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September 12, 2014

The Feeling of Never Enough. ~ Danny Maman

poor self-image insecurity animation

I am writing this in regards to personal self-image.

When I think of my life path, I love putting myself in situations of considerable discomfort to allow for growth and change, and I will continue to do this as my life progresses as I believe life is all about growth and overcoming challenges.

I truly believe that when we constantly choose comfort over discomfort, we are doing ourselves a huge disfavor in regards to our overall quality of life and happiness, whatever that means to you. Ideally, one would be able to be okay with how he or she is in that moment while still wanting to challenge his or herself to grow, change and evolve. However, I find that this is difficult. I often feel like I want to change in spite of myself. I find that I want to change because I am often not okay with who I am and believe I have to change to be happy.

No matter how many people have complimented me or told me how attractive I am or praised me as an individual or let me know how intelligent they think I am, it is still hard to shed the poor self-image/self-concept I have of myself.

I feel like this will be a life-long struggle.

Throughout my life, when someone has been disinterested in me, whether that be a stranger on the street, a longtime friend or a potential romantic partner, I tend to blame myself for being inadequate and forget that my egocentric view of the world is false and that, although I tend to think that I am the center of the universe, I do not play the sole role in the opinions of others.

I find it difficult to maintain a positive self-concept in the face of an unfavorable response, or what I perceive to be unfavorable, because sometimes I immerse myself with such self-doubt that I totally misread a situation.

I do believe that this will be a source of conflict throughout my life as I attempt to love and appreciate myself more. It does make sense, however. I only understand myself through the eyes of others. The only way that we develop ideas about ourselves—such as fat, skinny, smart, stupid, fast, slow, strong, emotional, ugly, etc.—is because of what our environment expresses to us.

Thus, it makes sense that we (I am saying “we” because I know I am not alone with this one) really take it to heart when others talk negatively about us. It takes a certain degree of arrogance and self-centeredness to think highly of one’s self even when facing criticism.

At least I think it does.

To put a positive spin on this message, I believe that this awareness can lead to empathy and awareness in regards to how we speak to and treat others. Our words can be very impactful and have a lifelong impact on other individuals. Although sticks and stones can break our bones, our words often run deeper and leave a more gaping wound than most stones.

This is also a message to love and accept ourselves more and to realize that we don’t constantly need approval from others.

We tend to get so busy in our lives and in the lives of others that we forget to love ourselves. This is to being selfish and loving ourselves so that we can spread that love to others. Sending peace and positive vibes.

 

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Apprentice Editor: Jamie Khoo/Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Author’s own

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