Dearest,

You’re on my mind, what else is new?  

I’d like nothing more than to explore the feelings I have been harboring for you. You’re the person I look forward to seeing all week long. The one whose face floods into my mind before dreams take over. And when my eyelashes flutter open each morning, they see you.

We’ve created quite a flame around us. I can feel the heat burn into my bones as you enter the room. The intensity stings into my skin when your crystal eyes look into mine. The aching temptation to be closer to you never ceases its power.

Steel, blue eyes that light me up inside—I cannot break free from their stare. Their softness captivates and then imprisons my heart. You keep eye on me when my back is turned, noticing how my body gently moves when the music takes me.

You see how much I love to laugh.  

You see my sentiment for the quests and tribulations that others endure.

You watch my cheeks drown in redness when you smile at me. Your smug smile overwhelms your face as you watch me stumble over my words. Like a window to my heart, you can see the frenzy of desire you ignite.

The silent beckoning between our bodies is a raging noise.

Somehow, I find comfort in it. Peace absorbs into the billion cells inside of me as I feel you near, almost as if my soul knows something that my mind hasn’t yet figured out.

I want to be the reason for your smile.

I yearn to be the story embedded behind your clumsily revealing eyes. I want to hold your heart in my hands, and graciously give you mine in return. Fuel this fire, make these flames soar. Warmth and passion will carry this love to heights beyond our imagination.

Give me love, light up the sky.

Here we are, reconnecting after days of distance. The gaze between our eyes is steady, and the thick air between them pulls me into you once again. Doubt and fear swim through my veins—I can’t stand to be a passing fancy of yours.

Past disappointment has already painted our canvas black. There’s no more room for color or light. You stole the brightness away, as if it was never mine to begin with.

And I am baffled. Because inside of me, live stars. They are bright and glowing through the depths of my heart. Each star holds a secret your eyes have whispered and that’s what keeps them sparkling inside of my soul.

Dearest, don’t encourage me to let this go because your heart has grown weary. Free the burdens of your soul and walk with me in the light. I can’t stand alone as my heart continues its surrender to you. I never gave it permission to fall in the first place!

This entire affair has defied all of my logic, yet I feel nothing but the stillness that remains when you are near.

In effort to erase your memory, I sit in silence and imagine climbing into my mind. Once inside, I collect every conversation we’ve shared, every fantasy my mind has indulged in, every dream my soul has escaped into and every notion that I belong with you.

I put all of these into a bag and dispose of it.

Then I travel down to the spaces surrounding my heart. Memories are much more challenging to grasp here, especially with intentions to destroy them. The need for strength cultivates a deeper breath, which operates like a broom.

With every inhale, I imagine gathering you.

With every exhale, I sweep you away.

I sweep away every encounter. Every word your eyes have screamed at me. Every time you’ve stood as close to me as possible without touching.

Space is created for someone new. Thanks be to my wiser self who maintains the utmost faith that I am destined for more and for better.

Until then, I lay in bed on another lonesome night.

Behind heavy eyes, the war to forget you begins.

Morning’s liberation is a moon away.

 

Love elephant and want to go steady?

Sign up for our (curated) daily and weekly newsletters!

 

Apprentice Editor: Kim Haas / Editor: Travis May

Photo: Anil Kumar via Flickr