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September 30, 2014

Who Am I Without an Awesome Business Card? (How to Find Our Truth.) ~ Leah Fortner

Photo: Dustin Ground via Flickr

Warning: Naughty language ahead!

The spiritual path has some relatively common pursuits, from the Law of Attraction to the Power of Now.

But, one of the trickier ones, at least for me, was that enormous pressure to “Find your Truth.”

We are an accumulation, if you will, of all that we have been created by and influenced by to this very moment.

Truthfully, so much of this is false.

We practice beliefs we are taught.

We live out judgments that were never ours.

We participate in patterns that have been handed down from long before us.

We are overwhelmingly subject to the current memes of our society.

We are basically the believed projection of everything our mind has concluded along the way, bullshit or not.

Yet, somehow beneath all that, we are taught that there is this “golden truth” of who we really are. And when we ponder this “Who am I really? What is under all this crap piled on along the way?” it can turn into a serious mindfuck.

So, naturally, we set out to peel away the layers—one, after the other, after the other. Some layers come right off, while others take years of dedication and emotional turmoil. We work at the process relentlessly.

We hold onto to the idea that one day after some deep layer is removed, there it will be—shinning within us like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Angels will serenade us because that sacred moment of discovering our “truth” has finally arrived.

As if this monstrosity of an endeavor wasn’t enough, we still have to maintain status quo and play our role within the circles of our life—work, social, family and personal.

So to get this straight, here I am searching for my truth and I somehow have to find a (temporary?) label of exactly “what I do” and “who I am” in order to remain a participant in society. What a battle this is!

Because really, who am I without an awesome business card?

After some time, the idea of “finding my truth” began to feel so elusive, like an intangible and unattainable metaphysical mission.

I begged, “Please, give me the answer! Show me my truth. I need a label, a title.” I wanted the perfect answer to “What do you do?” An answer of awesomeness that was the expression of my truth!

It wasn’t coming.

Then, recently, the beauty of conscious evolution kicked in. I experienced that shift of mind and way of thinking you can feel so deeply, it is as if a dense weight is lifted from you.

Clarity is so light. It feels like a sunny day is showing itself through the storms of your inner being.

This was my clarity; the secret to “finding my truth”:

Throw find out the window! Truth is not an object you will ever find. If you go searching for it, the search will never end.

Truth is within, in every moment and always. It is attainable with or without the layers.

Truth was not my job title or my hidden talents.

It was not what I listed on my business card.

Truth was not going to be found in my mind as I searched for solutions fitting to who I thought I was.

My truth is whatever inspired me in any given moment; it is communication from my heart.

It has the freedom of continuous change.

It is not subject to logic.

My truth will dance within me forever; I do not have to do anything.

It will surprise me and yet comfort me at the same time.

And as long as I allow it the cage-less domain to birth itself fearlessly into my reality, it will guide me always.

There it was, my bare naked truth; not in my mind, not at some destination, not hidden under some layer.

No label. No beginning. No end. 

Just Truth.

If I didn’t know any better myself, I would venture to say that here, within this truth, is the marriage between our physical human form and soul, our light form.

So, take a deep breath, quiet your mind and listen to the song your heart is singing. It is writing your truth in every moment and the messages can be as simple as turn off the TV and go outside.

Honor these messages of heartfelt truth as often as possible and surrender needing to know beyond this moment. The rest will play itself out. 

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Apprentice Editor: Kim Haas / Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Dustin Ground via Flickr

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Leah Fortner