September 18, 2014

Holding The Blue Ball—Being Connected To Our Personal Power. ~ Rachael Donovan


Recently a friend gave me a very poignant and visual metaphor that can help us remain centred and connected to our personal truth.

And it goes something like this.

Deep within all of us there is a blue ball of energy. It sits inside our belly and is our center of truth.

This blue ball is our personal power, our inner energy, our strength.

It is also known as our higher consciousness or personal truth.

The metaphor of the blue ball is especially helpful as it can be used as a visual aid to see if we are connected to ourselves.

Whereas the terms higher consciousness or personal truth are more ethereal, being able to visualize our own blue ball makes it much easier to see whether it is currently laying within us or if we have given it away.

Obviously we can’t see this blue ball but we can certainly feel it. We know it’s there when we feel centred, connected and peaceful.

When we feel depleted, unbalanced, unworthy and anxious then it’s clear that we have given it away to something or someone else.

The trouble is that a lot of people, especially women, give away their blue ball.

We give it to our partner, our boss, our friends or to society.

Every time we care about our reputation more than our truth we give it away.

Every time we wait for a man’s or woman’s approval we give it away.

Every time we expect someone else to make us feel good we give it away.

Women are especially vulnerable to giving away their blue ball as they are socialised and conditioned to put the needs of others before their own—to be peace makers and care givers.

There is nothing inherently wrong with doing any of these things but the motivation is clearly important.

When we become peace makers, in order to feel worthy, or care givers in order to feel important or put other’s needs before our own—in order to win back love and affection at a later date–then we are giving away our blue ball.

We become uncentered, weak and powerless.

Frequently we don’t even know that we are giving our blue ball away.

We are stuck in the unconscious habit of looking outside ourselves for love, respect or approval. Often without even realizing it.

And this endless chase leaves us feeling empty, depleted and unsatisfied.

Even if we temporarily get what we want in the guise of external love, recognition or kindness—it is always impermanent and therefore can never truly satisfy our inner craving.

All of these things cause endless problems in our daily lives.

We are disempowering ourselves and becoming victims.

By giving away our blue ball we are giving away our personal power.

And we are creating this situation all by ourselves—no one else is doing it to us. But the good news is that even though we are creating the problem, we also have all the power to fix it.

The only way we can solve this problem and satisfy our deep inner desires is to step off the endless cycle of chasing, craving and wanting external things to fill us up, to make us happy, to make us feel whole, worthy and loveable.

We have to hold onto our own blue ball, our higher consciousness and inner truth.

By holding onto our own blue ball we are connected to the deep wisdom and love that is ever present and flowing within us.

It is within us when we can recover from rejection and deep down still feel inherently loveable and desirable.

It shines forth when we follow our own deepest calling, despite what our partner, family, friends or society may say.

We feel it in our core when we no longer tolerate situations or people that insult or offend the core of who we are.

And we feel it pervasively when we can react to life with love and openness, where we no longer have to hide, shut down or control to feel safe.

We can simply be who we really are, as our real, open, raw, vulnerable and perfectly imperfect selves.

We must re-learn how to hold onto our blue ball.

This means speaking from our own truth, remaining centered, being strong, self reliant and filled with self-love.

Because it is only within our own selves that we can become empowered.

It’s not up to anyone else to liberate us—not men, not society, not the media—no one.

If we want to be empowered, if we want to be equal, if we want to be loved then its up to us to hold onto our blue ball and give ourselves the gift of love.


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Apprentice Editor: Brandie Smith/Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

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Rachael Donovan