4.2
February 5, 2015

I Promise Myself.

girl sitting outside

I have read and wrote many things about promises to others, to the ones I love, to my child and to the world.

So therefore, I simply want to promise myself:

Every day I will take an honest look in the mirror. The mirror does not lie—it is only my mind that alters my perception.

And when I take a look, I will not criticise and focus on my inner or outer imperfections. I will instead see who I am on the inside, aware of my flaws and imperfections, and I will be willing to continue the battle with the demons as they arise.

I also promise not to be afraid to celebrate my beauty, with the awareness that beauty is what happens in my soul and not what I see on the outside. Though it is often shadowed by difficulties, I will not allow minor irritations to cast doubt that I am an awesome, unique, incredibly rare treasure that only I can hold.

I promise not to judge others on the basis of my own journey. I have not walked a step in another’s shoes. However hard I try to see things from their perspective, I will never know and never can I prejudge.

I shall also try to loosen expectations of others. No one owes me anything. Not one person. Not my parents, partner, friends, child, strangers or anyone else I ever come into contact with. I don’t even owe myself. I exist alongside seven billion others. An individual.

I am responsible for making my own way in this world and each one that is around me also has their responsibilities to deal with. I will be endlessly grateful for all that others do, everything they say and how they act toward me, but they do not owe me and I will not expect.

I promise to take my time. Life is not something that should be rushed.

Every time I hurry with something I lose focus and I am not fully living in the moment.

Whether it’s household duties, a work project or a walk with nature, I will try hard to enjoy each moment that it is offered, feeling and appreciating the sense of just being alive. I will pay more attention and open my eyes to the magic in every detail.

I promise to love. To love and to love and to love, everything and anything that comes my way. I promise to crack my heart wide open and let it all flow out and overspill into all that I do. I will love the good, the bad and the ugly without asking questions. And I will not expect a single piece of that love to be returned, though when it is, I will celebrate wildly.

I promise to face my fears. Every day I will face them head on, without feeling afraid. I am strong, I am tough and I can defeat anything when my mind is in the right place. I will no longer cower from things that have taken a huge part of my life due to being scared of what lies ahead.

“Tell your heart that fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.” ~ Paulo Coelho.

I promise to curb my jealousy. I remember my grandma saying “jealousy will eat you alive if you allow it.” These are significant words that I need to remember. I am allowing that emotion and I also allow it to consume me at times. It is like a disease—it grows, and when it does, I find it almost impossible to control and cure it.

I must stop it in its tracks as soon as it arrives. It is not welcome and I allow it to control me rather than the opposite. I will repeat in my mind, “I am worthy, I am enough and I am fearless in my fight against jealousy.” It is an ugly emotion, it is toxic and it sucks at my soul. It can creep in, which is fine, but I will put up a hardy fight and defeat it each and every time.

I promise to take care of myself. First and foremost, I must take care of me before I think about others. I am no use to anyone if I am exhausted, burned out, weak from poor nutrition, filled with anxieties and with little zest for life.

Each day I will take time out to nourish myself. I will read, bathe, meditate, practice yoga, eat fresh food, spend time with those I love, spend time with nature and visit the places that inspire my mind.

I will take time out, however busy life is, to spend a small amount of time every day on me and me alone.

I promise to let go. I cannot go through life carrying everything on my shoulders if I wish to stand tall and go far. I will not keep a scorecard and remember each scratch that has caused a wound on my soul. I am not perfect—far from it—and neither is anyone else. So, I will let go, bit by bit. I will not ignore or turn a blind eye nor will I not care less. I will just accept, recognise, breathe deeply and then let it go.

I promise to trust in the universe, my intuition, people around me and in the arms that hold me. I will be let down, deceived and tripped up on regular occasions. However, I know that I am being sharpened and alerted and it is all part of the bigger plan. I will recognise deceit quickly and deal with it quicker.

Until then, I will not allow mistrust to cloud who I am and darken my days. I will open my arms, accept it all and know that I am more than capable of picking myself back up if things falter.

I promise above all to love myself deeply, madly and passionately. I spent so many years not knowing how or where to begin to love myself. And in doing so, I attracted all of the wrong kinds of people into my life who did not love me (or know how to love me) either.

So, I promise to forgive, forget what I can and embrace myself entirely and completely. I am not my past and it is impossible to be my future, so I will simply be me, fully loved, fully aware and fully alive in this very moment each and every day.

 

Relephant read:

Radical Self Care 101.

 

Author: Alexsandra Myles

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Martinak15/Flickr

 

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