It’s my belief that there is a simple cure for drama: recognizing the immediacy and urgency of life now.
I have yet to meet any one who wants to live with the ups and downs of drama. No one has said to me that they want drama. Usually people want a calmer life, with understanding and loving people. Why is that so elusive?
Drama is not started with others. It begins within.
The greatest irony about people who do not want drama is that they talk about how they hate drama. The ones who avoid drama have, in my own experience, been the greatest perpetrators. When I hear someone bashing drama and dramatic people, I immediately observe the person who is speaking. Or, in my own case, writing.
Yes. To be honest, I create drama. I try not to, but it happens. What I’ve learned as a result of making drama is how to identify the source of it.
And with all integrity, drama starts inside. People who have drama with others are inevitably acting out the drama going on inside their own selves. Internal drama can happen for many reasons; most commonly it is a dialogue that has judgment, blame, shame or criticism involved. Have you ever seen positive drama? Most drama is identified as negative, destructive and debilitating.
Since drama does not start with other people, it is within one’s sphere of influence.
I have the ability to address my drama. And when doing so, the people in my life and the world at large is not dramatic. My tool for doing this is simple.
I honor the life given to me by recognizing its finality.
One day, I will die. How I fill the days, minutes and seconds of my life are my choice. What I bring to other people and the world is my choice. This responsibility is for me to own, to act on, to have gratitude for and to surrender. And what do I surrender?
The sources of my internal drama and mental dialogue. The belief that things should be other than as they are. That people are or are not being in a way I wish they would be. That the world would be other than as it is. It is within my power to adjust my perspective, mind, heart and spirit to be in alignment with what is really happening rather than fighting against it.
The struggle created by drama is a literal drain on life.
The time used in gossiping, fighting and resolving drama can literally be put to better use. Those precious seconds, minutes, hours, and days will never be regained. Once gone, it remains gone. There is no go back and do-over option.
To remove toxic people from one’s own life demands first being a non-toxic person.
I have been that toxic person. I still am at times. I have yet to meet somebody who isn’t at some point in their life. And while I can remove myself from other toxic people, it does nothing and is not self-loving to be toxic within myself. No, I can’t stand feeling negative. I judge myself for it, and that creates drama. I end up wanting to feel differently.
And through this process, I awaken to see the power inherent within.
The choice to live life in anyway envisioned.
As my guru has said over and over again, “Do not eliminate the button pusher. Eliminate the button.”
I try my best to get to the cause of the problems within, and make the effort to do so without self-judgment, blame, shame and guilt. I fail at this in new, exciting ways, and adjust again and again. At times, I create drama and lash out. And suffer the consequences for it.
If I have created drama with you, please forgive me. It isn’t you.
It’s the struggle within myself, escaping through the cracks.
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Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Sydney Agee/Flickr