0.2
July 30, 2014

How to Get Through Hard Times: A Short Manual. ~ Anna Suvorova

bad day

Caution: “mature” language ahead! 

There are times in life when we feel down, when we are no longer sure where we are heading.

It seems like we have lost direction, the light has stopped shining upon us. We can feel trapped and confused.

We look around and see that everyone else is doing great, but us. “Why? What is wrong with me?“

Some of us are too shy and too embarrassed to ask for help, and so we dwell in the dark, cooking in our own ‘mind soup,’ believing it all.

“I really fucked it up this time.”

Everything seems to be falling apart and we feel like lost kids, left all alone, no guidance, no direction, and no manual on ‘How to go through shitty times’.

No one seems to understand what we are going through. No one knows, no one gets it, everyone is too busy dealing with their own stuff. And those who do find the time to listen to our crying will not get it anyway as it can be nearly impossible to put in words how broken and how lost we feel.

Sound familiar?

Yes? We are the members of the same club then, and that is a great thing.

I have been to that place so many times that I stopped taking it seriously. It is like “Oh, another learning curve. I see! Let’s get straight to the point.” I guess I will go there as many times as needed for my stubborn self to finally get the lesson.

I am the type that learns from experience. I look in the mirror at times and say “Not very bright, are you?”

(I am just trying to make you smile, here. In reality I do love my preciously weird self—and a part of this love is being able to laugh at myself too.)

There is no need to suffer more than is necessary. So next time when we feel down, remember that there was this funny piece written by this strange girl—a member of ‘Self-Re-Start’ club—and we’ll read through it and, hopefully, feel better.

Let’s cover two important subjects here and approach them from the yogic point of view:

1. Why on Earth do we suffer so much?

2. What to do when we do?

Why do we suffer?

It is through our suffering, through our pain that we rise above our human-mindedness and our cute, arrogant selves—creatures often obsessed with self-importance and emotional comfort.

We think we are the center of the world and we should be happy all the time.

If it was up to us, it would be super-duper-great-going all the time. That would be refreshing and awesome. We don’t want to suffer, we don’t want to feel pain in places we didn’t know we had.

We avoid suffering and pain so much that sometimes we avoid living all together.

Is that any way to live?

Imagine, each morning some higher voice speaks to us all and says: “Who wants to suffer today, darlings? Raise your hand!”

Hmm. Let us think…no one!

A good question to meditate on: how will we ever learn the meaning of life voluntarily?

Let us be honest here—We are not (really) enlightened. No one wants to suffer—okay, maybe a few heroic people for some great cause.

And perhaps we will find a few heroes.

But most of us? If we just could move through life with no troubles, no obstacles, no challenges, happy-go-lucky, eating crap (pardon my Russian!), not paying attention to what is or other people’s needs or the state of the world around us, then why would we bother to make any effort?

Why change, why pay attention, why learn? I am happy as I am!

I doubt we would get anywhere with an attitude like that. So we must embrace those special times of learning when we are down. It might seem like a shitty time, but in the bigger picture, it is a blessing in disguise.

It is an open invitation to grow, to change, to become a better version of ourselves. Sooner or later we will see it.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/spiritual_marketplace/3002445263/in/photolist-5zjjnD-c3nYPj-bGQqL4-5xJhsp-dNjJa-2HvCkT-5u2Q4m-aE1Snt-4vkMYx-5kVYta-6T77FW-4AC2ds-nc2NkV-bBnpP-cGmjRw-7ouq-4Zuf6o-7tM1BS-bBnsQ-5Gam8p-bVs6qe-8udUFS-5VP2g-47EizW-6opZug-7YVMEn-fiCmo-9BTqNg-h8WN15-eaPjC8-5FHpCs-6LFemg-8irGHp-6jAUES-dsnxup-6opRTn-6ou4iw-5gzns7-dbe9e5-5Shf91-5zfvKt-89KQFt-91dnvh-4CFBwF-5GgF8S-5Nqt3Q-5FQYci-8921Xf-7SVRL8-85ECUd

We are humans. The only way we learn is through suffering. We wake up through it. We shed illusions. We get to see what is real and what is not. Someone once said “Disillusion is a painful process.” I could not agree more.

The sooner we embrace this, the better it is for us.

I tell you this; if I had not been so sick, that I could hardly move or breathe; if I had not been so broken and challenged, that I wanted to die; if I had not been so lost in the dark and despair that I thought it was the end of my life as I know it…I would have never learned anything of real value in this life. I would have never gotten to see what I am made of.

It is those times that made me a believer in great stuff.

It is those times that turned my face towards the light and faith.

It is those times that made me a compassionate and loving human being.

It is those times that made me meet and fall in love with the most important person in my life—me!

So, why do we suffer?

Because we are being polished, like diamonds! We are diamonds in progress. We will get through this. One day we will look back at this stage of our lives and we will smile at how exciting, how deeply meaningful the journey is, how great that it is that we are who we are….and just how awesome we are.

We will love ourselves, respect and value ourselves. And we all know where that kind of vibe leads.

What do we do now?

Acceptance is the key to moving forward.

  • Take a deep breath and tell yourself “It is okayto be where I am. I am alive. I am learning. I am in progress.”
  • Accept ourselves as we are. Surrender to what is. It is what it is. Stop fighting it.
  • Help ourselves to get out of our minds. Go to nature! Take a barefoot walk in the woods or on the beach.
  • Call a dear friend who cares (We all have them, if not, rather than beating ourselves up for being such an ass, let’s start making them now!) We can share our hearts with someone we trust. Have courage to be honest. Be authentic. Ability to be authentic is the only way to experience perfection for a human being. If we dare to be authentic, we are perfect. Remember? We are diamonds in progress!
  • Start doing something that makes us feel good about ourselves, at least one thing. If we lack motivation and feel like we have no energy left to fight for our light any longer…know this—one tiny change is all it takes to create a difference, to make a shift in how we feel right now. We are the only one who knows what that small thing is and where it is. Find it! Pull it out and press the “Self-Re-Start” button.
  • Drink plenty of healthy liquids (not cold)! Good water, yogi tea or a favorite tea.
  • Spend time with “me”. Listen. Learn. Let ourselves happen.
  • Make an effort to make the best out of this special time. I know it sounds weird, but the truth is:

Things change all the time. We are all changing all the time. We are fluid; we are walking breathing clouds of liquid light. And this very moment, this day, this breath that we take right now will never be repeated…they are not words. Once gone, they are gone forever. This part of your journey will be over soon, it will change and transform into another form, another experience. Be a wise cookie. Make the best out of it. Life is always right!

Much love from one member of the ’Self-Re-Start’ club to another. We are one!

Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!

          Apprentice Editor: Brenna Fischer / Editor: Renée Picard

          Photo: Roger Price/Flickr Creative Commons and Eddi Van W Flickr CC

Leave a Thoughtful Comment
X

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Anna Suvorova