August 14, 2014

Rituals of Online Daters. ~ Robert Pistor {Poem}

Author's Own- Robert Pistor

My most impressive moves used to be somersaults and splits

Now I can swipe left without moving my wrist.

I’ve gotten quicker and quicker, my motion perfected

But please don’t feel as though you’ve been rejected.

There’ve been thousands before you so you won’t feel alienation

And please don’t ask why, there’s plenty of explanations.


Maybe your smile was crooked or your eyes a bit too close.

Possibly your butt was too flat or that bump on your nose.

Perhaps it was the fillers in your teeth I saw in the photo of you laughing

Or the way your boobs looked lopsided in that photo of you rafting.

It could have been that shot with your niece, who wasn’t that adorable.

What if you have the same genes of your sibling? That would be deplorable.


How about that Halloween outfit, you call that a sexy devil?

Or the way you looked after that Tough Mudder, all dirty and disheveled.

That shot on the beach? I zoomed in on your feet and saw that old bunion

And your knees looked knobby in those shorts when you hiked up in Runyon.


See, I can’t be fooled by your filtered photos and high-tech deceptions.

They are no match for a swift-swipe and my steadfast dissections.

This is the formula to find my perfection, no need to read your “about me” section.


Besides this is my generation’s way to find someone suitable.

Older folks think we’ve become distracted but that’s just refutable.

Wait, who is that other girl in your picture? She is quite beautiful.




Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!



Apprentice Editor: Brandie Smith / Editor: Emma Ruffin

Photo: Author’s own

Leave a Thoughtful Comment

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Robert Pistor