June 5, 2014

My Love, Be Happy. ~ Andy Charrington


Dear future lover of my love,

You have been entrusted with the care of a soul so special, so unique that it is important you understand the honor given to you and the responsibility you now have.

Listen carefully for my biggest regret is that I did not.

Before you love her, give her truth. Your truth is more important to her than your love.

Let her be still. Give her space but be there to hold her close when she needs you to.

Leave the tea bag in her tea longer than you think is needed. Better still, let her take it out when she’s ready.

Touch every freckle on her body. Tell her how beautiful they are and how they remind you of the stars.

Recognize your own problems as your own. Never push them on to her. That she will take them does not mean you should.

Do not hold her too close. You will find that the more you let her go, the closer she will be when she comes back.

Love yourself first. Take pride in your mind and your body. This, she will find most attractive.

Never look at her with lust. She is a treasure too rare to be treated as an object.

Love her with your body. But do not let your body rule your heart.

Touch her. Caress her without intention or expectation. Touch her simply because she is the most beautiful thing you will ever touch.

Watch her eyes. They will fizz when she is happy and grow large and round when she is sad.

Respect her point of view. She is no more wrong or right than you. However, stand up for what you believe.

She will love you more for being yourself.

Do not try to guard her from the pains of life. Simply be there in the middle of it with her.

See the world through her eyes. I promise it will be more beautiful than you could possibly imagine.

Abandon all you thought about love and learn it from her. She will teach you more than you could ever know.

Walk. Show her trees and sunsets and flowers and cliffs. You will witness her entire being lit up by the wonders of the earth. 

Revel in her happiness. Never be jealous of it.

Watch her. She is a magician.

Let her come to you. The gift of receiving such a wonder is beyond what you would get by approaching her.

Support her dreams. If she has chosen you, you are part of those dreams.

Sleep as close as you can to her. Hold her and wake up holding her tighter.

Do not date her. Rather show her how the hills and sky want to romance you both.

Present yourself fully and strongly.

You are the person she loves, not what you think she wants you to be.

Love her brother. He is as precious as her.

Be kind to her dog. That dog has done more for her than you know.

Encourage her friendships. Love her friends as she does. But do so with trust and kindness.

Put sun cream on her ears. She forgets to put it there.

Let her run if she needs to run. Trying to prevent that will only increase her desire to escape.

Notice the small things. They are big to her.

Photo: Max Barners via Flickr

Learn how to poach an egg. She really likes poached eggs.

Buy extra hair bands and lighters. She loses these frequently.

Encourage her to write and run. And always remember to charge the camera.

Buy a yoga mat. Sun salutations with her at your side will show you the universe.

Show her the stars. Hold her and point out the constellations.

Let her read your horoscope. And listen when she reads you hers.

Treat her mother with respect and love. Because the magic is passed on from her.

Get up early and watch the sun rise together. There is never a good enough reason to let it rise without her.

Drive slowly and avoid motorways. Remember she is a child of the forest.

Find the unicorns. They are there if you will see them.

Soak in every moment with her. You will never truly understand the privilege of those times unless you pay her all your attention.

Laugh with her. But she hates jokes.

Get to know her dad. He is as present now as ever.

Bring her coffee in the morning. Better still, bring her a cuddle and stillness.

Look in to her eyes. There you will be most intimate.

Treat her. But make sure she can treat you back.

Call her out. Your intuition is one of the reasons she loves you.

Be proud to hold her hand. Never forget the honor of spending just one minute with her.

Go slow. But go fast when it feels right.

Be spontaneous. And encourage her to be spontaneous with you.

Listen to her sing. If she’s singing around you, she feels safe.

Write to her. But only if what you’re writing is the truth.

Drink smoothies with her. And use coconut rice milk.

See beauty in the mess. And be proud that it’s you that gets to pick up her tights.

Laugh at people together. We are all quite ridiculous.

Don’t ask what you don’t need to know. She is as she is right now.

Be gentle with her past. Nudge it back to the past when she makes it the present.

Protect her heart. One so loving and open is susceptible to pain.

Photo: Patrik Jones via flickr

Show her dolphins. But never go to an aquarium.

Take her to the beach. Take pictures of your feet in the sand and swim in the sea—no matter how cold it is.

Cook her vegetables. Broccoli and soy sauce is her favorite.

Let her show you the woods. And never compare your experience to another.

Go to the beach on the lake. There are magical memories and special people there.

Get good at finding owls. They are there if you see the signs.

She is wild and raw. Remember that when listening to her responses.

Treat her heart with gentleness but don’t be scared to speak out when she doesn’t do the same. Just do so with love.

Notice her beauty. First thing in the morning, as she eats, after she showers, at the end of the day and while she sleeps.

Tell her how wonderful her body is. She sometimes forgets this.

Point out the ways in which she is kind. She forgets this too.

Go to bed early. With her.

She likes wine. But her body doesn’t.

Never swat a fly. Treat it as you should her.

Bring her water with her coffee. She doesn’t always drink enough water.

Wash the teaspoons. After every cup of tea.

Buy kitchen roll and disinfectant. But read the labels. Because she will.

Eat Chinese curry instead of Indian curry. And get Chinese chips.

Look at her lips. They are incredibly beautiful.

Notice the ways in which she is not symmetrical. Those are the most wonderful parts.

Joke with her. Even better, joke with her family.

Tell her how great her ass is. Because it is.

Listen to her silence. She is saying more than you hear.

Try to see past the goddess in her. She is as human as you at times.

Take her off the pedestal. She does not want to be there.

Want her. Don’t need her.

Let her want you. But don’t make her need you.

Set her free. Light her up. Make her dance. But don’t actually make her dance. She won’t like that.

Reevaluate your idea of intimacy. Hers is much better.

Trust her. Because you can.

Talk with her. Your mind is probably more seductive than your body.

I am not your enemy and you are not mine, although I may think of you so at times. You have what I wanted but could not have. You have the opportunity to spend your life with a woman so precious, so unique, so wonderfully beautifully sensual. Never forget that privilege.

Treat her well. Love her kindly and with gentleness. But remember me.

Remember there was once a man who tried and failed to capture her heart.

A man who will live thinking of you and what you now have. And who will live with a sadness and regret that he did not learn the things he now knows sooner.

I do not wish these regrets on you. Or her. If you love her a fraction of how I loved her, you are my brother. And you are entrusted with the care of something that neither you nor anyone else will ever own. Remember that.

Enjoy her.

Let her enjoy you.

Enjoy the world together.

Find the magic in life. And if magic evades you, ask her to show it to you. Better still, just look in to her eyes. Entire universes exist in there.

With a heavy heart I wish you well.

My love, be happy. That’s all I ever wanted for you.

Be yourself.

Unless you can be a unicorn. Then be a unicorn.


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Apprentice Editor: Kim Haas / Editor: Travis May

Photo: Simeon VonBerg via Pixoto / Max Barners via Flickr / Patrik Jones via Flickr



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