that we Apple lovers have let slide for years. Their factories.

Any company that has to install “suicide nets” is likely not running a very loving and compassionate operation. Per an article earlier this year 18 people have committed suicide in the factory this report is centered on. The average pay is $1.83 an hour.

We all know most major companies employ these tactics so it’s not a surprise and we live with it to get our technology. Other technology giants have parts made in this same factory. While this ought to be more troubling for the most part even the most mindful of us have accepted this type of slavery and suffering as either necessary or outside of the realm for change.

We let it go and purchase what we desire. Of course, let’s not pretend other smart phones or electronics are made from sustainably grown bamboo and hemp; it’s all part of the same machine. But can’t say no to everything can we? I need a smart phone; I’m stuck on level 320 of Candy Crush!

Apple, I used to applaud your innovation, your design and your ability to make a product that could not be mimicked (at least not before you had another new version to outdo the last). It’s no mystery that Android has devoured the market share for smart phones. Their 80% chunk is misleading though, until the 5c Apple never even attempted to create a “cheaper” version of their phones and the original version never even allowed contract discounts or insurance.

Android has many cheaper options with less functionality that make up a good portion of their 80%, just saying. Regardless, Apple is not the highest rated phone anymore. Consumer Reports notes in every carrier the Samsung S4 as the best. For AT&T (my carrier) the iPhone 5 is ranked number 6. With Verizon it’s ranked number 5 in the 2014 buyers guide.

What the fuck? Apple, I love you, but what are you doing? Where are your priorities?

Oh, priorities? Well, last week I saw this article Apple, Microsoft Join Forces to Impede Progress. Well that can’t be right, not my Apple. They are the leaders in progress right? What are they doing with those Microsoft clowns? This must be an article written by one of those “Apple haters”.

Allow me to provide a Cliff Notes version of the situation. Apple and Microsoft have created a shell company and bought 6,000 patents from another technology company (Nortel) for the price of 4.5 billion dollars.

That’s right, I didn’t mistype: 4.5 billion dollars. (How much R&D can you do with $4.5 billion?)

What they are doing is hiring a team to systematically reverse engineer all Android products, see what patents they now own that Android has infringed on and then sue the shit out of them.

What could that accomplish that’s positive for anyone besides Apple and their investors? Nothing. So Apple has decided innovation is too hard or tedious? Their thought process has become “Let’s stop or slow down the competition, take their money since we can’t make a better phone than them and we’ll fuck consumers who want new technology.” Sounds like a plan, a plan to lose quite a few customers. That is, if the story gets out.

Apple, I stuck with you through the slave labor, I’ve paid exorbitant prices for your accessories even though every time your power cords fray at the connectors almost immediately. I’ve got Otter Box cases. I’ve got at least seven 4s and older cables I have no use for and of course bought several extra 5 cables. I have your special docking station that hooks up to my receiver and surround sound at home.

I’ve pretty much molded my technical life around your needs and requirements. For the type of dedication I expect to be impressed and wooed. Granted expectations get us in trouble so perhaps I should phrase it, “For that dedication I require to be impressed and wooed or I will devote my dedication elsewhere.”

I like iOS7, it was one of the only positive improvements I’ve seen since my iPhone 4. I don’t think it’s enough. I don’t think I want to support companies who hold their competition down rather than see their competition as a challenge to improve and innovate.

You’ve changed. You’re not who I fell in love with in 2007. Even your new friends are creeping me out a bit.

Apple does have new friends. Perhaps not intentionally but they are present none the less. The Koch brothers, they are nice guys eh? Do you want to pay them when you buy your next iPhone? You will be. Let’s be fair

Molex, the company the Koch brothers recently bought (in September), makes thousands of parts for thousands for companies. (“..it’s a rare moment when any American is more than 10 feet from a Molex product.” Per this article).

In my not very thorough three minute Google search I didn’t find specific other companies their connectors are used in currently. Perhaps you’re not very familiar with the Koch brothers. I was going to attempt to describe them or find a website that did but it’s hard to put into only a few words.

The main word to come to my mind repeatedly is “evil”.

I’d suggest if you’re curious to do some Googling and decide for yourself. To be fair this really isn’t Apple’s fault and it alone isn’t even a justifiable complaint, more just an addition to a long list of things I personally don’t like. After all, we’ve all had that friend who we don’t want to hang out with as much because their new bestie is a dick and you don’t find your time with them as enjoyable as it once was.

Well, Apple, your new bestie is a dick.

He’s friends with a lot of people in your circle, so it was only a matter of time. Don’t worry; I don’t have any desire to change you or your company, your views or your ideals. You are what you are, I can only change myself.

So once I’ve worn out my current iPhone I think we’ll be parting ways. It’s not a sad goodbye but the excitement of a new beginning elsewhere. It’s been a great six years for the most part and your customer service was impeccable the two times I needed replacement phones. Siri, I don’t use you much but you’ve been kind and overall, pretty helpful.

Apple, perhaps a change of heart is in your future and our paths will cross again one day. Nothing is ever set in stone and I love surprises, if you come around one day I’ll be here hopelessly addicted to the newest and best that technology has to offer me.

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Assistant Editor: Melissa Petty/Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Elephant Journal Archives

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