December 14, 2014

Make Him Roar: 10 Things that Turn Men On.

Some of mens’ deepest needs in their relationships are for approval, respect, to know that they are appreciated and that ultimately, to know they are our superheroes. Read on below to find out what really turns him on.

When a man’s needs are met, they are automatically inspired to try harder, become better partners and aim for higher levels of success, not only within their intimate relationships, but in all other areas of life too.

To understand and achieve this, we must accept that men and women are a little different.

Women can be slightly more emotional and sway more to desire love and affection and although men need these things too, they also place high value on being shown appreciation, being validated and respected. That is when they are at their best.

See alsoMake Me Roar: 10 things that Turn Women On

This is not a list of rules, nor is it to be expected that all men will feel the same way as one another. It is just an outline and guide to understand some of the things that men generally value highly within their relationships.

1. Let him protect you

However strong and independent females are, guys still have the innate desire to want to protect us. Usually the protection comes from the simplest everyday things. Allow them, because we protect them from a lot of things too—just in different ways.

Whether it’s shielding us from the rain with their coats, getting up in the night to investigate strange noises or giving that creepy guy a look that tells them to quit staring, there are countless ways they can make us feel safe. When he is in protection mode, he will feel like a super hero. He is at his most masculine, and endorphins will release to make him feel good. He and he alone wants to feel like he can fully protect—that for a man is extremely potent.

2. Seek adventure with your man

Men want a woman that they can have fun with. They want a buddy as well as a lover. Get involved with the things he enjoys; doing so will help with bonding and bringing you closer together. Take off the heels, play ball, go for a muddy woodland cycle, for dog walks, camp out, swim in a lake—adventure. Men will not care about messy hair and running mascara, as they’ll be too engrossed in the connection that’s happening to focus on anything else.

3. Be his cheerleader

Praise him, have his corner, never criticize him in front of others, compliment, be grateful, believe in him, show him that you are proud of him and stay by his side when the going gets tough. Tell him how important he is to you, how attractive he is and how he makes your world a better place.

4. Give your man space

When men have had a little space, they will bounce back stronger than before. Allow him his freedom and never resent it. Encourage him to submerge himself in his hobbies, sports and friendships. Trust him, let him pursue his passions and allow him to find the things in life that define him, other than your relationship.

5. Have sex — regularly, and with meaning

Men love sex, women love sex. Not all, but for most, the sexual side of a relationship is one of the most important parts for creating intimacy and keeping the relationship healthy and alive. Men need to feel sexy, to know that we are attracted to them physically. However, generally speaking, men don’t just love any sex, for a lot of men, they only find it fully pleasurable when they are in a committed relationship with someone they love.

They don’t want it to be a chore or something they feel is one sided—your pleasure is highly important to him. He wants to know how much you want it too. Be adventurous and explore each other. This is the one side to your partner that no one else has. Find new ways to keep it fresh and exciting: dress up, introduce fun props and find ways to give it an edge to really keep his mind thinking about you all day long.

See also 10 Tips for Men to Cultivate a Better Sex Life. {Adult}

6. Exude confidence and love yourself

Men love confident, happy, independent and secure women. It is not a man’s place to make us happy, it is our own responsibility. A relationship should complement and enhance our lives. When we are at our best, we are also at our most desirable. Love ourselves, appreciate ourselves, adore ourselves and those feelings will be mirrored back 10-fold. One of the greatest aphrodisiacs for a man is to be in the company of a self-assured, sensual woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

7. Try to retain the mystery

But not by game playing, as this will only end in the wrong kind of love or for the man to run for the hills. Be mysterious in subtle ways: surprise him occasionally, keep learning, have your own interests, let a guy know that there is a lot more to you than what meets the eye. Don’t give everything all at once. Hold back, slow down and allow your uniqueness to penetrate him subtly and over time. There is no hurry. Don’t rush love, sex or life, give yourself to him but a little at a time. Allow each part of you to absorb into him, then leave him intrigued and desiring more.

See also The Men who Rocked my World in Bed had 3 Things in Common. {Adult}

8. Feed him ah-mazing food and make shared meals a priority

We all know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and I don’t mean feed him like the dutiful wife, I mean it in a sensual way. Light candles, take time over the preparation, choose delicious ingredients and his favorite drink. Present it well, eat slowly, talk, listen, play gentle music, engage his senses, make sharing food together a bonding experience and then choose a dessert you can tease him with later.

9. Flirt, and show him how he makes you feel

By text, phone calls and when you meet—keep the sexual attraction strong by keeping tensions high with the occasional naughty or suggestive message. Let him know how he makes you feel and what his body does to yours. Flirting is fun. Enjoy how it makes you both feel and say things to make him smile that way he does when certain intentions are going through his mind.

See also I Asked over 1,000 Men & Women about Sex Problems. Here’s what they Said.

10. Make him laugh

Laughing is contagious and not only that, it sends messages to the brain, which then releases endorphins that make us feel amazing. Laughing is good for us physiologically and psychologically. When men are questioned about traits they love in a woman, often this one is near the top of the list: a woman they can laugh with.

Relax around him, joke, play fight, lose your inhibitions, be playful together and as you do, you will be relieving stress and putting your minds and bodies in the right frame for more intimate action. The hormones will release—from the simplest smile to the gentlest laugh, it doesn’t take much for our brains to be convinced we’re in the mood for loving. We can even start by faking a half smile and instantly our brain makes the connection to get things flowing. Try it, it is probably the easiest and most enjoyable way to release pleasure.

To make a man roar and to turn him on doesn’t just mean in a sexual way. It means to fire him up, ignite his spark, fuel his zest for life and make him want and desire your mind, body and soul.

It is about spending quality, not quantity, sensual time together. Connecting, appreciating, exploring, accepting, allowing and most of all enhancing each other’s qualities and unique characteristics.

When all those things are in place, powerful feel good chemicals will release from the brain which help to bond the relationship and the sex—that will come naturally.



author: Alex Myles

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Reply to Marsha Dark cancel

You must be logged in to post a comment. Create an account.

Shannon Weitzel Jun 16, 2019 10:28pm

Everything listed I look for in a man as well… respect, sex, sense of humor. I think men want feminism and food in return. I want protection and devotion.

Marsha Dark Feb 25, 2019 9:52am

Loved the article – and thank you! I found it very insightful. If we are to relate to the beginning of time, in my mind this is what God expected women to provide. Now, mind you, there are things that men need to provide for women too but that’s not what you’re talking about here. I would be happy to be all those things – and more – for a man that gives in return. A win/win every time! 😉

Mark Edward Davis Jan 6, 2016 8:48am

Alexa – you are 100% correct. I’m a men’s coach, international matchmaker, and author on multi-national marriage. The audience of men I speak to each week hunger for more and more on the topic of masculinity and understanding the relationships between men and women – because our culture in the West has deteriorated into a battle of the sexes where couples don’t support each other or try to understand the needs of their partner.

Neither men or women are an island. We need each other to uniquely fit into our lives to empower us to find our highest potential. Woman can uniquely motivate their men to want to charge the hill and save the day for them. Men can make a woman feel captivating and deeply valued when he pursues her heart with every fiber of his romantic being.

I often find that. Young people resist these models of interdependence, preferring the “I don’t need a man” and “I don’t need a woman” mantras that lead to loneliness in their 30’s.

What you outlined is a wonderful blueprint for women to create loyalty and love in her man. For a woman who will do these things for her man – he will never leave her.

Read Elephant’s Best Articles of the Week here.
Readers voted with your hearts, comments, views, and shares:
Click here to see which Writers & Issues Won.

Alex Myles

Alex Myles is a qualified yoga and Tibetan meditation teacher, Reiki Master, spiritual coach and also the author of An Empath, a newly published book that explains various aspects of existing as a highly sensitive person. The book focuses on managing emotions, energy and relationships, particularly the toxic ones that many empaths are drawn into. Her greatest loves are books, poetry, writing and philosophy. She is a curious, inquisitive, deep thinking, intensely feeling, otherworldly intuitive being who lives for signs, synchronicities and serendipities. Inspired and influenced by Carl Jung, Nikola Tesla, Anaïs Nin and Paulo Coelho, she has a deep yearning to discover many of the answers that seem to have been hidden or forgotten in today’s world. Alex’s bestselling book, An Empath, is on sale now for only $1.99! Connect with her on Facebook and join Alex’s Facebook group for empaths and highly sensitive people.