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January 12, 2015

Would You Still Like Me If You Knew This?

out of the closet

I have been asked today to think about what is it that I do – that I’ve always done – that is a lifelong secret habitual pattern.

Something that I would be mortified for anyone to find out about.

I hate putting away laundry.  Really hate it.  I have multiple laundry baskets filled with folded clean clothes in every bedroom.  I would rather do anything than put away laundry.  So I pick through the baskets for the clothes I want to wear.  This unfolds the remaining clothes, which leads to wrinkles.  Lots and lots of wrinkles.

And I hate ironing.  So.

I have always been this way, albeit without laundry baskets.  I would leave my dirty clothes in a pile on the floor and my clean clothes folded in their own piles.  I had a clear trail from my door to my bed.  I thought it was organized.  At worst, my parents thought I was insane to live that way, and at best, that I was a slob.

I am a massage therapist.  I work from my home. My third bedroom is my massage studio.  For 4 months, there is a 19 year old college student living in there, so I had to move my massage practice to my bedroom.  It takes me 30 minutes to “hide” all the clean and dirty laundry before I can set up for the massage.

I have lived my life feeling like I was always catching up, angry with myself for not being as organized as I want to be.

I’ve heard it said that when we bring our shame to light, it loses it’s power.  I am not organized.  I am a walking oxymoron: I am a bit of a slob but I hate living in a mess.  I am living in a prison of my own making.

There.  I said it.  Out Loud.

I own this.

And before my children adopt this practice, I am done. I am letting it go.

Today.

I will let it go again tomorrow, and tomorrow, until I let it go for good.

What secret is in your closet that is holding you back?

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Author: Kendra Hackett

Photo: Flickr

 

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