Have we had enough?
How much longer are we going to play the victim, the one to whom life is just happening so unfortunately, because we are not lucky, not this or that enough? Because these were just the cards we were dealt with?
Before weeping into another pillow, let’s stop.
Stop with the stories, stop with playing the victim.
Stop looking for acceptance.
Stop comparing and contrasting our life stories.
Stop looking for approval from the places that it doesn’t come from.
“But I want!” we say. Stop wanting. Stop collecting knowledge.
Life is experience. Put your knowledge to experience. Anchor yourself in clarity.
There was a time when I couldn’t stop. I was shaken like a tree, endlessly crying on the kitchen floor completely wallowed up in the story of poor me.
Then one day a dear friend asked me, “Have you had enough yet?” This question slapped me awake and I noticed a part of me finding some sort of comfort in the rawness of suffering.
That part of me needed some ass-kicking.
“You are not experiencing suffering; you are suffering your experiences.”
I knew I had to break up with my stories of self-victimization and start experiencing life as it is, not as my mind projected it. When I tried to find the sufferer, I couldn’t find her. All I found was resistance to what is and a constant flow of the same thoughts that were playing on repeat—let’s call them trash.
The trash had to be taken out. Dumped and burned once and for all. The bigger the trash was, the more it reeked from self-pity, craving and blaming. So I stopped. These are steps I took:
- Replaced the trash talk with high frequency positive thoughts of gratitude for small things, like a roof over my head, food in my belly and waking up in the morning.
- Prayed to see the situation differently, because I had enough.
- Chose a different meaning—a meaning that many would be baffled by. It transformed my story, and turned that pain into one of my biggest blessings to date.
- Stopped avoiding pain, and instead welcomed all feelings that came up and let them flow through me.
- Focused on making the connections that feed me (my heart & soul) stronger instead of seeking approval from the ones that didn’t.
- Stopped wanting for things to be different and stopped trying to be happy all the time.
We are the stories and thoughts we create and believe into existence.
What poisonous stories did you believe into existence? Are they true?
For them to be true, we need to believe in them. The truth doesn’t need any believing. I’ve heard people talk about traumatic events with such grace and positivity because they have managed to change the meanings and symbols of the stories.
It takes practice to change the meaning of a story you have been telling yourself for decades, but as for the new ones:
Take responsibility for what feelings and meanings you create for your future self.
This, at least, we must do.
Not letting go for the sake of letting go. Letting go because we are a vessel for experiences that will keep happening whether we like them or not. Give up control and non-acceptance and see things as they are.
There may be dark energies lurking around our lives, and if that’s the case we are in control of to what extent they harm us! We are not victims. We have attracted certain experiences for our growth, and as architects of our lives we can change their meaning and come from a space of gratitude. As we build by the power of thought, so will our outward circumstances shape accordingly.
As for those whom we blame for our suffering: It was never about them. It was/is about us. What have we learned? Who can benefit from our lesson?
When we share ourselves with the world, our stories take on new meanings once again, and this time they are not judged as good or bad, terrible or amazing, light or dark. It’s a story.
Let’s respect each others’ paths with the knowing that we are all doing what we know, and we have no control over where others may or may not be on their path.
The only path we have control over is ours, so let’s stop trying to filter the experiences. There is no sign-up sheet for them. Your meaning makes the story come alive.
And remember, when someone is harming, they are causing so much more harm and hurt for themselves—because of that, let’s send them love and forgiveness.
May all those who can’t accept me and have hurt me find peace within themselves.
May all those who have harmed me forgive themselves as I forgive them.
May all those who caused me pain experience love that dissolves the darkness, which lifts the clouds off the beautiful world that could only be experienced now.
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Apprentice Editor: Hannah Harris /Editor: Travis May