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June 24, 2014

What a Knot in My Back Taught Me about Life. ~ Bri Dwight

shirtless back

This is a story about a knot.

A knot?

A knot.

I have had a knot in my back for years. This not so little knot feeds off of my unwillingness release all that it represents.

Sure, I would get massages but I would unconsciously (or sometimes consciously) shield this knot with shallow breathing, tense muscles and a whole set of self destructive beliefs.

Although I would make the external efforts of releasing this little devil, I was not doing the internal work which has allowed the knot to expand it’s empire. Lately, positive opportunities have been presenting themselves left and right.

In an effort to make more space for these opportunities, I’ve decided that this would be a good time to say goodbye to the knot and all beliefs that come with it.

I made an appointment for a Thai massage and headed to the beach for a swim prior to my appointment. I stood at the waters edge and the chilly water came up to my knees. A little girl named Tuscany swam over to me and gave me some green sea glass. She lifted the goggles off her blue eyes and looked at me with confusion, “Are you coming in or staying out? Because if you’re half in half out… you’re going to be miserable!” she said.

I smiled at the miniature mermaid and jumped into the healing waters.

This little girl inspired me through my whole massage. I would ask myself, “Am I half in right now?” and then adjust my body, breath or thoughts accordingly. I allowed myself to completely dive into the healing available to me.
The release happened when I acknowledged that the knot wasn’t sticking around because it was clinging to me… It was sticking around because I was clinging to it!

The longer I held tight to that knot, the longer I got be right…right about being a victim, right about being overworked, right about missed opportunities and never being or having enough.

In a world filled with expectations, judgments and repetitive wounding it is easy to continue to paralyze ourselves from unfolding into the beings that we truly are. Often times it has been easier to raise a fist and curse the world for the painful experiences that have been presented.”Men are jerks! My boss will never appreciate me! My friends are never there when I need them!”

This list goes on and on as we continue to be “right” about the tough cards we think that we have been dealt.

However, the truth is that we have been unconsciously (or sometimes consciously) choosing the lovers, bosses and friends that continue to validate the self destructive beliefs that we cling to. Although being “right” provides its own temporary satisfaction, it also provides a false sense of security and blinds us to the invitation this life holds.

This is the time to step out of the box, let go of being right and begin to consciously co-create a life you love.

Healing begins from within. All the massages, shamans, yoga classes, teacher trainings, therapy and all other external healing support is useless without an internal willingness to go to the root and heal from within.

Just for today, I encourage you to dive into your pain.

By diving into the discomfort we dive into the healing.

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Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Unfurled at Flickr 

 

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Bri Dwight