Warning: Naughty language ahead!
Before the words roar from me like a steam engine
Furious and loaded upon this paper
Burning away
I must tell you, first, that I love you
Yes I love you more than any other fucker I know
We bash off each other wickedly
you’re the way I like my coffee
The amount of care I have swollen in my red beating heart for you
Tries to talk me out of picking up the pen
But if we don’t say all the words
They fester into something that resembles nothing of the love I have for you
I’m still trying to love you
It hits me in the face at 12:32 a.m.
It’s infuriating really
I put down you
I reached at nothing
We called a truce
And perhaps it’s not you
I am trying to love
Perhaps it’s this idea
There
Behind wisdom
You have spoken of
But are not living, now
You’re too damn busy to be loved
Airplane to airplane
I know that because your shit’s as thick as mine
And you dance a convincing dance
Your feathers took me for a fool
Once, twice
Again and again
I’m to blame
I know beneath the dance
What I am writing to say is
You’re just as terrified of love as the rest of us
So keep your flattery
I’ll have my ego stroked elsewhere
After all
You know better than I
That you are only brave enough
To dance there—away from me
To throw offerings
Of sex
Of praise
You’re only brave enough to heat the walls of my cabin with moans
be in between my legs, thighs
one night
What good is sex, without love?
We both know
It’s fucking pointless
I’ve told you again and again
If we make love once, you’re staying in my bed
Your heart is unavailable
Just like me, darling
Bloody hell, it’s why I’m trying to love you.
At least I know that my shit stinks
Take your flirtations
your empty jabs
shove them up your ass
and then write about it
write in circles so no one knows you’re as lonely
as the ones who knock on your door
12:36 and I’m through
This is a monologue
With one heart beating
We’re stronger as friends, than lovers
We always were
Today as almost lovers, we’re through.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
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Author: Janne Robinson
Editor: Emily Bartran
Photo: getthepictures photography/Flickr
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